Friendship,advice and support if estrangement has affected your life.

That's great news hugshelp .

Thank you everyone for wise words my son had explained my illness to my gd and they have bought books explaining anxiety so I know she was well up to speed. She misses me terribly I write to her and she writes back. I dont understand what my son thinks I'm going to he has always said I can come up whenever I want to and so I didnt know the rules had changed also he wouldnt let my husband in either and theres nothing wrong with him.in the past my daughter in law fell out with her own family which I could never truly understand this feels the same my confidence has been shot to be honest I dont think I can contact him just yet it all seems a bit passive aggressive which I cant abide

You say your husband was 'white with anger' I'm sorry but I wouldn't of let him in either with my 6 year old in the house.

You were very ill, you had to be sectioned and cut off contact with everyone to get better which is absolutely understandable. You needed to get better.

But your son had to get his head around that and put on a brave face around his family. I'm guessing he had to explain to where Nanny had gone too.

My children know I have anxiety but that's the tip of the iceberg but that's enough for them to know, they are children, the last thing parents want is their children upset or worrying which then causes them anxiety and its a vicious circle..

Your son didn't know what state you was, how your anxiety is, the panic attacks etc, he didn't have time to prepare himself or his child.
Panic attacks are horrific for people having them and not nice to witness, especially for a child.
I don't think the rules have changed but to your granddaughter, you disappeared for weeks with no contact and she's worrying about her fairy garden. She deserved a bit of a heads up.
Only phone contact for 6 weeks then a surprise visit is a shock...then
ad in a very angry man, no I don't blame him for not letting you both in.

Lick your wounds but please don't let this ruin your relationship with your son.

Well if the rules have been changed and you can no longer go whenever you want too, I assume that means with no prior warning or invitation, it's a shame he didn't tell you May as this upsetting incident could so easily have been avoided.

FWIW I think that taking a step back, and not initiating contact for the time being is the best approach for you, as you continue to get well and take time to digest what's happened.

Yes Smileless I agree just have to wait it out
I've sent WhatsApp voicemail to grandaughter on dil phone which is what I usually do but she hasn't read it so looks like shes freezing me out too

They probably are busy May, don’t read more into it. If you can step back for a couple of weeks the situation could well improve. He wants to wait until you’re feeling better that’s why he doesn’t want you popping in. It’s his way of coping but not what you want I know.

Mr. S. and I have just tested positive for Covid!! Feeling pretty rough so hoping we don't end up feeling any worse.

Oh no keep drinking plenty of water and rest up. Sending you a hug

Thanks May .

Smileless2012

Mr. S. and I have just tested positive for Covid!! Feeling pretty rough so hoping we don't end up feeling any worse.

Hope you both get well soon. ?

Oh no, Smiles. Hope you both get well soon ?❤️

Sorry to hear that Smileless - have a good old cuddle on the sofa in front of TV and I hope you feel better soon

May7

Your son may be doing damage control with his family after what happened, like he should be.

No parent should or have to explain to such a young child what anxiety means or what issues grandma has - too much responsibility on such a young person.

Sorry to say your anxiety is not under control and you are not doing that well if you have another attack after the surprise visit

You still have to do lots of work on your end to get better and win their trust again

It may take longer than you would like but
It is up to them to establish that timeline.

Please give them all the space they need. I would wait for them to contact you again.

Your gd loves you and misses you but she deserves to be a child first. Please give her that chance.

If you’re fully vaccinated I’m sure it will be mild and you will soon be on full form, I know I was.Sending you lots of love, Smileless

Good grief Hithere panic attacks cannot be regulated and controlled and May having one following the encounter with her son does not mean her recovery isn't going well. What an insensitive thing to say.

I got my first panic attack when we were estranged 9.5 years ago and can still get them from time to time.

Thanks everyone for your 'get well' messages .

Hithere has given you some good advice May7. Focus on your recovery for now, I am sure things will be clearer when you feel better.

Hope you feel better soon Smileless

I do know what you are saying hithere but I am recovering well. The panic attack on the way home was in response to my sons unkindness to me.my husband was white with anger but he contained it and never raised his voice. I have protected my grandchildren from my illness by writing to them and only facetimingvthem when I could keep my panic under control. I protected my family as well they never witnessed the hell me and my husband went through. My son chose to educate his daughter about anxiety which I believe was the right thing to do.she understands how ill ive been and az a family we are usually very truthful with each other am goingvto leavecthem alone and continue to write to my granddaughter but thank you for your input * Violetsky* thank you

May7

I commend you in your progress so far, however medication is not a bandaid you can use and go back to family relationships as they were before

I think you are in denial how this has affected your son and his family - you and your dh are not the only ones who are going through this journey

Your son, as he told you, is protecting his family, not being unkind by his actions to you

If you are afraid of having panic attacks and depression - you have a long road ahead of you.
Plenty of us have been there done and are now able to control, mitigate or even eliminate panic attacks

You ask how you can show your son you improved
Your primary goal is your health, not them, visits, facetimings, communications to your gc, etc
Once you improve, your son will very much see it - constant communication with his family is not needed for this

Best of luck and I know you will live without fear of anxiety and depression in the future.

Commend you for, not in

'My son chose to educate his daughter about anxiety which I believe was the right thing to do.'

1000% agree.
Mental health is nothing to be ashamed of and it's really good to talk to children about it especially at a young ago.
Panic attacks are a flight or fight response to your body going into panic. It was her body not handling a situation well.

You can't choose when you have them. If only!!

Hope it's not too severe smiles. Wishing you both a speedy recovery.

I agree that explaining to children about anxiety and other mental health issues is a very valuable way to deal with them. Important for the self-esteem of the children themselves if they grow up and find themselves suffering, and valuable in fighting the stigma that we all know is prevlaant.

Hope you and Mr S are able to rest well Smileless. May, so sorry to hear about your upsetting time, but hope you can recover your peace and continue to get well. That is the most important thing. Well done those of you moving - I look forward to hearing more from you all about how it goes. Lovely visit yesterday with a non estranged child. Always leaves me wondering why/how is so different with our EC. Not sure will ever really know, is something we can’t change, so we have to accept it. Loving the warmer weather, but makes gardening hard work! I have roof terrace envy Smileless!

Where is Whiff? You are missed. Hope you and Mr S ok Smileless.

Morning everyone. Whiff said she would busy as she had a friend staying Allsorts so I'm sure that's the reason we've not heard from her.

Well a roof terrace certainly cuts down on gardening Spring with just pots and baskets to see too and it's still possible to get a beautiful display.

I agree PoppyBlue and hugshlep much better to be open and honest and explain to a little girl as best you can, why the GM she loves isn't there.

It was her body not handling a situation well. You can't choose when you have them. If only!! exactly PoppyBlue.

Feeling crap this morning so another day of drinking water, sleeping and watching Netflx in between.

Well a weekend of two halves for me.

Saturday. My buyer dropped out, EA went back to the reserve buyers and they are still keen, so ? I still have a sale, will know more today.

I actually prefer the second set of buyers, they were a nice family. First buyer was a BTL investor and I had my doubts. I don't really see this house as a BTL property. Anyway.......Que Sera and all that.

Yesterday, Took the bull by the horns and booked a cruise? New year 2023. I know it's a long way off and hopefully I will be having a holiday before then but it was such a good deal it would have been rude not to. Lol. So I decided to be decisive and just booked it. A very small holding deposit.

Chucking it down with rain, glad I mowed the lawn yesterday.

Smiles......look after yourself and enjoy Netflix.

I have just started watching "Bodies". Written by Jed (Line of Duty) Mercurio. Medical drama. It's brutal but compelling, he's a great writer and if I'm not mistaken he has a medical background so it does seem very authentic.

I was riveted by "Line of Duty" and I'm finding "Bodies" just as binge worthy. Not for the squeamish though.