Limerick

There was a young lass from Newcastle
Who put on each nipple, a tassel
And then, greatly daring,
And without even caring
A third one she swung from her ass'le

A nervous young potter from Stoke

A nervous young potter from Stoke
Dropped the pots that he made, and they broke

He cried and he wailed

A nervous young potter from Stoke
Dropped the pots that he made, and they broke
He cried and he wailed

A nervous young potter from Stoke
Dropped the pots that he made, and they broke
He cried and he wailed
Because he had failed

A nervous young potter from Stoke
Dropped the pots that he made, and they broke
He cried and he wailed
Because he had failed
And everyone thought “what a joke”

There was a sweet granny from Bude

There was a sweet granny from Bude
Who sometimes enjoyed being rude

She'd curse and she'd swear

So sorry

There was a sweet granny from Bude
Who sometimes enjoyed being rude
She'd curse and she'd swear

There was a sweet granny from Bude
Who sometimes enjoyed being rude
She'd curse and she'd swear
Her nostrils would flare

There was a sweet granny from Bude
Who sometimes enjoyed being rude
She'd curse and she'd swear
Her nostrils would flare
Just to prove that she wasn't a prude.

There was a weird postman in Chester

There was a weird postman in Chester
He'd make sure that his post didn't fester

There was a weird postman in Chester
He'd make sure that his post didn't fester
With some elastic bands

There was a weird postman in Chester
He'd make sure that his post didn't fester
With some elastic bands
And swift work from his hands

There was a weird postman in Chester
He'd make sure that his post didn't fester
With some elastic bands
And swift work from his hands
His letters got pinged right to Leicester

There was a young girl named Boo

There was a young girl named Boo
With a secret that nobody knew

There was a young girl named Boo
With a secret that nobody knew
If someone found out

There was a young girl named Boo
With a secret that nobody knew
If someone found out
She'd give them a clout

There was a young girl named Boo
With a secret that nobody knew
If someone found out
She'd give them a clout
As, like us, she had not a clue

Whilst wandering lost in a fog

Whilst wandering lost in a fog
I slipped and fell into a bog

Whilst wandering lost in a fog
I slipped and fell into a bog
The bog was so deep

Whilst wandering lost in a fog
I slipped and fell into a bog
The bog was so deep
I fell down in a heap

Whilst wandering lost in a fog
I slipped and fell into a bog
The bog was so deep
I fell down in a heap
And unfortunately swallowed a frog.

If I had a million pounds

Whilst wandering lost in a fog
I slipped and fell into a bog
The bog was so deep
I fell down in a heap
And crawled out on all fours like a dog!

Ther was a sweet girl from Penzance