Limericks 9

It will soon be Edward's birthday
Let's all put in, how much you say?
I'll donate fifty pence
And me too, if that makes sense

It will soon be Edward's birthday
Let's all put in, how much you say?
I'll donate fifty pence
And me too, if that makes sense
Let's treat him to an 'eat all you can buffet'.

So they all stuffed themselves to bursting.

So they all stuffed themselves to bursting.
Especially Ed's daughter Kirsten

So they all stuffed themselves to bursting.
Especially Ed's daughter Kirsten
Full of food and regrets

So they all stuffed themselves to bursting.
Especially Ed's daughter Kirsten
Full of food and regrets
She pulled up her fishnets

So they all stuffed themselves to bursting.
Especially Ed's daughter Kirsten
Full of food and regrets
She pulled up her fishnets
And at Slimming World was the first in!

There once was a gran who posted

There once was a gran who posted
I think she had truly 'lost it'

There once was a gran who posted
I think she had truly 'lost it'
She'd flung out her bloke

There once was a gran who posted
I think she had truly 'lost it'
She wrote 'My boy Cyril....

Sorry Far North, you were first.

There once was a gran who posted
I think she had truly lost it
She'd flung out her bloke
For drinking her Coke

There once was a gran who posted
I think she had truly lost it
She'd flung out her bloke
For drinking here Coke
Then, many a cocktail party she hosted.

A traffic cone appeared by her gate overnight

There once was a gran who posted
I think she had truly lost it
She'd flung out her bloke
For drinking her Coke
And now she's on her 'what's it'

She's desperate now to get him back

She's desperate now to get him back
So says she will dress in scarlet and black

She's desperate now to get him back
So says she will dress in scarlet and black
I think that backfired

She's desperate now to get him back
So says she will dress in scarlet and black
I think that backfired
So then she hired

She's desperate now to get him back
So says she will dress in scarlet and black
I think that backfired
So then she hired
Eric, from the local 'rat pack'

This Eric, he does get about

This Eric, he does get about
He says he'll give her guy a shout

This Eric, he does get about
He says he'll give her guy a shout
Tell him she regrets

This Eric, he does get about
He says he'll give her guy a shout
Tell him she regrets
And she'll wear her fishnets

This Eric, he does get about
He says he'll give her guy a shout
Tell him she regrets
And she'll wear her fishnets
The sight of her will knock him out

The nights are fair drawing in

The nights are fair drawing in
A good reason for a glass of neat gin

The nights are fair drawing in
A good reason for a glass of neat gin
Or sherry or port

The nights are fair drawing in
A good reason for a glass of neat gin
Or sherry or port
For whisky I'll vote

The nights are fair drawing in
A good reason for a glass of neat gin
Or sherry or port
For whisky I`ll vote
To drink with my next of kin

My family have all come roiund