Life is all checks and balances, hellos and goodbyes. I have sat at the back a plane sobbing my heart out after bidding goodbye to my only daughter and whichever grandchildren, if any, existed on that particular visit. I have stood at the departures gate watching her/them go through – the first time she was only 17 years old – biting back the tears, smiling and waving bravely. Better that every time than never seeing them.
I have also listened to friends and read posts on gransnet who feel that their sons or daughters demand too much childcare, take them for granted in a casual way and who are finding it exhausting/interfering with their own lives/just too much.
I have now emigrated and live 15 minutes' drive from my daughter's house instead of some 39 hours or more travelling time. My choice. I do quite a lot of childcare but then I am making up for lost time. Sometimes it all gets out of hand and I know Mr absent (step father) sometimes finds it a little hard having never had much to do with young children. Absentdaughter suddenly announced that she has a full day course tomorrow, so I have five grandchildren arriving for breakfast and returning at the end of the school day. Mind you, they absolutely adore Mr absent's porridge (I should have bought a bigger microwave).
I have spent all my savings getting here, getting my beloved old cats here and setting up home here – about £20,000. I am living in rented accommodation for the first time since I was in my twenties. My clients are a bit uncertain about asking me to do work for them, although I have written books (or part of them) during previous visits to New Zealand.
I reckon all blessings in life are mixed.