The next thread for friendship, advice and support if estrangement has affected your life

So the post I thought I’d posted too soon, I clearly hadn’t!! It just said Smiles how like you I’d refused when our son offered to show us pictures of our estranged gc - nothing to be gained from it as we’d never be able know or enjoy the relationship. I also mentioned how little I now think about our EC and how I’d found that worrying. We are fortunate to have a kind and caring dil and it is her love I was referring to in the later post!

Sorry for the confusion!

anyone ever tried a sumo suit ?

Sorry - posted too soon (!) - but I was going to say her love although different has helped me cope with the loss of our EC. Of course I’d love a reconciliation but as others have said, I’m not sure how that can ever happen now. So I live grateful for what I have and accepting what may never be. To all those newly estranged I can only say I never believed the hurt in my heart would ease, but as time has passed, it has. I hope that’s a good thing.

hope you're ok Whiff.
i wonder if you could wrap yourself in a sumo suit, for added protection;
might impede movement though.
so maybe not.

Smiles like you I don't know if I would want to see photos of my 3 grandson's if I wasn't allowed contact as it would be cruel in my eyes. I still have the last photo of my son's eldest up. I know they won't look like they now . Because all 5 of my grandsons are close in age . Seeing my daughter's boys I can imagine what they get up to. Her eldest has grown again and now shoulder height to me I am 5' 2" is brother is above my waist. They are always taken for older because of their height.

At least you had a lovely long time talking to your son. I suppose he is also feeling his age and seeing friends with their children and with their grandparents. He may be feeling he is missing out.

I never knew my dad's parents his mom died when he was 3 and brother 18 months . His dad died few months after I was born. Never considered dad's stepmom as a nan after the way she and my dad's father treated him and his siblings.

Mom's parents where a big part of our life . Granddad died when I was 9 but I do remember things about him . My nan lived until she was 89 and saw most of her grandchildren married and saw her great-grandchildren. My husband could wrap my nan round his little finger.

I am glad my children had my parents as they spent many happy hours with them . And my mom got to see and hold her first great grandson.

Have parents and grandparents always been disposable and only noticed since it happened to me ?
Or is a sign of the last couple of decades!

Glad you had a lovely time with your friends. Unfortunately doesn't seem to be getting any warmer. So will be taking warm clothes with me on my hols. Can't believe it's 2 weeks today. When I booked the hotel in November it seemed ages away. But looking forward to it but know I will have to pace myself. Funny how I haven't missed not having a holiday before, but being very careful as I don't want any injuries as I don't want anything to stop me doing what I want once there.

Take care everyone .

Morning,
Grey and rainy here again!
Isn't it sad that we have these conversations with our children?, your son sounds very caring Smileless, and as you say it must be on his mind.
I totally understand your reluctance to see pictures of your estranged grandchildren, I used to roam and ruminate through the social sites for glances and pics, but took all these sites down many years back and stopped inflicting more pain on myself.
Pleased you had a lovely weekend 💐

Morning everyone.

A lovely day here yesterday but normal service has resumed with rain and grey skies.

We had a lovely evening with friends on Saturday and a long and touching face time chat with our DS, who talked of maybe one day meeting someone, getting married and having children. He said he would love to give us grandchildren and us having lost our only two, is never far from his mind .

He asked us if we would like him to send some photo's of the boys so we could see what they look like but we said no. It's the first time he's ever asked and said that he expected that to be our answer.

The situation with his brother seems to be playing on his mind at the moment; maybe because we're getting older. We did our best to reassure him that we're OK, that we've accepted that being grandparents just wasn't meant to be and that's something that we've gradually come to accept.

The estrangement is no longer the elephant in the room when we talk, and hasn't been for some time but it does and will continue to impact on his life as it does on ours.

I suppose now both of his grandmothers have died, he is the only one who is as affected by it as much as we are .

I’ve seen your little dog Smileless, he’s gorgeous. They give so much love. If I didn't have this garden sucking the life out of me I would get one, however he would be very spoilt as the way they look at you when there’s food about makes me feel cruel not giving it, so maybe it’s just as well. Plus I would need a garden to let him run about.

Madgran77

Yoginimeisje

Mowing my lawn

That made me laugh Yogin. I was pondering on how one moves a lawn ....although I suppose one of those "plastic" ones is movable!

Yes, Madgran thought I better correct it otherwise I'd have folk asking how to Move a lawn

Thanks Whiff & Smiles re Joey xx

Thanks Allsorts re Joey, yes, I really do love him to bits, he is such a loving doggie.

Allsorts enjoy your champagne, why not. When I moved here, I bought a nice bottle of champagne, opened once we had our fish & chip supper on our laps, my son doesn't drink, so he had just a small glass and guess who had the rest? Not all that night but over the weekend, I should have saved some for my DD when she visited.....Oops

The pictures of Smiles 'little man' is still there Allsorts page 34. The pictures didn't come out when I did the quote button.

Morning everyone.

Glad you're OK after your fall Whiff. It's amazing that despite the number of falls you've had, you've never broken anything; long may that continue.

This thread is better than any therapy, it's the only therapy I've ever needed Whiff and your 'rambles' are always welcome .

My little man is the last post on page 34 Allsorts. When threads move along quickly, it's easy to miss something. I hope you're enjoying your champagne. It's good to treat yourself and not often anyone gets an entire bottle to themselves.

Little Joey is gorgeous Yogin. He looks like a cheeky little chap, just like my little man who managed to get the end of his tail caught in some brambles yesterday in the area where our lodge is that is set aside for dogs, and you can let them off their leads.

His little desperate and confused face alerted us to his predicament and he was soon set free.

It was lovely and sunny when we arrived here yesterday, not so good this morning but we're food shopping and then I'll be busy as we have friends coming for a meal this evening.

I am fine from my fall. Been doing it my whole life. That's why we had well padded suite and I have thick underlay under my carpets. I even have a thick padding under my artificial lawn.

Funny enough I have never broken a bone. But slammed my leg just above my ankle bone when I fell out the kitchen door at my old house. My leg ulcerated and took 5 months to heal . I have a 4" long by 2" wide scar which is black . This was in 2013 my mom had her 2nd mastectomy so I moved in with her for 3 months we both had open wounds but I made sure neither of us got an infection.

Yogin Joey is lovely.

Allsorts enjoy the champagne be nice if you had a few chocolates to go with it.

This thread is better than any therapy. And it costs nothing. Plus I get to ramble on about any thing 🤣🤣🤣❤️

Yoginimeisje

Mowing my lawn

That made me laugh Yogin. I was pondering on how one moves a lawn ....although I suppose one of those "plastic" ones is movable!

Whiff, do hope you are ok after your fall.
Jaffa, glad I’m not part of mind games anymore, your daughter is selfish. I don’t think such people change. It’s hard if it’s your son or daughter as you don’t expect it.All you can do is let her get on with it on her own, tgey bring you down.
I love your little dog Yoga, can understand why you live him so much, afraid I didn’t see Smileless’s dogs as I guess they were not up long.
Been very naughty, I had a bottle of champagne from my birthday last year so I decided on a whim to have it myself, I should have drank it with people and then I thought why shouldn’t I treat myself. I will have two glasses and it will last a couple of days. It’s not like me to do that as I don’t like drinking so much at home. Hope I haven’t become a rebel.

Mowing my lawn

Sorry to hear about your fall Whiff. You do well with your fitness class & crafts. Good job you had that carpet cleaner handy, I use mine quite a bit too

Yes DL I find my therapy here on this thread. Lots of advice, sympathy and kindness from those in the same sad boat. Thank you all

Have a nice day everyone, if you can in this rotten weather again!

Rotten day! I was going to have a nice walk in the park this morning followed by moving my lawn and tiding up the garden, I was looking forward to doing my garden!

Jaffacake so sorry to read your sad post. Hope you are feeling a bit better today. It was good of you to look after your D's cat & send flowers & card for her b/day.

Made me feel sad to read your post as it makes you realise that even if you get reconciliation, you're not home and dry, you still have to be careful.

11yrs for me, so sad, to lose a DD for no reason other than spousal Jealousy and brainwashing . Lost my beautiful GC too Too late to correct

Smileless2012

No it's a Yak Cheese chew Bridie, sounds revolting but both of our dogs love them.

Never heard of those Smiles. My Joey loves his Dentex stick he has after dinner; it cleans his teeth. He loves it so much he stands on his back legs and can do a little twirl, gives me his paw and gets his treat! I buy the biggest box for large dogs, then cut it in half, otherwise it would be too much for him, it then works out as half the price as if I were to buy the small dog pack.

My little Joey

Smileless2012

My little man

Gorgeous!

Smileless2012

Ah yes DL, the 'new' posters who often appear at the first sign of any discord and it always fascinates me how many are 'long term lurkers, who have never posted before' .

Yes, it is. I’ve never really lurked on forums. Either post, or don’t.

Mind you, I am lurking indoors at the moment - my kitchen sink has blocked, and has ignored all my efforts to clear it with the usual stuff, or a plunger.🙄

So, I surrendered - and phoned up my long suffering SIL and whined at him lol

He’s coming round later to sort it out for me.🙂