Grandson is rude.

its a phase ,I wouldn't get too upset by it,one of my GC did the same .I told her that it was a shame she didn't like me as I loved her and always would BUT sometimes I didn't like her behaviour very much and I expected thats what she meant too.She grew out of it ,half the problem was "other gran and grandpa never tell me off,they always take my side and let me have what I want" Good for them I said ,but its not how things work here .

OP, I'd guess someone is saying similar things to GS, a child or a thoughtless adult. These things don't often come out of thin air.
I usually say calmly 'You don't, you just think you do.' or 'Well, I'm sorry to hear that.' and change the subject. ' Well, I don't hate you' is another. I might also tell him that it wasn't a joke as jokes are supposed to be funny. All in a dry, slightly bored tone, it seems to work.
I'm sure you know from his reactions whether he's having a good time while you're out. Some children don't like being asked about how they feel and so don't produce an enthusiastic response. My 6 year old GS dislikes being asked about trips and goes silent but will later, out of the blue, start talking about something we'd done or seen.

Boppity I don't think your DGS is an awful little boy at all. He is behaving the way many children of his age do.How we adults deal with it is the important part, if you choose to ignore this behaviour then he will expect everyone to ignore it, you laugh and he will think everyone should laugh. If he is told from the off that it is not acceptable and downright rude and hurtful he will learn that he can not get away with it. It is a lesson in life that he needs to be guided through.

I would try not to make it into a problem. DGS 5 and I went to play Mini Golf last Friday, then to a nice cafe for ice cream and a drink which has a big adventure playgound. A great timr was had.
Getting home after a very long tram ride(roadworks), Papa was home, he asked DGS if he had a good time,,,DGS NO.
Papa was horrified I just laughed as he had told me so many times when we were out how much fun he was having.
It is a form of attention seeking and if you rise to it it will get worse.
Just laugh and say 'well I did sorry you did not, or well thats a shame as I love you' and leave it be.

Don't you think children should be told it's wrong when they deliberately hurt someone's feelings felice? When they do it to another child at school would you tell that child just to ignore it?

Don't accept this rudeness. Tell him you won't be spoken to like this. He defends himself by saying its only kidding. Tell him you don't like it, and go and do something else. If he comes round saying he loves you which seems to be the fashion these days, ignore him.
Tell him thats not the way a person who loves someone behaves. The more he sees you are hurt the more he will continue with his special kind of teasing, just to see your reaction. Don't encourage him.

Boppity I think evil is a very strong term to apply to a little boy. Grannypiper is right its just a stage he is going through. Don't attach too much importance to this behaviour, let him know its not acceptable and concentrate on the positives.

It is attention seeking, anyone who has been around children knows that their behaviour with their peers is different from behaviour at home.
Is there proof the child is doing it at school, perhaps the parents should ask. If not then do not show the child you are upset, ask yourself why they are doing this to you?
Do they behave the same way with other close adults, if it is one person then finding out the reason is better than chastizing the child.
Adults show example, is the adult critical of others in front of the child, perhaps the child is copying adult behaviour, do the parents talk about the grandparent in front of the child, thus demeaning them in the childs eyes.
As we will never know the whole circumstance seeing it only from the OP perspective we should not be too quick to judge.

BoppityBoo - Try not to be too upset - at 6 he's probably just finding out about words that people find hurtful, and the power it gives him. He might not be one of the loveable cuddly ones.
One of our grand-daughters, aged 3, upset me when I was staying with them, saying "You don't live here!" Looking back, I suppose it was just the truth. Now 13, she has always been an outspoken little madam.

For children to say such things, surely they must first have heard it? Where are they hearing such hateful things? Hopefully not at home. They tend to mimic what they experience. Is he hearing these things said to him? Also I agree with 'blowing your top'. You are allowed to be angry and upset and there's no point in 'protecting' him from it. They need to learn consequence of their actions

It just sounds like the kind of thing children say to each other in the playground. Tell him firmly that it is not a kind thing to say but don't make a big issue out of it or let him know that he is upsetting you in any way.

He's six! Hopefully not at home.'Just kidding' is not something an adult would say.
They tend to mimic what they experience. so blowing your top will probably make matters worse and he will think that is acceptable behaviour.

Be the adult, firm but kind, saying 'that's not nice' every time he says something like should make him think about it and stop doing it - eventually.

I wouldn't ignore it at all. I'd say "How dare you speak to me like that" and if you do it again there will be no........ (whatever necessary)

The child is 6 not 3 and knows exactly what he's doing. It would make me question what his parent's relationship is like. How does his father treat his mother?

Well no half measures then saak.

DGS used to use the expression 'just kidding', not that he said he didn't like me, but would say things like 'you've got a spider in your hair' 'just kidding!' 'there's a snake in the shed' etc etc

His "just kidding" comments are nasty and he's getting them from somewhere which I'm thinking could be home.

I don't do "half measures" Christine.

When he says that he hates you reply "Oh!" In a neutral voice. If you are just walking along with him just keep walking, saying nothing! If he repeats say "Yes you already told me that!" still in a neutral voice. If he says it when you are at home, maybe doing something with him .... also say "Oh!" , stop doing whatever you are doing with him, start doing something for yourself ....make a cup of tea , read, whatever. When he asks to carry on whatever you were doing or asks to play a game or whatever say "No thank you! I don't want to ...with someone who hates me!" You have to keep it up for a while and may have to repeat it a few times, but such "gentle but firm withdrawal" works wonders and makes a child think more powerfully than being told off etc. Pick your moment to have a chat with him about the fact that you love him but that you don't like the unkindness. Praise him for the sort of good stuff that can easily be missed.....waiting to speak when someone else is speaking, compromising well, taking turns...and such like! All of this is steadily working wonders with my steadily cheekier, sometimes rude granddaughter who started school last September

I don't think he's necessarily getting if from home or other adults - kids' tv has a lot to answer for!

Not sure kids TV has much to do with this. OP what's he like with his own gender? Is he just as nasty. This is a childs version of what controlling adults do.

I think you are overstating the case here somewhat saak!!

Er yes mumofmadboys I agree! Saak this does seem a bit overstated for a 6 yr old!

Sarky overstates everything. She'll suggest the parents divorce asap next. . He's a boy FGS..... like Sark they exaggerate magnificently, especially at his age. My GS informed me in John Lewis this week, it was 'the best day of his life'.... he was riding on the escalator! Equally with his 'hates'. The OP should ignore it and not waste time getting upset.

His comments may come over as 'nasty' but that certainly does not imply that the child is 'nasty'. He is 6, learning how to behave with other people at school and at home and sometimes feeling confused by it all. We were all 6 once and made mistakes, that's how we learn.

No harm in telling him he's being rude when he says such things. I would. And if he carried on I'd pick him up on it with "Don't be rude" or, possibly just "Oy!" Just as one teaches a child to say thank you when given something by giving a little "ahem!" reminder when they don't, or by simply not letting go of whatever it is until they say the polite thing.

I think too many of us want to be liked by children rather than respected. I think liking is less important in the long run because you can be respectful even to people you don't like. Telling someone, even at the age of six, that you hate them and that you didn't enjoy some treat they'd organised for you, is unacceptable. He needs to know that.

willsmadnan not sure the boy bit is relevant...seen many of this age group do I over the years, including at present my 5 year old granddaughter!