Versatile Verse

He soon saw him off
I can easily scoff

Now he has a hole in his pants

Now he has a hole in his pants
He is invaded by ants.

He squirmed and turned and did the twist

He squirmed and turned and did the twist
All who saw him thought he was p!!!!!d!

They’ll never know how much he was hurting

They’ll never know how much he was hurting
Serves him right for his creepy lurking.

Make sure you lock the doors tonight

Make sure you lock the doors tonight
You wouldn't want unexpected fright

Get a good night's sleep

Get a good night's sleep
Try to avoid the creep.

Saturday T.V is either Cooking or Sport

Saturday TV is either cooking or sport
Remote control battles being fought

Cooking has won with a tasty dish

Cooking has won with a tasty dish
I think I'make some chips and fish

Can't manage a Mary Berry

Can't manage a Mary Berry
But James Martin would keep me merry

My thoughts turn to Strictly - Tonights TV

My thoughts turn to Strictly - tonights TV
Never mind there's always a DVD

Although I may nap and miss the end

Although I may nap and miss the end
I love seeing the dancers twist and bend

Not being very agile myself

Not being very agile myself
I'd love to dance instead of being on the shelf

The tango would be a great dance to learn

The tango would be a great dance to learn
Especially as I’ve lots of calories to burn

Got two left feet so no good at cha cha

Got two left feet so no good to cha cha
Dance just like my lovely Grandma
Must have lessons to get better

Must have lessons to get better
Now should pop along and post a letter

Grandma will like to know I want to dance

Grandma will like to know I want to dance
She’ll be jiving with me given half a chance

Rheumatic knees won’t hold her back

Rheumatic knees won’t hold her back
She'll dance wildly with the rest of the pack.

But tomorrow she might feel a little bit tired

But tomorrow she might feel a little bit tired
Those dancing steps she’s newly acquired

Might get her a stint on BBC’s Strictly

Must get her a stint on BBC's Strickly
Will do it right now and arrange it quickly

She will be a star turn when she gets on the floor

She’ll be a star turn when she gets on the floor
They’ll be clapping and cheering and begging for more

Twirling and whirling and strutting her stuff

Twirling and whirling and strutting her stuff
You can bet they won't get of her, enough

No third line so what can I do
Wait till I’m back from a trip to the loo

Time for a coffee and a biscuit I think

Time for a coffee and a biscuit I think
Need to rescue my mug from the sink

Bourbon, custard cream or gingernut?

Bourbon, custard cream or gingernut?
These are the things I feed to my mutt.

Boris’s dog is best of the crop

Bourbon, custard cream or gingernut
I don't mind, need to fill my empty gut

Instead of coffee , think I'll have tea