PetitFromage said -- Hannah, my dear, it is obvious from your threads and your posts that you are in a lot of pain. Families can be complicated and the scars can run deep and be difficult to heal, whether you are an EP or an EAC.
I don't have any answers, but I do believe that forgiveness is better for your own peace of mind, if you can manage it - and I know that it is not always easy.
I don't know your circumstances but, please, if the past has been miserable, don't let it spoil your future too. Try to come to terms with what is, or what has been, and set yourself free.
Perception can view this comment two ways...
It is a genuine attempt to comfort and sound caring.
OR
The other perception, when hearing the opener of "Hannah, my dear..." is to think anything that follows might be condescending/biased and/or inaccurate.
"it is obvious from your threads and your posts that you are in a lot of pain." -- I am not 'in pain' the way I was before getting healthy.
"if the past has been miserable, don't let it spoil your future too. Try to come to terms with what is, or what has been, and set yourself free." -- I've already done all that.
"I do believe that forgiveness is better for your own peace of mind, if you can manage it..." Forgiveness is good under the right circumstances, but your mention of "if you can manage it" could be construed as you saying I am not able to 'forgive' when it's appropriate.
I grew up in a 'home' where true forgiveness never happened because those demanding the apologies were the abuser(s) looking for absolution. And as much as I was the perfect little Scapegoat child, I couldn't 'forgive' my mom's abuse ENOUGH to make her feel 'good' about HER.