Limericks 14

This year is the ash out before the oak?
So far, this year is beyond a joke
No incentive for anything
With a damper on everything
I may as well have a long hot 'soak'

"I'll do it tomorrow " is my mantra these days

"I'll do it tomorrow " is my mantra these days
Well you've got weeks to sit and laze

"I'll do it tomorrow " is my mantra these days
Well you've got weeks to sit and laze
The kitchen's growing mushrooms

I'll do it tomorrow " is my mantra these days
Well you've got weeks to sit and laze
The kitchen's growing mushrooms
And now I've lost my brooms

I'll do it tomorrow " is my mantra these days
Well you've got weeks to sit and laze
The kitchen's growing mushrooms
And now I've lost my brooms
I walk aimlessly round, in a haze.

This lockdown is damaging our sense of well-being

This lockdown is damaging our sense of well-being
When will it end? I'm not that far-seeing,

This lockdown is damaging our sense of well-being
When will it end? I'm not that far-seeing,
We see life in a new light

This lockdown is damaging our sense of well-being
When will it end? I'm not that far-seeing,
We see life in a new light
Let's hope we can re-write

This lockdown is damaging our sense of well-being
When will it end? I'm not that far-seeing,
We see life in a new light
Let's hope we can re-write
And a better future we'll be guaranteeing

An unfortunate saleswoman from Bicester

An unfortunate saleswoman from Bicester
Was annoyed that no one would assist her

An unfortunate saleswoman from Bicester
Was annoyed that no-one would assist her
So she stood there and scowled

An unfortunate saleswoman from Bicester
Was annoyed that no-one would assist her
So she stood there and scowled
In her anger she growled

An unfortunate saleswoman from Bicester
Was annoyed that no-one would assist her
So she stood there and scowled
In her anger she growled
Until on her tongue she grew a large blister

An old politician from Southampton

An old politician from Southampton
Decided to retire to Roehampton

An old politician from Southampton
Decided to retire to Roehampton
But his savings ran out

An old politician from Southampton
Decided to retire to Roehampton
But his savings ran out
His wife had a pout

An old politician from Southampton
Decided to retire to Roehampton
But his savings ran out
His wife had a pout
As she felt her views had been stamped on

I used to have a rabbit who roamed

I used to have a rabbit who roamed
He eventually had to be re-homed

I used to have a rabbit who roamed
He eventually had to be re-homed
He was happy at first

I used to have a rabbit who roamed
He eventually had to be re-homed
He was happy at first
But his bubble was burst

I used to have a rabbit who roamed
He eventually had to be re-homed
He was happy at first
But then feared the worst

Ooops.

I used to have a rabbit who roamed
He eventually had to be re-homed
He was happy at first
But his bubble was burst
As very soon be felt entombed

A young man was lost in Kircudbright

A young man was lost in Kircudbright
Really what a fright

Sorry, doesn't rhyme Grany ( another strange place name!)

A young man was lost in Kircudbright