VERSATILE VERSE 3

Nothing to talk about but lockdown every day
We'll hang out the flags when it finally goes away

And then book a holiday somewhere warm

And then book a holiday somewhere warm
I need peace and quiet, and a place that's calm

I need to ponder how I will spend

I need to ponder how I will spend
I think I might go mad until the money ends

After all this staying in some real extravagance beckons

After all this staying in some real extravagance beckons
She’s not up to speed, her husband reckons

Or able to perform her marital duties

Or able to perform her marital duties
He finds solace in his red-light beauties

They massage his ego and everything else

They massage his ego and everything else
I would not go near him for anything myself

I don't like arrogance in any way shape or form

I don't like arrogance in any way shape or form
there's something about him that is far from the norm

I like a man who's modest and fun to be with

I like a man who's modest and fun to be with
It's doesn't matter if he has no money to give

As long as he's kind with a sense of humour

As long as he's kind with a sense of humour
with a good reputation; not a hint of a rumour

Does such a paragon even exist?

Does such a paragon even exist
Never been broke and definitely not pissed

If so, I’d like a speedy introduction

If so, I’d like a speedy introduction
If not, I'll make a hell of a ruction!

But I don't think perfection exists

But I don't think perfection exists
Unless I make 'to do' lists

But the 'to do' list is never ending

But the 'to do' list is never ending
there's always work to do, fixing and mending

But I've stopped doing that to be creative instead

But I've stopped doing that to be creative instead
And sometimes I do nothing and stay in bed

My get-up-and-go just got-up-and-went

My get-up-and-go just got-up-and-went
I don't know where but it seemed hell bent!

Please send out a search party as I haven't got the strength

Please send out a search party as I haven’t got the strength
To no avail, I’ve done the weight bearing exercises at length

I’m aiming to look like a female body builder

I'm aiming to look like a female body builder
A beefy old bird like my Great Aunt Mathilda

She'd muscles on muscles and scared all the men

She'd muscles on muscles and scared all the men
She'd created for herself a man-free den

She was our town's best female wrestler

She was our town's best female wrestler
And famous all over, not just in Leicester

I think they should build a statue of her

I think they should build a statue of her
One that outshines those of every ancient sir

that shows all her beauty, her grace and her style

that shows all her beauty, her grace and her style
So much better to look at by a country mile

But would the pigeons treat her with respect?

But would the pigeons treat her with respect
Probably not, but a canopy could deflect

The daily delivery of avian droppings

The daily delivery of avian droppings
Avoiding the ladies out doing their shopping

It might make the pesky birds move on elsewhere

It might make the pesky birds move on elsewhere
but pigeons and seagulls will always be here and there

The seagulls dive bomb us when we eat our fish and chips

The seagulls dive bomb us when we eat fish and chips
Though the tourists are grateful for all seagull tips

To enable them all to enjoy lunch al fresco