More limericks with very strict rules and I'm standing by with a metre stick ;)

So, let's be philosophical
Life’s not all diabolical
Some days are delight
Today it’s quite bright

54crazyH

So, let's be philosophical
Life’s not all diabolical
Some days are delight
Today it’s quite bright
It helps being methodical

The key to a happier life

The key to a happier life
Is to have no trouble or strife

The key to a happier life
Is to have no trouble or strife
Rose tinted specs,

The key to a happier life
Is to have no trouble or strife
Rose tinted specs,
Lots of generous checks,

The key to a happier life
Is to have no trouble or strife
With Rose tinted specs,
And generous checks,
And don’t be a browbeaten wife

If I had had a crystal ball

If I had had a crystal ball
I wouldn’t have married at all!

If I had had a crystal ball
I wouldn’t have married at all!
If I’d stayed single

If I had had a crystal ball
I wouldn’t have married at all!
If I’d stayed single
Had time to mingle

If I had had a crystal ball
I wouldn’t have married at all!
If I’d stayed single
Had time to mingle
And plenty of time to just trawl

I’d be no good at speed dating

I’d be no good at speed dating
‘Specially when it comes to rating

I’d be no good at speed dating
‘Specially when it comes to rating.
I'd try to be kind

Sadly, there’s not much happening here
Metre sticks must be causing fear
Our rhythm is off

Wrong page GL

I’d be no good at speed dating
‘Specially when it comes to rating.
I'd try to be kind
But know my own mind

I'd be no good at speed dating
'Specially when it comes to rating
I'd try to be kind
But know my on mind
Too fussy, so I'm still waiting.

He must be tall, dark and handsome

He must be tall, dark and handsome
And in his Bank, quite a large sum

He must be tall, dark and handsome
And in his Bank, quite a large sum
Muscular and fit

He must be tall, dark and handsome
And in his Bank, quite a large sum
Muscular and fit
He’ll be quite a hit

He must be tall, dark and handsome
And in his Bank, quite a large sum
Muscular and fit
He’ll be quite a hit
Then my heart will beat like a drum.

Of course he must be kind as well

Of course, he must be kind as well,
With plenty of stories to tell,

Of course, he must be kind as well,
With plenty of stories to tell,
Sense of humour, a must

Of course, he must be kind as well,
With plenty of stories to tell,
Sense of humour, a must
Looks, I'm not fussed

Of course, he must be kind as well,
With plenty of stories to tell,
Sense of humour, a must
Looks, I'm not fussed
‘Cos really, I’m not quite the ‘belle’

My legs are short, fat and hairy

My legs are short, fat and hairy
And most men tend to be wary

My legs are short, fat and hairy
And most men tend to be wary
But with biker boots