The Gransnet Panto

I think they're lurking in their shed,
Behind, you, look! I see a head.
It's Pompa trying to get away
Dressed up as Santa on his sleigh.

Let's root them out and then they may
Be handsome princes for just one day.
I will wildly wave my wand and then
We'll have lots of lovely men.

Oh em do you mean
those old men who were very keen
twas only the other day
that you and I got into a fray
with an old gramp
who we shoved down a ramp
he might have been keen
but we were too mean
Ariadne please
can you find some boys with ease
we need at least ten
better still if they were men
this time we will be sure
we don't show them to the door.

I've been waving my wand as hard as I can,
But still haven't found a lovely young man.

In pantos of yore all the princes were girls
Wearing very long boots and shorn of their curls.

But long shiny boots wouldn't go past my knees
Who's got long slim legs? Do tell us, please!

Then we could do without men to act in our show
We can do it all, as you very well know!

No! I wanna dance. Pumpkins can't dance.

I've got the giggles now - just in the middle of composing a panto rap, which I'll post tomorrow. If my children saw what I am up to they would put me in a home!

But isn't it fun?

How is the can-can routine going? Is it challenging enough? How long is the chorus line now? Does someone need to start making costumes or have we all got our own garters and frilly skirts?

If we are doing an authentic can-can we don't need knickers so that is one expense avoided.

Elegran

Have I got a part yet?

Are there musicians out there? I can't recall anyone saying they would play the piano or drums. How will the audience know when to start booing just as the Ugly Sisters are about to appear?

I volunteer in the local theatre wardrobe so can provide most outfits -

Feather boas in brilliant hues
Thigh-high boots and sparkling shoes
A showgirl headdress, a fairy frock
Come to the wardrobe door and knock.
No problem, girls with shape or size
Because before your very eyes
I know the spell, I do I think!
To 8's and 10's we all will shrink!!!

Many, many years ago I used to do percussion and timpani in the Saturday Morning Youth Orchestra?

I don't actually own any percussion instruments, and, lets face it a full set of timpani takes up a heck off a lot of space, but I do have a full set of saucepans and a couple of spatulas?

I can play the spoons. I used to be able to get a sound out of a comb with a piece of Izal toilet paper wrapped round it but now everything is soft and gentle - no more playing the comb

Re-ee-peat fo -ur times on ei-ther side
Re-ee-peat fo -ur times on ei-ther side
Re-ee-peat fo -ur times on ei-ther side
Re-ee-peat fo -ur times on ei-ther side...can I stop practising now?

yogagran Try greaseproof paper.

Oooh yes, I'll go and practice now, thanks elegran

Errm, I am actually currently a size 10/12.
I have long over the knee boots. I am happy to do a bit of thigh slapping, even my own.

My DH loves my singing. (he is currently trying to persuade me to sing "The Rose" at our Racing Club Christmas get together tomorrow) Can I have a part?

Yes you can stop Oxon70. That is excellent. How are the splits and the leg past the ear?

Phoenix a bit of thigh slapping, that's the stuff!

Once when I was a young science teacher i worked in a boys comp. I had a lovely time doing the makeup making all those 16 year old boys look like gorgeous girls! I had not thought about that for years. But if you need someone to do the makeup I think I could rise to the challenge.

Lift right foot, extend leg past ear, still holding foot and turn three times on spot Tada tada tada tada
Repeat with right leg Tada tada tada tada....and again

Oh dear.

..........anybody got any elastic?

Sounds like Phoenix for Principal Boy then - Prince Charming! (Won't ask why/where you acquired the boots).

I was reading your post Oxon70 just after Mamie told you you could stop practising. I had a chuckle imaging you dancing for eight hours waiting for someone to give you permission.