Limericks - 3

Should say 'named'

A man called Philip has got a new hip
He's finding it hard when the time comes to strip

It's time to start our new game
If it's boring then I'll take the blame
I've got no whizz-bang
So I'll call up the gang
Saying 'Help, my ending's a shame!'

A man named Philip has got a new hip

It's time to start our new game
If it's boring then I'll take the blame
I've got no whizz-bang
So I'll call up the gang

Oh, Jan I thought you were saying my ending was rubbish,
I have to admit, your ending is better.

Oh noooo, Forgot to refresh!!

Perhaps I should just stay indoors
And keep wearing my warm winter drawers
They're roomy and wide
Keep my secrets inside,
I'll be doing no naked encores!

Now that got some into a muddle

It's time to start our new game
If it's boring then I'll take the blame
I've got no whizz-bang

It's time to start our new game
If it's boring then I'll take the blame

If anyone can think of a better first line, please go for it, my brain hurts

Perhaps I should just stay indoors
And keep wearing my warm winter drawers
They're roomy and wide
Keep my secrets inside
But, I'm worried they'll fall to the floor.

It's time to start our new game

I give in on this one!

Perhaps I should just stay indoors
And keep wearing my warm winter drawers
They're roomy and wide
My bum I can hide

Perhaps I should just stay indoors
And keep wearing my warm winter drawers
They're roomy and wide
Keep my secrets inside

Perhaps I should just stay indoors
And keep wearing my warm winter drawers
Walk around on all fours

Perhaps I should just stay indoors
And keep wearing my warm winter drawers
They're roomy and wide

Perhaps I should just stay indoors
Safer to keep out of the way

Perhaps I should just stay indoors
And keep wearing my warm winter drawers

Tonight when it start to goes dark
I'm going to streak for a lark
With my bits in plain sight
I shall look quite a fright
Cellulite looking very like quark

Perhaps I should just stay indoors

Tonight when it start to goes dark
I'm going to streak for a lark
With my bits in plain sight
I shall look quite a fright

Tonight when it start to goes dark
I'm going to streak for a lark
With my bits in plain sight

Tonight when it start to goes dark
I'm going to streak for a lark

Barberdice

Oh I'm so looking forward to summer,
This winter has been a real bummer,
I'll cast off my dull clothes
Put sun cream on my nose
And run naked to let in the plumber

Tonight when it start to goes dark

And run naked to let in the plumber!

Tonight when it starts to go dark