I can only echo what the others said Doodle, especially Cherry's last post. You've proved just how strong you are helping and caring for Mr D. Now it's time to care for yourself. I'm sure Mr D knows you will be fine, the same as my Best Beloved did and assured me all the time. But it is hard. Surreal. Amputated. Learning to cope as half the whole you once were. But, you are, as I am, fortunate in having loving neighbours, friends and offspring to surround you with love and support. Big girls pants and all that. We are all strong women.
I have of late, been looking at photos of the life we had and what we achieved and the joys we had together. And putting those last dark days away in a box. Perhaps I shall open the box again sometimes, but briefly. I know the box is there, and I will carry it with me always, but right now, it's firmly shut. Right now I have to learn to live a new life. One that means finding out how the hell to get the drill bit out of the drill. I got it in and made the holes, but how the hell to remove it?
I had to take the Camperbubble to Yarmouth (Great Yarmouth that is )from where I bought it to have the air suspension pumped up. So I thought I'd book in for a night at a campsite overlooking the beach in Kessingland. A lovely couple of days and just the distraction I needed. Kira enjoyed it too. The weekend after next I'll be scattering BB's ashes on the Broad. I'd been getting concerned at not hearing from the people at the Museum of the Broads about the boat. They are short staffed. But this evening the wonderful volunteer who's taking us out emailed. I shall ring him in the morning. Bless him.
I hope you do hear about your op tomorrow Doodles. Focus on it and getting fit and mentally strong for it. All will be well.