Too poor to eat properly

Its just as disappointing for me to find that some people think I'm lazy, with a drink or drug problem and unable to work out for myself how to budget.

My mum was a single mother in the 50’s-60’s, there were no benefits to speak of and she drank and smoked, got my clothes (my sisters were older, not sure if they were the same) from the local WRVS branch. We had no indoor toilet, no heating apart from the coal fire (old man living next door would throw a few pieces of his coal delivery over our wall to help us out), but we always had at least one good hearty meal a day. She would send me to the butchers for ‘bones for the dog’ as they were free. We didn’t have a phone and our tv was a rental. You fed money into the back of it, no money, no tv. I remember sitting in candlelight because we had no money to put in the electric meter.

I am not saying folk should go back to living like this, but I do sometimes wonder if their priorities are all wrong nowadays. A roof over your head was always number 1, then food, anything else was a bonus. And strangely enough, most of my childhood memories are of happy times, playing out with my pals all day.

But believe me, life was very, very hard back then!

nonnie when I have face to face conversations with friends we ask each other questions about what each other have said! Why would I have a 'problem' with your post?? I was genuinely asking you the question ..if social housing has been sold off and not replaced, private LL are not always keen on social housing tenants , so where will poorer folk live?

My mother had taught me all about boiling vegetables and stewing meat, but nothing fancy like roux sauce
I can make a roux sauce (it was one of the tasks my mother passed on to me) but rice is another matter entirely - so I buy the boil in the bag which is not a cheap option.

I have really started to think about food a lot lately as I frequently have to feed DGC (3 or 4 or more days a week) and always try to provide a balanced meal. When they were babies I blended what we were eating and stored it in mini cartons in the freezer, chicken, pork, beef, fish with vegetables and potatoes, rice or pasta. As they got older I chopped to make them more chunky. Friends of their parents were envious and commented on how good they tasted compared to tins or jars of baby food. I never added salt (or sugar) by the way. It also probably saved them a fortune too!

I believed that as they were fed this diet from an early age they would continue to prefer it. How wrong was I? When they are at home with mum they have fast food or take-aways, pizza, doughballs, tinned soup or pasta being common. School lunches consist of crisps, sausage roll, choc bars etc.

Now when they are with me I struggle with waste. One doesn't like potatoes or any vegetables, one won't eat meat (too chewy even though I pull it or chop it), has gone off cottage pie, bolognese, fish, etc etc . Very little fruit apart from grapes or strawberries (not for DGS yuck!) So far they will all eat sausages though only the blandest ones and bacon butties laden with ketchup. However a MacDonald's or KFC is wolfed down and pepperami pizzas get eaten (not a home made one though)

To be fair, the youngest (age 6) still eats most things including veg, salad and fruit She loves cucumbers and peppers but can't take to tomatoes despite trying several times. She is also the healthiest!!!! Mind you I am dreading when she too turns....

They have all cooked with me too, which is often advised to gain their interest in food, and though I consider myself well educated in the provision of good food for children this has me beaten!! I get so frustrated scraping plates into the bin and being the wicked grandmother saying no to sweets or puddings because they are clearly not really hungry!

Grandma2213, is there still a school that allows crisps and choc bars in the lunch box?

PECS the reason I asked the question was because the last line of my post was "So I'm not against selling off the houses, just think the money should go back into housing for those who need it." That is why I didn't understand. Perhaps you didn't get to the end of my post?

newnanny I can understand how you must feel about the judgmental attitude. I am not, and never have been, a LL but I am sure they are not all wicked. I find most people on gn are fair minded and reasonable but there are the odd few who seem quite blinkered.

Yes but the money has not gone into social housing, Nonnie!

But PECS that was part of my post, I gave my opinion about what I thought was right, I didn't say that is what had happened. I still believe it is better to mix different types of household rather than separating them into home owners and social housing. How else can people understand others who have different lives?

Maybe I misunderstood Nonnie I do not disagree with the concept of mixed housing. In fact where I live is pretty much like that!

Thanks PECS, I think you did misunderstand but that is what we do when we have other things on our minds. I always appreciate it when someone does that, so many just ignore it when their mistake is mentioned. I always say when it happens to me. Only polite.

Nonnie ..and what we would do if we were talking face to face!

I buy a weekly magazine, it has a separate food section.
One lady wrote that she tries to give her children balanced meals, including some protein. Her teenage daughter said "But Mom, nobody eats protein these days!"
It's an american magazine btw.

I'm sure we would be fine PECS. I suspect there would be things we would agree to disagree about but we wouldn't hurl abuse at each other.

I hope not! ..hurl abuse I mean.. but yes we would probably agree to disagree. I cannot think of anyone I agree with 100% on everything!

Much easier face to face to express what we mean than in posting on here.

I refer to a few earlier threads that explained that you didn't have to be as thick as a brick if you din't understand how to cook.
My DD rang me up from uni. to ask me how long you had to boil a potato. I'd never given it a thought-rather depends doesn't it? Until it's soft?

Pamela maybe she was just feeling a bit 'needing mum'? Or perhaps had been in a discussion with someone else about it. Some do seem to think there is a mystique about cooking and get quite a surprise when they find out there isn't!

I get your point newnanny. I know there arw good LLs. But many aren't and its a huge problem. And the thhing is you can sell your property at any stage. Social housing provides ( or used to and still should) a home for life that the tenant can improve and make theirs with the security and good mental health etc that brings.

I appreciate I could sell at any time but i tell my tenants when they move in I won't be selling until X (date mortgage is repaid on interest only or until Z won't be selling in my lifetime as repayment. So every tenant knows where they stand and I do allow them to paint rooms themselves and put pictures up etc. if they wish provided if they move out they repaint it back to Magnolia. I know a lot of other LL and we all think/do the same to be honest. I have only refused to repay deposit once in 17 years and that was when a couple had smashed the mirrored robes and I deducted the amount it cost to be replaced. I know a lot of LL and the ones i know are all fair to tenants and keep the properties well maintained. Apart form anything else it does not make good financial sense to buy a property and not keep it maintained. I do see the rogue LL programmes on TV though so they must be about. There should be a certain standard to meet certified by council. I would welcome that as the few bad LL gives the good LL a bad name.

I don't actually agree that social housing should be for life. Some people with SH become very wealthy and should no longer be entitled to SH. It should be assessed on need every 3-4 years. In jersey that is what they do. A friend lived in SH and when their DD left for uni they had to move from a 3 bed to 2 bed. 2 years later when her son left for uni they had to move into 1 bed. Otherwise you get families with 4 children in 2 bed house.

newnany prepare to duck! When I said that a few years ago I received a lot of flack. I don't know if it is still true but there was a very highly paid union leader who was still living in a council house. Imo that was wrong, he should have given it up to a family who needed it more than him.

In NL you can qualify for SH if you have lived long enough in the particular place. A friend has sold her house because she needed to when she retired and has been given a SH flat. The good thing is that her rent is based on her income. I know it is an unpopular idea but if SH rents were based on income those who could afford to buy their own homes would choose to either do so or pay a higher rent which could be used to subsidise those who earned less.

It must be hard if you have lived in your home for many years to have to move to a smaller home but if it is a choice between that or a family living in a b&b I think the family should have it. If we had more smaller SHs it would help.

There is something of a two class system in people in social housing should downsize, not from choice, those who can’t afford to buy shouldn’t have roots, shouldn’t have grandchildren to stay, they have a house not a home

I don't know if it is still true but there was a very highly paid union leader who was still living in a council house

I don't know if it is true but there was a very rich politician subletting his home to make money.