*SUPPORT* for all who are living with estrangement

Hugshelp ...wishing you well, glad you popped in. [Flowers]

I'd like to wish smileless non voyage too. I hope the time spent with her son helps to heal some of the hurt.

Too all the other gran who are estranged I wish you all that you wish yourselves this new year.

Thanks Yoga and others for your kind remarks. I am still a work in progress but feeling much more positive with the new year. When I drift off into negative feelings I try to close them down or time limit them or distract myself by doing something - listening to a thriller on Audible is good because you realise that you miss clues if you don't concentrate.

Hope you are feeling better hugs

Bon voyage Smileless!!

Thanks Starlady. We got out walking today in the country and met up with friends. Have taken the Christmas tree down as well today and feel better for seeing the back of it!

'Happy New Year' Yogagirl. We fly on Monday and of course I can hardly wait.

PetitFromage Fri 27-Dec-19 07:39:06 Very good post Petit and I agree with you. If it had been just my daughter closing the door, I would have walked away and waited for her to come back, but my grandchildren I couldn't walk away from.

Hope you are having a fantastic time in Oz with your DS Smileless

Thanks to everyone for your good wishes on my estS's return

Yes, those would be some examples of current issues, too, Sparkly, though, as you can see, I posted that comment on the wrong thread, LOL!

Now back to this thread...

"We're getting organised for our trip to Aus. to see our DS for 3 wonderful weeks. This time next week we'll be on the plane and on our way."

So happy for you and Mr. S., Smileless! And how wonderful that you are taking DS to Margaret River! Enjoy the extended visit - and DS' good cooking!

Glad you enjoyed your evening our w/ your friends, too.

Sorry if things are "too quite" now that your DS and GC have left, love, but glad you got to spend time w/ them!

And sorry you weren't feeling well when you posted, hugshelp. Hope you're feeling much better now.

Love the wise words, PF! Hope everyone had a good New Year and find peace and happiness in 2020!

Oops! Sorry! My last two posts are in the wrong thread. They were intended for the "Why you might be estranged thread." I'll c & p them there now.

Starlady I agree about current issues, of which there could be many versions, over which we EGPs have no control. Such as;

Resources issue. As in, new DiL thinking is they remain in contact, MIL will take up resources she the DiL would rather have.

Relationship quality between AC and their spouse/partner.

Power and control, some people thrive on having people dangle under their control. Throw love in and the need to remain in contact with AC, and it’s dynamite.

Anyway, just a few thoughts.

I loved Butterflies too

"That's why it's so awful to be told I am horrible for going NC."

Ok, I'm a little confused, Yennifer. Since you let one of your DDs spend time w/ your parents recently, it seems you haven't really gone NC. Not totally, anyhow.

Also, you tell us your parents were "abusive." So what has changed? What made you feel ok about letting your 14-year-old stay w/ them?

Regardless, I'm sorry your mum doesn't understand "baby steps." I hope you are able to set and enforce limits, anyhow.

"There is this general feeling of "I was a great mother"..."

Yennifer, I think a common mistake is for EPs to assume their EAC has cut them off b/c if issues from the past. But often, it's b/c of recent issues, such as not respecting the EAC as an adult and/or a parent. So maybe the EP was a "great mother" when their ES or ED was growing up, but then the relationship soured. (I realize some EAC have told their EPs that they were "bad parents" which is a different matter.)

hugshelp sorry you're not feeling well, hope you soon feel better x

I used to love butterflies. Not too well atm so just popping my head in and waving, wishing you all good things for the year to come.

I most certainly do remember Butterflies! loved it. I have watched the repeats as well.

Does anyone remember Carla Lane's 'Butterflies'? One of my Christmas presents from Mr. S. was the complete series and as he's out at the moment, I'm watching it and having a really good laugh.

That's a lovely New Years wish Pantglas, thank you.

That's lovely PF, thanks for sharing.

I totally agree SparklyGrandma, all the decorations have been put away and I'm just having a break from cleaning the house. It's nice to get back to normal, well our 'normal' anyway.

'Happy New Year' Love0c and lavenderzen

There’s a thread about how the last decade has been and although I haven’t posted on there, I thought I’d post here instead. I was still estranged from my DD at the beginning and have now been reconciled for longer than the estrangement - so my New Years wish for you all is don’t give up hope that things can change for the better with goodwill on all sides.

To Smileless and all - wishing you a Happy New Year with hope and peace for 2020

Pf thank you so much for your posting. I will really try to do as it says. Feeling very negative at the moment. However, I am really going to try. It sounds so logical so why have I always found it so hard to do? This time I will succeed. Hope everyone out there feeling the same will do this.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Smileless so glad it’s all over now, back to normal life.

Or normal life, with estrangement in the background.

I know people have differing views about psychics but I do consult them from time to time, and have often found that they can provide comfort and clarity in my own feelings (even if I don't expect all of the predictions to come true). Anyway, yesterday I thought I would end the decade by seeking a short reading and here are some words which I wanted to share with you, as they resonate with me -

"Allow and let go and this situation will unfold naturally in time....Let go of struggle, anger and unforgiveness...Trust that the universe is on your side... Once you let go of worry you automatically open supportive doors that will bring solutions which will exceed your expectations."

I thought this was a positive message and advice to start off 2020, which I intend to follow. I will try to let go of 'self', to release feelings of anger and worry, and to be more philosophical in accepting that some things just need to run their course. Forgiveness and acceptance leads to increased love and peace of mind, and the ability to focus outwards rather than inwards. There are so many wonderful things to embrace in life and I wish good things for all of my friends on here, both in the coming year and all of the ones thereafter.

Happy New Year everyone!

Thank you Namsnanny; cheers.

Same to you Madgran
love0c … I'm going to turn the tv up loudly to drown out the fireworks from all the other parties around!

I dislike New Years eve anyway, too much fake camaraderie, but I like a party if I'm ever invited (not for many a long year)

Cant go to bed early because I will only toss and turn, so I'll be up at midnight with a glass of something (maybe just milk I don't know yet! ).
Wishing you all a Happy and trouble free (relatively) 2020!
Cheers!

Have a lovely evening Smileless we'll all be thinking of you on Monday winging your way to Aus.
Happy New Year to your son and husband too.

Happy New Year everyone