Silly news reports.

Lorry carrying fruit crashes on motorway and creates jam.

Local authority sprays roads with water to stop them melting!

Oh sorry, that’s really happening!

Clinical trials confirm that breathing is health.

Diarrhea outbreak in local hospital. Doctors are trying to get to the bottom of it.

He was a political agiatator who loved his turntable it satisfied his desire for constant revolutions.

Police stated that following the abduction of dogs from a local park they were following several leads.

Toilet Factory Robbery latest....Police have nothing to go on!

Some minor gym jokes:

A man walks into a gym and asks the receptionist, “What machine should I use to impress women?.....
............She responded swiftly, pointing outside the door, saying, “The ATM machine, sir.

Why was the farmer get kicked out of the gym?
He was destroying his calves.....

Why did the fish stop lifting weights?
He pulled a mussel.

Did you hear about the weightlifting vegetable?
He was a muscle sprout

"Exercise? Ah, I thought you said extra fries!"

Why didn't the skeleton go to the gym? He didn't have the guts.

A peephole was found in the gym locker rooms.
The police are looking into it.

Shrieked with giggles out loud all the way through just now.
All windows open for the heat, no TV on.

I don't know what the neighbours think I am up to

More, more!

TerriBull

"People were shocked when the local electrician went out of business" well yes, he was probably a bright spark

Was the closure done in a single phase or three phase?

After a client's snippy feedback highlighting problem's at the hairdressers, the management cut their prices. It did however colour their attitude to the client given she was receiving other fringe benefits.

ClicketyClick

And in today's paper...

🤣🤣🤣

Asked about his role in the cosmetics department in Boots , the store detective said, “I shadow thieves to the checkout.”

And in today's paper...

"I like to be current" well that's ok as long as you don't get crossed wires.

I could go on, but I'd better put a sock et in it!

The prize has to go to MissAdventure! Perhaps people don't have enough drawers for their knickers.

Drunken woman when questioned why she hijacked a ferry replied that she was Jack Sparrow.

Thank you from me too MissA. Loved your E by gum. Inspired

TerriBull

"People were shocked when the local electrician went out of business" well yes, he was probably a bright spark

I like to be current

"People were shocked when the local electrician went out of business" well yes, he was probably a bright spark

Oh, no; thank you people for joining in.
Silly lot!

Thank you MissAdventure. This is just what we needed.

Distraught Owner of Soft Top Sports Car which was Sprayed with Slurry says he
"can't believe how quickly the event unfolded, all at once it was set in motion"

Campsite thief Billy Can described by police as "intense"

When old McDonald retired from the farm they brought in a new C-i-E-i-O