Cookbook for a widower

Once again, many thanks for your input! Lots of really constructive, positive advice on this thread. I shall be talking to his daughters when they next visit too. I particularly like the suggestions of writing down instructions on how he can cook his favourites rather than a commercial book which would no doubt have some things he wouldn't eat anyway and he might find the concept too much bother. Thanks again GNetters! ?

I have crated a book of recipes and where to buy and how much to buy stuff for cooking Mr B meals for when I am gone.

When you are cooking your meal why not invite him to have a lesson I use to with my friends husband after she died.

Why not create your own file of recipes for him?
You could start with a couple of basic recipes and add a new one every so often.

I would ask his daughters if they could help in providing some frozen 'ready meals' for him.

It does often seem just too much bother to cook anything much just for yourself. The Cook frozen meals taste home made and are handy to keep in the freezer.

There are numerous cook books aimed at students which would probably be ideal.

My aunt insisted that her husband did one of these basic cooking courses, she was a lot older than him and in poor health. He learnt and did all the cooking while she lived - and very good he was too, but once she died he couldn't be bothered.

My father, also a widower, watched Delia regularly, and even though he had very little cooking experience soon became an expert cook and no social event in the groups he belonged to was complete without his trifle, victoria sponge or meat loaf,

The difference is motivation, All the cookery books and classes will not get anyone cooking who cannot be bothered, no matter how much they moan. You have only to read food threads on GN to realise how many singletons cannot be bothered to cook for themselves, even though they can.

I am like my DF, I love my food, always have, not quantity, but flavour, texture, variety and I already know from when DH has been away from home, occasionally for weeks, that I keep cooking.

Local councils often run basic cooking courses and Age UK did some in our area specifically aimed at older men.

Jamie Oliver ‘Jamie’s Ministry of Food’ is flagged as teaching anyone to cook in 24 hours. Not sure if that’s so but certainly my DiL used it to teach herself to cook ‘English’ food and DS finds it useful for reference for skills too.

Maybe you could join forces with him in developing a cooking guide brochure for empty nesters with adaptations for singles. It could be given out be seniors groups, church groups, etc. he might feel much better if it were a job and not a daily drudge.

Delia Smith
Youtube
Jamie Oliver 5 Ingredients
Stand beside him and instruct him how to set up the slowcooker for one basic dish, say beef and root veg. Say you and DH will be round at 5.30 to sample it - he has asked for help and it may be better to invest a little time if you are willing, and enable him to be more independent than have him start to rely on you for meals and to subsidise him. Mind you it depends how old he is ... if he is 101 perhaps it would be better if he ordered ready meals!

I repeat what I said, the person concerned has to want to do it!

Although a fairly keen cook myself, I confess that when Mr P was working away, and only home from Friday night to Monday morning, I found ready meals the way to go!

(Didn't really want to start cooking from scratch when I got home from a 9 to 5 job, with a half hour travel.)

Our local council run a basic cookery course which is also a way of making new friends.

Many thanks for your input on this, I don't want to withdraw my help but I do feel he should be making an effort himself. I might consider speaking to his daughters who visit regularly as he is often on a "downer" and I'm sure, if he applied himself and made the effort it would serve to give him some sort of occupation as well as a square meal.

Jack Monroe has some simple, unpretentious, delicious recipes in her cookbooks. A couple of them are -

Cooking on a Bootstrap: Over 100 Simple, Budget Recipes
Tin Can Cook: 75 Simple Store-cupboard Recipes

There are cookbooks for young people suddenly thrown into cooking for themselves in a student flat, or other similar situation. One of those might be useful to him.

Perhaps you could find one that seems to suit him or has a recipe for something you know he likes, read up yourself on a couple of dishes first and show him how to make those and how to do the most basic cookiong methods, referring to where the book mentions them, then leave him to read the cookbook for himself. Cookery is mostly about knowing a few methods and being able to read and follow a recipe.

Delia Smith did a book called (I think) One is Fun, or something like that?

But the person would still actually want to be bothered to cook.