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Estrangement

Support and friendship for those whose lives have been affected by estrangement.

(109 Posts)
Hilltop Thu 07-May-26 22:24:28

Thank you, Smileless, for starting the new thread. I mostly lurk on here but l do appreciate the chats very much.
Seven years now that l have been estranged from my son. It will hurt for ever but will live my life as enjoyably as l can. I know the relationship will never get any better now.
With very best wishes to all on here.

crazyH Thu 07-May-26 19:11:57

Thankyou Allsorts

Allsorts Thu 07-May-26 18:50:45

Jaffacake, how lovely you came back and let us know how you are. I am so glad you received the help you needed and you have emerged stronger, long may it continue.
Crazy, glad you have got to a manageable period in your lufe after all the heartache.
I was estranged at that time, it was so painful and I could never trust my daughter again, she did damage that affected so many people. She is better living the life with her adopted family in it . ie.friends because as she said she chose them.

crazyH Thu 07-May-26 17:40:11

Thankyou Smileless and everyone else for their kind words and sound advice, over the years.
I came here 11 years ago, I think🤔 when I was struggling with family relationships. My heart aches even now, when I remember that horrible time. Things are ok but not perfect. As recently as February of this year , there were issues, not surprisingly with the same branch of the family.
Walking on eggshells is the name of the game.
Thankyou all xx

Jaffacake2 Thu 07-May-26 17:23:38

I would like to thank everyone on this thread who supported me 2 years ago. I was very ill with an inoperable brain condition and was subjected to abuse and threats of estrangement from my oldest daughter. It reached the point of me being seriously suicidal. I was referred to mental health and have been in therapy which has just finished.
Through this I have managed to distance myself from this daughter emotionally but still have contact due to the bond I have with my grandchildren.She recognises this and realised that they want me in their lives. I no longer feel that I need her validation for my life or that I should feel guilt for anything which she has deemed neglectful parenting. I am satisfied that throughout her life she has had unconditional love and care from me. Her father left when she was young and I have raised her and her younger sister alone.
I love her but don't like her due to the abuse I have received from her when I was at my most vulnerable in medical care.
Thank you ladies for your support through that difficult time. You are all special who deserve peace in your lives. Xx

Bridey Thu 07-May-26 15:26:38

Thank you for the new thread Smileless, its a lifeline to many of us.
Anybody know how to deter hoards of starlings pinching my blackbirds food? 😬!!!

Madgran77 Thu 07-May-26 15:11:42

Hi Everyone! Squirrels - chilli flakes (big bags in Sainsburys) sprinkled on my raised beds and pots seem to be putting them off. I literally lost every tulip bulb last year to the local Squirrel Nutkins! 🙄

Yoginimeisje Thu 07-May-26 09:36:37

Well done again Smiles in opening the new thread, how many are we at now?

Enjoy your friends coming for lunch Smiles it will take your mind off your loss and cheer you up a bit.

Allsorts Had all the feral pigeons in my garden this morning as I put out some bird food, I put it out for 'snow white' the white pigeon that I love and her babies. Still put it down, asking where SW was, felt bad not to as they seemed very hungry.

I have 2 regular squirrels in my garden; onenut & twonut, called this as this is how many monkey nuts they can get in their little mouths smile.

Have a nice day everyone. Voting day today, so I have the evening off.

Smileless2012 Thu 07-May-26 08:38:58

For those of us who've been living with estrangement for sometime and in many cases for years, we know how important this thread is.

The friendships we have made are our constant companions as we continue our journeys through our lives without the ones we have lost due to estrangement.

We have learned from one another that our estrangements don't define us and our desire to keep this thread going is as much for those who may not have posted before and maybe at the beginning of their estrangement, as it is for those of us who've been posting for sometime.

Our dear friend Babs posted the following several months ago and because it encapsulates so perfectly what we strive to achieve, I wrote it down for the OP of the next thread.

"We give advice in a calm and collected manner because we are removed from this storm, but when you are in it you cling to anything you think will get through to your child".

Thank you Babs for your wise and insightful words.