Limericks 9

Are you true to your star sign?
I'd soon not tell what is mine
Here's an old goat
And a lion in his fine coat
Pick one and stand in line.

There's a huge sunflower in next door's garden

There`s a huge sunflower in next door`s garden
I bumped it and said "Begging your pardon",

There`s a huge sunflower in next door`s garden
I bumped it and said "Begging your pardon",
He said "you've broken my neck"

There`s a huge sunflower in next door`s garden
I bumped it and said "Begging your pardon",
He said "you've broken my neck.
Now I look a wreck."

There's a huge sunflower in next doors garden
I bumped it and said, "Begging your pardon."
He said, "You've broken my neck,
Now I look at wreck."
He'll need some starch on it to harden.

Meanwhile, I was watched behind the net curtains

Meanwhile, I was watched behind the net curtains
By a private detective, of that I'm certain

Meanwhile, I was watched behind the net curtains
By a private detective, of that I'm certain
I'm getting worried

Meanwhile, I was watched behind the net curtains
By a private detective, of that I'm certain
I'm getting worried
But not too flurried

Meanwhile, I was watched behind the net curtains
By a private detective, of that I'm certain
I'm getting worried
But not too flurried
But ring a friend to get an alert in

Planning a surprise birthday is tricky

Planning a surprise birthday is tricky
The recipient can be a bit picky

Planning a surprise birthday is tricky
The recipient can be a bit picky
Daren't get it wrong

Planning a surprise birthday is tricky
The recipient can be a bit picky
Daren't get it wrong
They might not play along

Planning a surprise birthday is tricky
The recipient can be a bit picky
Daren't get it wrong
They might not play along
They might call in a 'sicky'.

And then what happens to the 'spread'?

And then what happens to the 'spread'
Well, I can take all the meat and bread

And then what happens to the 'spread'
Well, I can take all the meat and bread
The cakes I'll share

And then what happens to the 'spread'
Well, I can take all the meat and bread
The cakes I'll share
But don't tell Claire

And then what happens to the 'spread'
Well, I can take all the meat and bread
The cakes I'll share
But don't tell Claire
She'll have them all to herself instead

An eager young lad from Kircudbright

An eager young lad from Kircudbright
Asked a maiden to "come and undo me"

An eager young lad from Kircudbright
Asked a maiden to "come and undo me"
The maiden was shy

An eager young lad from Kircudbright
Asked a maiden to "come and undo me"
The maiden was shy
And she said "Wye aye"

An eager young lad from Kircudbright
Asked a maiden to "come and undo me"
The maiden was shy
And she said "Wye aye"
If I do, will I get a fright?

I'm off to a wedding in Perth

I'm off to a wedding in Perth
The loveliest place on this earth

I'm off to a wedding in Perth
The loveliest place on this earth
I met a fair maid

I'm off to a wedding in Perth
The loveliest place on this earth
I met a fair maid
Whose beauty may fade

I'm off to a wedding in Perth
The loveliest place on this earth
I met a fair maid
Whose beauty may fade
Especially after she gives birth.

But it's worth it cuddle her baby