So how old do you think I am? (Don’t answer that!)

Sometimes people get it wrong in the opposite way. I was in Morrison's a while back in the queue behind a woman who was buying alcohol. The check out operator asked her for ID and she didn't have any with her. She apologised and added, "But I am 38!" I bet she walked out of there with a light step. I wasn't buying alcohol that day so I didn't get asked....?

Talking about age.Two friends have just had their 80th birthdays .
Most of their cards (not mine) have a big 80 on them.
If I reach that age I hope I will not need reminding and any cards with 80 on them will be turned the other way.

What planet are you on GillyEB?
Or just stirring?

I started the thread not a fight that would appear to be you

Maybe she hates driving and just made this comment with respect to driving in general? I have several friends who hate driving.

I'm 58 and still going through many unwelcome post-men. changes. Used to (up to even three yrs ago) be considered in my forties, but now , not so. Hey ho.

My grandson who is 8 years old wanted to know how old I was so I told him, he then proceeded to tell me that his other nana was older but looked younger than me!! I was feeling quite good up till then ?

Nannan2 After working for 46 years I was entitled to collect my oension after paying for it all those years. My DD is 55 and certainly doesn't consider me elderly. I was 64 when my youngest DS was 18 and no one ever thought I was his grandmother. To me age is just a number and doesn't really indicate anything else

You are a great deal braver than me Maw as to where you drive, so hats off to you.
I asked DGS aged 6 how old did he think I was.....answer
29 ?
I expect that sounds very old to him though.

Not age related but also M & S, I popped in after doing my driving license photos in a photo booth. I thought I was looking rather good - hair done, nice makeup, smart top. When I was served in M&S the assistant asked "would you like bags, sir?".

Apricity

I think its nicer to be a bit gracious. Absolutely! I couldn't agree more.

Funnily enough, I adore Miss Marple and she has been my role model since my 30s. I used to tell my children "When I grow up (!) I am going to be Miss Marple". My favourite is Joan Hickson - so much truer to Agatha Christi's writing than the modern ones.

I actually appreciate it a lot better when people offer help. Being disabled, although possibly not always obviously so, I am nervous carrying hot drinks near people as I tend to be wobbly. In the cafes and coffee shops where I live, the young staff are so sweet about looking after me. I also sing with the University choir where I used to teach. The students are wonderful! So funny and yet so very kind and helpful. I think to grow old graciously is something to aim for.

As for driving - I have always driven a lot and driven large vehicles too. My husband died when I was just 42, so I had to do everything. At nearly 70 I am not embarrassed to say that driving in my part of England isn't the same as it was. Much more traffic and complicated road schemes. The pleasure in it went long ago. I drive of necessity, not for pleasure. If I could pay someone to drive me I might consider it!

I am with Baggs, my first thought was that the shop assistants comment was more about her own mother. I could go further and suggest that she was probably being honest in agreeing about the roundabout, but might have been a very competent driver and was just being polite - imagine if she had said "don't be silly, that roundabout is easy to navigate, perhaps you should consider whether you should still be driving." Then there might be a case to take offence!

As a child I was taught that it's rude to make personal remarks even if only implied and even if you think you're paying a compliment. As a teacher, I tried to impress that on the Y1/Y2 children in my class especially when they cheerfully announced, "Mrs Popbottle, Your hair is sticking up!" (I've always had trouble with my hair!) Children blurt out the first thing in their heads. Trouble is, the majority of us never grow out of it. I asked a lad in my karate class if the man who brought him (grey hair, portly, obviously middle-aged) was his dad or grandad! As soon as the words were out I wished for the floor to open and swallow me. Of course the guy is his dad. I felt bad for ages, lay awake at night even! Most people don't ever realise they might offend. The odd slip up is salutary, for me anyway. It makes me think twice for a while.... But, if we had to consider every word before we spoke, we'd be too worried to speak at all!

I went into a boots chemist and a young chap asked me at the till, I could apply for getting double points for my purchase being 60. I looked at the woman next to me and she said I'd say nothing. I looked back at the young man and said you would feel a bit of a fool if I wasnt 60 don't assume. Also one day I had just had my hair cut and blow dried when I walked back to my car and was stopped by one of these people selling and asked if I would be interested in having a make over.

I think that driving in older age is a separate aspect.
It involves a risk to other people.

I went into Clarks once and the sales assistant told me 'we have a sale on slippers now!'. I told him I was allergic to slippers. Never wear them, ever.

I think age is an attitude more than a number. If you can still get about independently and have all of your faculties you are doing well and you are young. That is what I think. My sister is in her mid seventies and still walks 5k every day and runs 5k every weekend even in the rain. She also swims 1 mile about 3 times each week and is as fit as a fiddle. Our Mum was the same, always kept herself physically active walking and gardening and mentally active as could do countdown and crosswords and played a mean game of scrabble in her mid eighties. I just try to look after myself, eating well, light exercise like swimming and stretches, only wear makeup when going out somewhere in evening, not too much alcohol, walking in fresh air, good moisturizer and occasional facial. I feel young so I am young. I think if you have your health it is easier to feel young. I don't expect the sales assistant was meaning to be insulting. Probably just wishing her Mum was still driving.

I have had this both ways. I have used a stick since my early 40’s, people equate sticks with all old or senility even though I had a young child but then 4 years ago I had a stroke and my daughters,both early 20’s followed the ambulance to the hospital. As I was being pushed to my bed one of the nurses said your sisters are waiting in the family room til they can see you. Wonder if she had bad eyesight or just trying to be nice lol

I was in a busy JL cafe last week when the checkout lady called an assistant over to carry my laden tray. I don't think it was an age thing - I probably just looked like an accident waiting to happen as I was carrying bag, coat etc. I was so pleased to get such special treatment.

We have such a minefield of not offending people these days, and it's impossible to think through how to express everything before we speak, so I try to make allowances for gaffes. If you were expressing nervousness on local roads Maw the M&S assistant was probably trying to express encouragement that you hadn't given up. She wouldn't have known you were a regular and competent driver. Agree with Tillybelle - best to be gracious and give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes those trying to be helpful must feel 'damned if you do and damned if you don't'. If someone offers me a seat on a bus, I accept it, thinking I must look as if I need it! I think they might not ask someone else if the offer is rebuffed.

On the other hand, I didn't practice what I preach or feel gracious at all towards the optician who told me, when I was asking if prolonged screen work could have quickly worsened my eyesight, that I should expect my eyesight to be deteriorating fast at my age (40)!

Does it really matter how old/young we look, we are the age we are - end of.

I was in Sainbury’s with my partner, riding my new mobility scooter. My partner always does the packing because I don’t do it the way he likes (!) At the checkout I moved up so the lady behind could start putting her things of the conveyor belt and she leaned over and said ‘Don’t worry darling, my husband had a scooter I know what it’s like. I smiled politely and then she said ‘Is that your son? well, what could I say - I am 67 and my partner is 71!

Yesterday my small grandson asked me if I was going to die because I was so old. After reassuring him I foolishly asked how old do you think I am?’ ‘183’ came the immediate response. And there was me thinking I looked good for my late sixties!

'Oh, to see ourselves as others see us!' said someone too clever for their own good a long time ago.

When DGS3 failed his driving test after messing up the approach to a busy, one-way intersection I sympathised and said that at times it could be a bit of a pain.

DD said, 'There you go. Even Granny hates driving there despite all her experience.'

That wasn't what I said or meant but I let it go.

Sometimes compliments feel more like insults!

After I had a hysterectomy aged 39 I found my memory and mental processes were completely shot. I visited the doctor (a young locum) who said "Of course, mental agility does decline with age" . . ???