VERSATILE VERSE 3

So began to think of get-rich-quick schemes
Which were highly successful (at least in their dreams).

They took their ideas to Dragon’s Den backers

They took their ideas to Dragon’s Den backers
Rather than search online because of hackers.

But sadly came away without any cash offers

But sadly came away without any cash offers
so took to teaching yoga to fill up the coffers

they gave up the old bus to live in a yurt

they gave up the old bus to live in a yurt
But a lion attacked and they really got hurt,

In fact, one of them lost an arm and a leg

So began to think of get-rich-quick schemes
But nothing seemed able to answer their dreams

So they then embarked on a life of crime

So they then embarked on a life of crime
And it wasn’t long before they did time

In a building at Her Majesty’s pleasure

In a building at Her Majesty’s pleasure
And there they’ll accumulate mem’ries to treasure.

It’s far worse than lockdown, confined to a cell.

It's far worse than lockdown, confined to a cell,
with all comings and goings ruled by a bell

In fact that's so boring it reminds me of school

(apologies for mucking up the sequence earlier: I’ve only just noticed)

In fact that's so boring it reminds me of school
Who’d choose this lifestyle? Only a fool

But their release date arrived and a new life awaited

But their release date arrived and a new life awaited
Then the judge changed his mind and they felt ill-fated.

Luckily they soon got released on appeal

Luckily they soon got released on appeal
You really have to admire their zeal

When it comes to all things judicial

When it comes to all things judicial
I know nothing, but ask about a facial

I’ve opened a beauty parlour in town

I've opened a beauty parlour in town
But the bills mean I need a lie down

The insurance alone is causing me stress

The insurance alone is calling me stress
Will clients look better? That’s anyone’s guess.

Waxing, spray-tanning and threading their brows

Waxing, spray-tanning and threading their brows
And that’s just for the nuns who’ll be breaking their vows

I’ll offer some health food, cool drinks, nuts and seeds

Bellanonna ????

I’ll offer some health food, cool drinks, nuts and seeds
To enjoy while my massage team tends to their needs

I’m hoping first visits will soon become habits.

I’m hoping first visits will soon become habits
And they'll all be as happy as fluffy rabbits.

So I'll open a new branch, take on more staff

So I'll open a new branch, take on more staff
let's hope it's successful, we all need a laugh

I'll indulge my clients with champagne and cake

I'll indulge my clients with champagne and cake
And for the children there’s strawberry milkshake

I hope they all come to support my new venture

I hope they all come to support my new venture
It's the only way I can afford a new denture.

The price dentists charge is going through the roof

The price dentists charge is going through the roof
But it's got to be done as I'am on my last real tooth!

I should look years younger with a wonderful smile

I should look years younger with a wonderful smile
At night I’ll have to soak it in a bowl of saline

My next beauty trick will be a pair of ‘implants’

My next beauty trick will be a pair of ‘implants’
I just won’t listen to those sycophants

Who tell me all the time I’m absolutely perfect

Who tell me all the time I’m absolutely perfect
When I the mirror what I see is far more like a reject

But never mind the wrapping, I’m beautiful inside

But never mind the wrapping, I’m beautiful inside
And once upon a time I was a lovely young bride.

My body grows old but my mind is still young