Teenage boy not talking

What is he interested in that you can talk about? Football? Music? Playing an instrument? Can you take him to football? At 14 he can go on his own, so an away match? London?
As a retired secondary school teacher, I promise 14yo boys often are uncommunicative.

I think it is rather common for adolescent boys to go through a stage where they speak a variant of language known as Caveman Grunt. Fortunately, their linguistic skills improve subsequently in most cases.

Vampirequeen, I laughed my head off at your first paragraph. My 14-year-old GS is exactly as you describe. The only thing that sparks a conversation is if it's about technology, shooting games or fast car chases on TV. I've spent most of his life teaching him about the natural world. I just hope it all comes back to him again when he's older.

Riverwalk

This thread is eight years old 'Kevin' will now be in his 20s

I was just wondering how all the Kevins mentioned on here are doing now, Riverwalk.

Meantime, DD has just discovered that she has a Kevin.

Well it would be interesting to know how he turned out!

Don't take it personally. It's normal. My 12 year old stepson has three sounds. The first is a sort of guttural grunt which is his main form of communication. It means yes, no, good, ok etc. Then there is a sort of cry of pain. That means he's just lost or been killed in a game. The final one is a heavy sigh which is used when me or his dad crack a joke.

He is capable of speech as we can, at times, force a conversation out of him by insisting he speaks or he wants to tell us about something he's seen or learned online.

If boys are like girls then he'll become a human being again when he's 18.

This thread is eight years old 'Kevin' will now be in his 20s

Personally, I would be far more offended by your ill-mannered S or is it Si? his father makes some jokey (or hurtful) remark about our lifestyle

If he was my son, he would soon be told how ill mannered his behaviour is and to stop it forthwith. I am sure I would find a way to squelch him as well. A long cold Paddington stare often works.

Deedaa

Absolutely normal I would have said. I'm sure I once heard someone explaining that, because of the way the brain develops, teenage boys really do become almost incapable of speech. Once the brain has matured a bit more they turn back into human beings.
As far as his father is concerned - this sort of crass jokiness is their idea of conversation and he probably thinks he's being hysterically funny.

thanks to everyone on this thread. i literally have been worried tha tmy son had some sort of neurological condition or developmental problem. i was trying really hard to get him to say sentences and although i have of course seen kevin and heard this before i had kind of forgotten about it. so its really good to know that it upsets other people and has worried other people but that it is normal. i can realx now and stop trying to get him to form setnences as if i was trying to get somone to use their broken arm .....i was thinking oh my god does he need speech therapy does he have huge anxiety issues or a kind of stutter or is he depressed or something but afraid to talk about it because it is just such a perosnality change and its so extreme. i really ahd no idea. kevin is a veritable chatterbox compared to my son. but he doesnt lock himself away in his room. he does hang out with us and ive been terribly hard on him because i thought there was somethinge lse going on. now it all makes so much sense and i can get my head around it that its just a phase and its all gonna be ok in the end and there isnt somethign wrong with his brain.
thank goodness for the internet.

I used to call it the 'duvet' years. You wait it out and then they emerge as young adults. X

I think teenage boys revert to cavemen, disappear into their "caves" and communicate in grunts (unless they are with their peer group). However, the one thing they like is food and plenty of it, so perhaps your grandson could be tempted by his favourite food when he visits you, YorkieChris, and he will always think of a good meal when he thinks of you. Someone once told my husband that they (girls as well) go into a tunnel at about 10 and don't emerge until they're 20. I found it was more 13 - 22 myself, but they do emerge from their chrysalis eventually.

I was going to say the same, Anno. The 20 year old granddaughter has now started communicating more, but her sister is 14 next month and everyone wondered what had happened to her since we last saw her in October. The only thing that seemed to animate her was playing Minecraft with her 11 year old cousin, a boy.

Not only boys: my senior GD went through an uncommunicative phase in her her early teens. Now, at 22, she is a chatty and sociable young woman.

When our youngest son was about 15, all we got out of him was (mostly) unintelligible grunts. At the time, Dave Allen was at his height, and in one of his shows he did a parody of how teenage boys talk, it was hilarious, and we all as one shouted out, "That`s our Neil!"

Sounds quite normal to me. However, just wondering if his father is your DS or DSIL? Either way, is it possible to have a quiet word with him or DD and say his "jokey" comments about your lifestyle could be hurtful - what is his problem with the way you live anyway? (perhaps DGS is picking up on this and taking his attitude from his father?).

Like to thank Deedaa and everyone for your kind replies. It'll be interesting when we all go on holiday in August. Possibly going to be one of the most 'silent' two weeks ever. Not sure why we agreed to it, but what's done is done and so we pretend it's going to be great!!!!!!

Absolutely normal I would have said. I'm sure I once heard someone explaining that, because of the way the brain develops, teenage boys really do become almost incapable of speech. Once the brain has matured a bit more they turn back into human beings.
As far as his father is concerned - this sort of crass jokiness is their idea of conversation and he probably thinks he's being hysterically funny.

Indeed they are. Mine is currently at home with a torn tendon. We pass like ships in the night, he has a den where he writes music and is making a computer game. I see him for about half an hour a day and he says approximately 30 words to me. I know he loves me though.

Yorkie They don't speak, they grunt for instance "Urgh-u-ur-uh"means I don't know, emphasis on the I. "Wha???" means What? and so on. My 17 year old grandson is a beautiful, well mannered and lovely young man - he sometimes comes round with his dad and stepmum but if not I don't worry. He has been quiet since about 14 and after having two rowdy sons and one quiet one I don't worry about it at all. This is what boys are like, as absent said older people aren't really that interesting to some youngsters. With my DGS I catch up with him on Facebook Chat. If he is on there I will message him and send a funny face or something. He will answer on there and always says 'I love you lots' Maybe try this if you are a FB user and he is. Things will change as he gets older. Boys are a funny breed, a different species until they reach about 25.

NO NO I have two sons of my own. I knew that one day that this would happen to me again. there have been times when I have given myself a talking too so that I would be ready for when it happens. this post has made me realise that in a year or two my heart will be broken again. Oh I know that they eventually return as loving young men., I know only to well that for all concerned you have to let go but it hurts it really hurts. Perhaps the remarks by his dad are just banter or he can see your pain and he's trying clumsily to fill a void. if your already feeling a little sensitive the remarks hurt more. Well at least that's how I'd feel in your shoes. Hold tight love is never wasted once he has gone through this stage he will return to be your loving adult grandson

There's nothing interesting about old people when you're 14. He's bored out of his box. I think his parents are unwise to keep dragging him over to see you when he quite clearly would rather be somewhere – anywhere – else.

Kevin the teenager is alive and kicking in our family as well. Seventeen year old DGS1 has just emerged from this phase and spent a great deal of time chatting to us over Christmas....some of the longest conversations we have had with him for about two years! DGS2 is 15 and slap bang in the middle of the big silence - with the occasional grunt but he's just had some excellent mock GCSE results so we'll forgive him anything. DGS3 is nearly 14 so we know we'll soon be bidding a temporary farewell to his sunny smile and silly jokes. DGS4 is only 11 so he has a way to go before he retreats to his room for the duration!!

Bite back at his father if he makes a remark you feel is sarcastic or hurtful. You are entitled to make a sharp retort. Don't stand for it but just make sure there's a big smile for your DGS so he knows you're not displeased with him.

This sounds pretty normal for a 14 year old boy. My nephews, and grandsons all went into a rather silent place at that age. They all grew out of it, and are lovely young men now. I agree with Tegan's point about it not being helpful for his dad to joke in this way. But - lots of men communicate with their sons in this way I suppose.

Oh and if just before I forget YorkieChris my eldest DGS23 will always greet me with a warm hug and "I love you nanna" so proof it does get back to normal whatever that is ?

PS I have an 18 year old son, so we have talked about these things recently.