The Alphabet Bar ( all welcome!)

Look him up, lemongrove. He was real. I swear.

Karaoke then. Let’s have a sing song. I’m up first with my wonderful rendition of Shirley Bassey and Big Spender. I’ve got my sequinned dress on already. ?

Jukebox now not working, will somebody check it for rissoles?
Customers have been furtively hiding them rather than eating them.☹️

I have never heard of George Jones ,Soop.......did you make him up??

Here you are soop ????? I think I’ll join you ????????

George Jones on jukebox...'He Stopped Loving Her Today'...I'm in bits. Need several Babychams with cherries on a stick to calm me down.

For goodness sake soop. Here have a box of tissues. At this rate you’ll have us flooded out. Oh oh. You’ve got me at it now. Hand me a tissue please ?

Everly Brothers on jukebox. Bye Bye Love...I'm sobbing into my lace trimmed hankie.

Doodle reporting for duty. Chips are my specialty. I will man (!) the fryer soop and you can dish up the rissoles and faggots. lemon you can man the pumps and the juke box. Right apron on and ready for action. Who’s first.?

Chips in the fryer. Faggots and rissoles going begging. Lemongrove Make mine a quadruple. No point in making the barman work his socks off.

Bing Crosby on the jukebox

Ah! Soop has just blown in from the windy city.?
Apricot brandy all round, to keep our spirits up.?

Zero chance of a walk today. It’s pouring down. Think I’ll stay in the bar and drink it dry ?. Early afternoon ? think I’ll have a gin and tonic please barman.......to start

You wouldn’t believe it would you! Just popped in here from soop’s kitchen and find I get stuck with the letter Y again!!!

Xmas, it was. Marydoll had rumpy pumpy with Santa. Although she swears otherwise. Immaculate conception indeed!

Weather warnings up and down the country so I suggest we take care of all the bottles behind the bar in case the wind blows through and smashes them. I think the best option is to drink the contents to keep them safe. I’ll start with the best brandy ? cheers ?

Very likely soop. Remember the Father Christmas incident. marydoll nearly got more than she bargained for there. ?

Understandable, Doodle I've had dyspepsia moments recently. All very tiresome. By the by, where are the chaps who have been gracing this dive establishment? Bet that Marydoll is hogging more than her fair share.

Terrible dyslexia moment.
Misread the “When did we stop using farthings” thread as
...... When did we stop farting
I thought it was something to do with the parsnip brandy ?

Same here lemon though I’d better sit down the windy end with soop. You never know which way the parsnips are going to blow

Retiring to the far end of the bar. Don't want to a casualty of soops internal wind farm. 4 glasses of parsnip wine should be enough to blow us sky high if anyone lights a fag. ?

Question? lemongrove Is that supposed to be a bargain? Will it give me wind? If so, I shall retire to the snug. Make mine a quadruple. No point in wasting energy to-ing and fro-ing for top ups.

People!
Please, less rissole chomping and a bit more ordering drinks, that’s how I make my brass tha knows.
Parsnip brandy on special today, buy one ( sixpence) and get one free!

Oh, you are a sweetie, Chewbacca. As for your predictive text wanting to chang rissoles to something iffy...that would be a snub too far. I've left one on the bar for you. It's not too far beyond it's "best by"...

No worries soop. My phones predictive text keeps changing rissoles to an altogether different item completely, and discerning isn't nearly as bad as I nearly posted.