My niece and I have always been incredibly close. I was still at school when she came along and so I was always with her at family functions and very soon was babysitting her often, especially in the school holidays even though my sister never worked. Eventually it came time for her to babysit for me and she would often stay for weeks in the holidays because my home is beautifully set with a pool so it was like a holiday. Even her friends came to stay many times. She has always been a sweet girl in my presence apart from the usual teenage phases.
A little while ago now her relationship with my sister broke down and then separated.
At first, this did not put any pressure on me and I just quietly hoped things would resolve. Now things are getting very stressful.
My niece does not talk about her mum, she does not ask after her. My sister is becoming a very different story. At first it was simple, asking after her daughter to which I would give a non committal answer as to her welfare. Now things have become very harassing.
My sister will often message me and demand to know if I have seen her daughter and when. If I cannot attend an arrangement with my sister, she believes it is because I am with my niece. If I am unable to speak on the phone or answer her messages immediately she will send message after message asking if I am with her and then instructions on what I should say to my niece in that case. Even more frustrating is that she has started to do the same with my children, her own niece's and nephews and they are becoming stressed too.
Right or wrong I am not telling my sister her daughter isn't speaking about her. I have my reasons for that because I said it just once and my sister became enraged. I am getting my sister's side of stories I haven't witnessed myself. The way my sister is treating me over this is starting to make me doubt her word.
In all the situation is escalating and becoming harder to manage. No matter how I tell my sister I have every right to a private relationship with her daughter, she does not stop and I am losing sleep.
How do I cope? Do I block her to try and get a break for myself? The people mentioned here are our only remaining family on that side, my husband has a large family we are close to. I hate the thought of my sister being alone apart from her husband who is not very sociable but my own mental health feels at risk. What should I do?
What words annoy you when used wrong or people don't know the meaning of?
