There was an old lady in heaven Who once lived in beautiful Devon She got fed up with sand And the noise of a band So she took a running jump into the Severn.
Thank goodness the days are now longer Said the chirpy and happy fishmonger Sitting here gutting fish For a nice tasty dish Will make my hands smell all the stronger
An old boy sat on a park bench He was hoping to find an old wench Along came a bag lady Who looked rather shady He left the bench and the wench with the stench
Now it's New Year I must lose some inches I've grown armfuls of fat not just pinches My clothes are too tight Getting dressed is a fight And my skinny jeans need hoisting with winches
If the diet's not working don't worry Just dig in to a huge bowl of curry, Can have some brown rice Which is ever so nice But you'll run to the loo in a hurry!