July 21 Limericks

I’d see more countryside by trin
No airport queues, another gain,
Just zooming along
Like beats to a song
Flying can be such a pain!

Costing the least would be driving

Costing the least would be driving
But I might be late arriving

Costing the least would be driving
But I might be late arriving
As potholes are deep

Costing the least would be driving
But I might be late arriving
As potholes are deep
I'll drive my old jeep

Costing the least would be driving
But I might be late arriving
As potholes are deep
I'll drive my old jeep
It's springs are really surprising.

It's a bit like a trampoline

It's a bit like a trampoline
Or sometimes a big jumping bean

It's a bit like a trampoline
Or sometimes a big jumping bean
A real bone shaker

It's a bit like a trampoline
Or sometimes a big jumping bean
A real bone shaker
Or a hip breaker

It's a bit like a trampoline
Or sometimes a big jumping bean
A real bone shaker
Or a hip breaker
Certainly not shiny and clean

Cameras and speed bumps abound

Cameras and speed bumps abound
Is there anywhere they’re not found?

Cameras and speed bumps abound
Is there anywhere they’re not found?
Driving used to be fun

Cameras and speed bumps abound
Is there anywhere they’re not found?
Driving used to be fun
Now there’s hit and run

Cameras and speed bumps abound
Is there anywhere they’re not found?
Driving used to be fun
Now there’s hit and run
And parking costs more than a pound

A policeman stopped me last night

A policeman stopped me last night
“Why are you driving on the right?”

A policeman stopped me last night
“Why are you driving on the right?”
"It works well in France!"

A policeman stopped me last night
“Why are you driving on the right?”
"It works well in France!"
“But you’re in Penzance!!!”

A policeman stopped me last night
"Why are you driving on the right?"
"It works well in France!"
"But you're in Penzance!!!"
"Well, my map reading skills aren't bright!"

"I have taken a wrong turn"

"I have taken a wrong turn"
"The other car fancied a burn"

"I have taken a wrong turn"
"The other car fancied a burn"
Please check your sat-nav,

"I have taken a wrong turn"
"The other car fancied a burn"
Please check your sat-nav,
Are they worth, to have,

“I have taken a wrong turn"
"The other car fancied a burn"
Please check your sat-nav,
Are they worth, to have,
Not sure my brain’s ready to learn

We’ve now lost two dear old drag queens 😢

We've now lost two dear old drag queens
Who really were brilliant comedians

We've now lost two dear old drag queens
Who really were brilliant comedians
Edna and Lily

We've now lost two dear old drag queens
Who really were brilliant comedians
Edna and Lily
Danny was frilly

We've now lost two dear old drag queens
Who really were brilliant comedians
Edna and Lily
Danny was frilly
We shall miss them from our screens

Australia has Anzac Day