How do I react - feeling cut off

It's good that you have such a full life, Katy! That should help you from dwelling too much on how often you get to see your new gs! I know you'll still think about it and maybe want more time than you're getting. But having other interests and activities will probably make it easier if you don't get as much time with him as you would like. Remember you have many years to enjoy being a gran.

Short Burst of Baby Love lol

That was supposed to say Grannyben ha ha xx

Hi Granny en- no I'm not jealous - as I said I didn't want to be like my own mum who is coming up for 90! I don't want to make her feel guilty about anything- I'm just trying to offer support - but yes I will text soon and see if I can pop in for a short bus of Baby Love xx Thanks for all your responses! Xx

Hi Riverwalk- ha ha I'm 58 - but hopefully young at heart - I'm living life to the full have been single for years- Because if you don't make the most of life - (Too short) you have to get out there and live! Yes I have a new grandson- but I work over 30 hours a week cos I have to presently- have some nice friends - travel- go to the gym twice a week! Hopefully a lively nana ha ha xx

I was thinking that, too - "early days." Dd and sil have things worked out between them, as you say. Other than that, they are probably doing what's most convenient - taking baby to sil's mum that one day a week because she's available. Things may change as time goes on.

Since you and dd have "always had a prickly relationship," that might explain why she didn't answer your texts about babysitting. But it may also just be because she's so busy. Imo, you need to accept the situation for now. You can always vent about it here, of course! GNers are good listeners!

My daughter and I have often had a prickly relationship and, when she was pregnant with her first child, i felt sure i was going to be pushed out. The other Nana could afford a top of the range pram and they went together to choose. I felt so hurt. Do you feel a bit jealous? It's quite understandable if you do but just remember, it's early days and things may work out really well. I stuck with it and now i have a wonderful relationship with my 2 little ones. However, I'm another one who never turns up without asking if it's convenient first. Why don't you contact her and say when you are off next week and would any of those times be convenient for you to pop. Do that a couple of times and then maybe suggest you taking the baby for a little walk whilst she has a bath or something. Small steps soon build but remember your place. Oh, and just saying, my little ones Nana lost interest after a few months and really hasn't bothered since

Katybobbs - you sound so young - hardly old enough to be a grandma - cud you say how old your are?

Thanks Starlady - for your lovely response - yes unfortunately - she has a business and they don't get much mp (self- employed) - so I'm sure it's hard - I've never been a pushy mum
- and have been a single mum also - I'm currently single and - work hard! It's not been easy - I'm standing well back now - and giving them lots of space - thanks for the connection - it's strange as I'm not sure how to react as a new Nana - maybe you cud give me some tips xx

Ps. Forgot to mention the mother in law is having him every week one day- but I work funny shifts - so we will have to see ( that was actually hurtful) but I will keep you all posted). Xx

Wow! Thanks for all the messages- and good advice! - yes I have stood back - and will wait- I pushed an Easter card through the door ? and some socks - which she did text back to say thank you ( we have always had a prickly relationship) and yes she is working hard- I agree she needs to get used to the whole arrangement of having a new baby- yes they work it between them _ and it is a busy time - she is a tick lister and has an organised list, so all I can do is try - thanks for all the amazing reaponses xx

Maybe she has "baby brain" and has completely forgotten that you have text.

I may be missing something, why does it matter if GC is first or tenth?

I wouldn't pop in anywhere without being specifically invited.

I doubt dd needs a sitter. She's back to work. The baby is probably in care enough to suit your dd.

I don't think GC minding begins before baby is a few months old, usually. Lots of time in front of you.

We don't go round to our DD unless invited, we have 15 week old DGD, before baby was born we told DD/SIL we're here if they want us for anything or to have baby anytime they know where we are. We have baby on Tuesday for a few hours while DD does housework, and see them once or twice a week apart from that. We're 10 minutes walk away.

Congratulations on the new gb (grandbaby)! Is this your first?

As a pp (previous poster) said, it seems early for dd to be back at work. If she isn't, then she may not feel any need for a babysitter. If she is but isn't taking you up on your offer, perhaps she already has someone minding her child. It's even possible that she and the dad trade off childcare and work hours.

Has she ever said anything to you, at all, about babysitting? Has she ever indicated that she doesn't need/want any babysitting right now? It seems odd and a little rude that she wouldn't respond, anyway, even just to say, "No thank you." But if she has already made her feelings known on the subject, that might be why she's not answering, Idk.

I'm so sorry you are feeling "left out." But for now, I would take her silence as meaning that your help isn't needed/wanted at the moment. As pps have said, there is plenty of time. Please just wait for her to reach out to you.

Early days yet. Your grandson is not going anywhere, so bide your time.

Perfectly reasonable to text/phone before visiting.

How is she doing emotionally? Even if things are going well, there are many adjustments to be made at this stage.

Your DD is most likely getting herself into a routine with little one is she working from home ? You will soon be called on for advice/help just don't push it and let her invite you when she is ready.

She probably just hasn't had time to respond to you yet. remember what it was like, any spare minutes you just want to sleep. Give her time and space.

Give her plenty of space to get to know her baby and get into some routines.

Remember the golden rule, her baby = her rules.

Very few new mums appreciate people popping in unexpectedly (inc. grandparents) so definitely ring or text first and ask if it's convenient or just wait to be invited.

Pushy grandparents are likely to end up estranged if they don't learn to control their impulse to be involved 100%. Take your lead from her.

We always let our DDs know if we plan to pop in - and ask if it is convenient. And not take the 'ump if it is not!

10 weeks is too small for a babysitter. Bide your time and, whatever you do, do not let resentments build up. Your time as a grandma will come.

Your time as a mother is behind you - you have to now accept a backseat role.

10 weeks is a bit young for a baby to require babysitters, I'd have thought. I'd always make contact before visiting, otherwise it could be a wasted journey if they're out.

Is your daughter back at work already? Katybobbs?

I'd always text or phone before I visited. Just polite to make sure it's good timing. I expect she's enjoying being with her baby or sleeping? No need for a babysitter yet! Don't expect you can offer daycare if you're still working?