EVEN MORE VERSATILE VERSE !

So my advice is, buy an aardvark instead
His snout will sniff out all the rats that we dread

Had too many of them if you know what I mean,
They took over the world, or was that just a dream?

So my advice is, buy an aardvark instead

I don't know what you all make of that
Good stuff, just dont bring home a rat.

Had too many of them if you know what I mean

Compulsive shopping is my worst habit
last time I brought home a little white rabbit

I don't know what you all make of that

My troubled and guilty conscience
Will put down to experience.

Compulsive shopping is my worst habit

I’ll donate the lot to the garden fete
Any proceeds will ameliorate

My troubled and guilty conscience

I'll take some home and set up a stall
And if it doesn't sell at all

I'll donate the lot to the garden fete

We'll travel to Singapore for a gin sling
There's lots of stuff there which could be fake Ming

I'll take some home and set -up a stall

We both like the beaches and the sea
we wouldn't swap gin for afternoon tea

We'll travel to Singapore for a gin sling

Lots of sun lotion and skimpy clothes
The minis and croptops my boyfriend loathes

He thinks my outfits are too revealing
I think his Speedos are very appealing

We both like the beaches and the sea

Lots of sun lotion and skimpy clothes
The minis and croptops my boyfriend loathes

He thinks my outfits are too revealing

Living like this is certainly ideal
Spending my days in the sun does so appeal

Lots of sun lotion and skimpy clothes

No need for housework, we'll live on the beach
Sea and sunshine all within reach

Living like this is certainly ideal

Can’t even sort a booze up in a brewery!
But life in Goa is relaxed and all flower-powery.

No need for housework, we'll live on the beach

We’ll fly off to Goa and embrace hippy life
If we get organised- I’m such a dippy wife

Can’t even sort a booze up in a brewery!

Plenty of herbs are also a must
more fun than housework and looking for dust.

We'll fly off to Goa and embrace hippy life

We'll chant all day long and wear lots of beads
Grow our own veg and plants lots of seeds

Plenty of herbs are also a must

It's a little too soon for us to get physical
I think I'd rather we stick to the mystical

We'll chant all day long and wear lots of beads

My new man’s the energetic type
With his fitness I haven’t a gripe

It’s a little too soon for us to get physical

A serene life of prayer has it's rewards
Or perhaps a life on the waves with our surfboards

My new man's the energetic type

And if after all that, a honeymoon we can't
We'll become Buddhists and happily chant.

A serene life of prayer has it's rewards

Oysters and champagne with lobster and crab
Caviar and Bollinger, and we'll wear nothing drab

And if after all that, a honeymoon we can't

Oysters and champagne with lobster and crab
Then off to see a show so much call a cab

Choose a show that he will love: The Mousetrap

I love you lots but I've got a new man
Don't want this relationship to go down the pan

Putting him first for now at least
We plan on having an enormous feast

Oysters and champagne with lobster and crab

I love you lots but I've got a new man
Don't want this relationship to go down the pan

Putting him first for now at least