Estranged daughter and my will

Norah posted I assumed no third party would ever be involved and then went on to explain why she's made that assumption VS.

No idea why you read it as wouldn't/didn't assume.

I read that as wouldn't/didn't assume

Assume is when you believe something without knowing it as a certain fact right?

Why would you assume that estrangement is never due to the influence of a third party Norah just because that wasn't the case with your s's.i.l.?

There have been numerous cases here on GN over the years where this has been the case.

Perhaps apostrophe lessons would help me--

No it isn't a strange thought Hilltop. There have been numerous examples over the years where estrangement has been caused by a third party.

I assumed no third party would be involved, ever.

Reason is -- I've been asked if our daughters husbands had estranged because of our lovely daughters - no, our sils were estranged early, University, before our daughters married. I've been asked if we considered meddling in estrangements. Not for a moment. None of our business.

Some people don't have a thick skin like me

I will always address unnecessary personal comments

People need to understand that just isn't ok and they are talking to another real human being

Maybe try not to take things personally?

I don't agree I have done that, I'm just talking and defending more often than I should need to

Just like this response I defending myself

It's a shame really, I often feel unwelcome on this topic, thankfully not most others

VioletSky

User138562

I can think of much worse stressors than estrangement. For example, prolonged abuse from a loved one is worse than estrangement.

This is the comment that I later commented on and I then quoted the comment made by another poster, quoted by yourself that brought about this reply

Perhaps that has caused you some confusion Smileless because you never needed to argue with me at all

It does make it rather difficult to engage at times

But I am glad you are happy to let it go now

Thank you

I’m sure you’re aware that you are often being provocative VS, and pushing things in the direction of argument. It distracts from the subject under discussion.

In your comment above there’s not a single reference to the OP’s situation.

That's your perspective, not mine

I only answered you

The only thing that confuses me VS is that you say you don't want to argue, but continue to try and pick an argument with me.

User138562

I can think of much worse stressors than estrangement. For example, prolonged abuse from a loved one is worse than estrangement.

This is the comment that I later commented on and I then quoted the comment made by another poster, quoted by yourself that brought about this reply

Perhaps that has caused you some confusion Smileless because you never needed to argue with me at all

It does make it rather difficult to engage at times

But I am glad you are happy to let it go now

Thank you

Nothing further need be said spot on VS.

Smileless There is really no need

We agree that someone's worst stress is their worst stress and that it is not a competition

Nothing further need be said. The comments I was responding too are still in place and I reserve my right to address them with my own views from my own perspective

If I disagree with what someone says, I will say so VS as do you.

No it isn't a strange thought Hilltop. There have been numerous examples over the years where estrangement has been caused by a third party.

Hilltop

Norah, Not a strange thought . When estrangement was happening, l suggested they came to my home to collect
something. There is something here l know he would very much liked to have had, too big to post. I said perhaps we could try and mend bridges at the sametime. 'Perhaps' he emailed me back. (All done by email, would not phone). ' Is my wife welcome? ' 'Of course', I emailed . It wasn't mentioned again. They didn't come. I'm sure he would have come if she had agreed.
Also, we very very occasionally exchange emails still, some Christmases or some birthdays. I'm sure she doesn't know.

Lovely you're still in contact. Well done you!

Norah, Not a strange thought . When estrangement was happening, l suggested they came to my home to collect
something. There is something here l know he would very much liked to have had, too big to post. I said perhaps we could try and mend bridges at the sametime. 'Perhaps' he emailed me back. (All done by email, would not phone). ' Is my wife welcome? ' 'Of course', I emailed . It wasn't mentioned again. They didn't come. I'm sure he would have come if she had agreed.
Also, we very very occasionally exchange emails still, some Christmases or some birthdays. I'm sure she doesn't know.

Smileless

I think it is best this thread doesn't become another argument just because you don't like what I or others have to say

Thank you

For goodness sake, who has said your thoughts aren't valid here VS?

Don't really know what to say to that except my thoughts are valid here and always will be

We haven't finally agreed VS, we never disagreed and no one else has disagreed either.

You're the one who posted about comments being made by some that their pain is greater than someone else's, and despite me and I think 2 other posters saying this isn't the case you continue to refer to it.

As I said Smileless I am glad e could finally agree that stress and pain is personal and not measurable

Hilltop

I believe my DIL to be responsible for my estrangement from my ES. I do not want her to benefit from money l would have left to my ES. Some of it may then end up with her children who l don't even know.

Hilltop quite interesting, I don't remember anyone assuming an IL to be responsible to estrangement. Seems a strange thought, but everyone must do that which is OK for themselves.

Well done deciding!

Then stop going around in circles VS.

That was something we thought about too Hilltop, but the final decider for us was that it just wouldn't be appropriate for our ES to inherit from the parents he refuses to have contact with.

Inheritances are a gift - not a right I've always thought the same DL and don't understand why anyone would want or expect too inherit from someone they estranged.