Domestic Violence from kids to parents

i am concerned that Daisy seemed to suggest that she had not been helped by the police in the past.
that may put her off trying to reach out to get help.
i hope she will try. there are others she can approach.
also if she is being actually being threatened or assaulted she can ring 999 from a mobile and then press 55, to indicate that she cannot talk.
help will be sent.
i hope she can come back on here to let us know how she is.
good luck daisy.
there is more information in this link,
www.itv.com/thismorning/articles/domestic-violence-helplines

Wow. This post has stirred up so much bad feeling )so sorry!) and probably triggered so many people. I was feeling like I never should have posted it- and then I saw your comment @DaisySweetDream and it's made it worth it. I am happy to take any flak if it helps one person to find help. Please, please, please phone a helpline. There are women's charities like Refuge that can give you specialised help and support.

@HolyHannah re your question "Is it your view/belief/perspective that a child who "refuses to engage with CAMHS" (or any other agency) are somehow to blame for their situation/continued abuse?"

No! That was not what I meant at all. I am not blaming them, but in the UK they don't always manage to work with children because the children do not want to engage and they do not force it on them or that would cause more trauma. That is what I meant. Hope this clears up any misunderstanding.

Daisy

Re your post yesterday @ 19.24 Chewbacca there was a news report last week that the number of calls from men suffering domestic abuse has risen by 60%.

One can only imagine how terrible is must be for all in this situation especially with more stringent lock down measures in certain areas.

Thank you starblaze - some helpful thoughts there and I hope there's a chance GN can help.

Gransnet made suggestions of resources to me when I was struggling rosecarmel so I'm hopeful that even if they can't breach data protection or get involved directly, they can at least pass on information

Or maybe someone could report her comment to gransnet who may be able to contact her with information or help.

Please share how gransnet responds to your request- I contacted them in the past when a member expressed that they were suicidal- The response I received was that legally their hands are tied, in so many words-

It seems in the US there's more latitude in such areas, that administrators can contact authorities and take life preserving, protective measures-

hugshelp it's

[email protected]

I tried to find a specific email for reporting online and couldn't but if Daisy is able reach out online again as she did here, I am sure one of these organisations will assist via email.

It may not be a good idea for *Dakisy to start her own thread if she may be watched and perhaps actually we shouldn't draw too much attention in case she is monitored and son reads through her "I'm on" list. She may not even be able to come back.

Another avenue would be to pass a note to someone at a doctors surgery or elsewhere asking for help and giving information that a third party can report to police. Or maybe someone could report her comment to gransnet who may be able to contact her with information or help. Actually, now I have thought of that possibility I will do so now.

Hopefully there is enough info there.

Thank you to those who kindly sorted out the minor blip - no worries, I'm forever mucking up on here.

Daisy - I hope you're ok, and won't be put off talking to us some more when you are able.

Just bringing down a couple of the useful emails others have provided in case you can use them but don't have time to go hunting

[email protected]

Silverline was started by Esther Rantzen, in 2013, and at the moment is esp reaching out to people who feel isolated.
www.thesilverline.org.uk/
0800 4 70 80 90

there is also Action on Elder Abuse, which for some reason now calls itself Hourglass, confusingly to me.
wearehourglass.org/
HelpLine 0808 808 8141

Sorry starblaze I don't know how to bring your info down, and can't read it, I'm guessing it was done on a mobile and I'm afraid I can't see to use mobile devices.

Can I please suggest we keep the help info on this thread prominent atm and if I've missed any sorry, could those who shared it earlier add it. xx

My apologies to hugshelp on the misquote.

Iam64 -- Thank you for correcting Me.

"It's clear from HolyHannah's response to my criticism of 'Karen' as a term of abuse, that my comment reminded me of her mother. The fact I may have made a comment here that caused you to think of your mother doesn't mean I did that intentionally, or that I seek to deny or minimise your experiences." -- That is still a very troubling statement regardless of who said it.

I hope so too Sparkling because there are posters "driven away" having come to GN and especially the estrangement threads looking for help and support.

Actually that came out wrong, it should probably be "is autistic" because autism is something people are, not have really, it's not a cold.

Sparkling

Simple difference, some listen when Holyhannah explains she has autism and are able to make allowances in comnunucation, not just for people with autism either. We all have different ways of communicating, showing empathy and being supportive. All valid.

Looking for hidden meaning in comments is a pointless exercise, you are right there. So why do it?

Most people don't intend hidden meaning, why does it occur to you it may be there if that isn't something you do yourself?

A mistake has been made and pointed out. Its not a big deal. I'm sure hugshelp will be her usual kind and understanding self.

Hugshelp, Your post was supportive about the subject posted. Holyhannah, I find looking for hidden meanings in your every sentence pointless and tedious, that is why I don’t respond, others that do, if not endorcing your views are responded to with sarcasm. I hope that it doesn’t drive away posters that need support and advice if possible on such a terrible crime such as adult violence against elderly parents.

Starblaze

That's good because I thought that didn't sound at all like hugshelp

Same.

That's good because I thought that didn't sound at all like hugshelp

Iam64?

HolyHannah, I think you'll find I made that comment, not hugshelp. I could have worded it more clearly but I expect that isn't your problem with my post.

hugshelp -- "It's clear from HolyHannah's response to my criticism of 'Karen' as a term of abuse, that my comment reminded me of her mother. The fact I may have made a comment here that caused you to think of your mother doesn't mean I did that intentionally, or that I seek to deny or minimise your experiences."

There's a lot wrong in that short quote...

dear Daisy, thank you fr reaching out.
this situation is far too common, though often hidden.
there is help out there.
does your son live with you.
if not please asap make phone calls.
to you GP doc tomorrow. say it's urgent. you need a call back. tell him her what you have written here.

40 year ago women's groups were organising for eg women's refuge/support for parents. Sadly progress made has been devastated in recent years.

This so relevant Iam64. Even before the COVID pandemic, our mental health services were massively underfunded and under resourced. Since then, millions of people have been forced into a far more isolated and solitary lifestyle leading to huge increases in all types of domestic violence and mental ill health . None of our recent governments has taken mental health care seriously, especially the present incumbents.

well said Namsnanny

I'm just trying to draw attention to someone who needs it

Thank you Fanny I agree.

A nervous vulnerable person has reached out, it wont help her or anyone like her if they feel like they are jumping into a private argument here.

Daisy ... here is another email address you may be able to access, especially if you cant use the phone.

[email protected]

Please try to contact someone.