Limericks with very strict rules ..... 88558

There was an old man with a beret
In a book by John Le Carre (changed it to 8)
He strolled down the street
His stick tapped a beat
To a tune that was like reggae

He tried to put my mind at ease

He tried to put my mind at ease
Walk, don't run, you'll hurt your knees

He tried to put my mind at ease
Walk, don't run, you will hurt your knees
With his hand in mine

He tried to put my mind at ease
Walk, don't run, you will hurt your knees
With his hand in mine
We went out to dine

He tried to put my mind at ease
Walk, don't run, you will hurt your knees
With his hand in mine
We went out to dine
But before long I caught his fleas.

So I went home to fumigate

There was an old man with a beret
In a novel by one John Le Carre
He strolled down the street
His stick tapped a beat
This was in Kerry!

One day a girl in Limerick

He tried to put my mind at ease
Walk, don't run, you will hurt your knees
With his hand in mine
We went out to dine
But before long I caught his fleas.

So I went home to fumigate
Running at a rapid rate

So I went home to fumigate
Running at a rapid rate
Now where is that spray?

Where, as a matter of interest, did you find this rule?

Lots of limericks, Lear's amongst other, have 99669.

True, but this is the form that was agreed for this thread to get some consistency .

So I went home to fumigate
Running at a v rapid rate
Now where is that spray?
I need it today

So I went home to fumigate
Running at such a rapid rate
Now where is that spray?
I need it today
Those biting pests I must frustrate.

A beauty from Honeypot Lane

A beauty from Honeypot Lane
Thought the mirror showed she was plain

A beauty from Honeypot Lane
Thought the mirror showed she was plain
With a trim and curl

A beauty from Honeypot Lane
Thought the mirror showed she was plain
With a trim and curl
And full skirt to whirl

A beauty from Honeypot Lane
Thought the mirror showed she was plain
With a trim and curl
And full skirt to whirl
She really was terribly vain.

She walked with her nose in the air

She walked with her nose in the air
A nonchalant toss of her hair

She walked with her nose in the air
A nonchalant toss of her hair
So fragrant a lass

She walked with her nose in the air
A nonchalant toss of her hair
So fragrant a lass
She never passed gas

She walked with her nose in the air
A nonchalant toss of her hair
So fragrant a lass
She never passed gas
When she did, it was with flair.

The lads thought she was far too posh

The lads thought she was far too posh
They knew she had almost no dosh

The lads thought she was far too posh
They knew she had almost no dosh
Brought her down a peg

The lads thought she was far too posh
They knew she had almost no dosh
Brought her down a peg
By making her beg

The lads thought she was far too posh
They knew she had almost no dosh
Brought her down a peg
By making her beg
For a seat on the train to Cosh

I went to the Dentist today

I went to the Dentist today
He took just one look and cried, "Hey"