Limericks - 2

Apologies!
There once was a Tory named Boris
Whose best chum at work was called Horace
They schemed and they plotted

There once was a Tory named Boris
Whose best chum at work was called Horace
They schemed and they plotted
To make voters besotted

There once was a Tory named Boris
Whose best chum at work was called Horace
They schemed and they plotted
To make voters besotted
To get his name changed to Doris!

There was a nice girl called Diane

There was a nice girl called Diane
Who tried hard to find a nice man

There was a nice girl called Diane
Who tried hard to find a nice man
Her Gran said "Try Charlie"

There was a nice girl called Diane
Who tried hard to find a nice man
Her Gran said "Try Charlie"
"Or that nice Ed Farley",

There once was a Tory named Boris
Whose best chum at work was called Horace
They schemed and they plotted
'Til their brains were quite knotted

Sorry - wrong page

There was a nice girl called Diane
Who tried hard to find a nice man
Her Gran said "Try Charlie"
"Or that nice Ed Farley",
He owns a big house and a van.

The sun is shining quite brightly

The sun is shining quite brightly
I'm feeling uplifted and sprightly

The sun is shining quite brightly
I'm feeling uplifted and sprightly
I'll jump on my bike

The sun is shining quite brightly
I'm feeling uplifted and sprightly
I'll jump on my bike
Perhaps go for a hike

The sun is shining quite brightly
I'm feeling uplifted and sprightly
I'll jump on my bike
Perhaps go for a hike
Hoping lycra's not unsightly

There once was a Presidents Club

There once was a Presidents Club
Which was sitting right next to a pub

There once was a Presidents Club
Which was sitting right next to a pub
The men were so lewd

There once was a Presidents Club
Which was sitting right next to a pub
The men were so lewd
Their behaviour so crude

There once was a Presidents Club
Which was sitting right next to a pub
The men were so lewd
Their behaviour so crude
And they thought it OK ,THAT'S THE RUB

We've just had a great GN lunch

We've just had a great GN lunch
Loads of tasty morsels to munch

We've just had a great GN lunch
Loads of tasty morsels to munch
I wish I was there, it sounds like great fun

We've just had a great GN lunch
Loads of tasty morsels to munch
I wish I was there, it sounds like great fun
When is the next one?

We've just had a great GN lunch
Loads of tasty morsels to munch
I wish I was there, it sounds like great fun
After a great day, we're all a bit done!

We've just had a great GN lunch
Loads of tasty morsels to munch
I wish I was there, it sounds like great fun
After a great day, we're all a bit done!
And we'll have many more, is my hunch.

I've been watching the news with a frown

I've been watching the news with a frown
And Donald Trump is getting me down

I've been watching the news with a frown
And Donald Trump is getting me down
Wish he'd have a new hairstyle

I’ve been watching the news with a frown
And Donald Trump is getting me down
Wish he’d have a new hairstyle
Because I’d run a mile