Worried about looking after Grandchild after isolating for a year

I think your DD needs to make alternative arrangements. From what you have said, this is far too much responsibility for you at your age and in poor health.

Your DD also needs to find out why her daughter is so troubled.
I would not dream of going away for weeks if my daughter was suffering so much - can she change her job and look after her daughter properly, seek help for the poor girl?
Is the father on the scene?

sounds stressful and therefore not good for your health generally.
it's not your responsibility to work this out for your daughter.
are there no other relatives, what about the child's father/ other GM.
i don't think you should do it. hard enough with an average teenager, at your age, and with your health conditions, let alone a difficult one.
for months at a time? anything could go wrong. don't do it.
just say no.

Thank you for your help. Other Grand Parents uninterested and a mostly absent father. I am hoping against hope that he will step up.

I understand you want to help , but this is a very tall order. Clearly your granddaughter has problems , even an easy child would be a big responsibility for you . I have to say I think for you at 76 and with your asthma to manage this is simply too much . Please look after your own wellbeing, it is difficult for your daughter too but you would be wise to say no. Not an easy situation for you ! Good luck.

so has this situation been going on for a while, pre covid, with her mother farming out the daughter while she works.
could there be a connection.
child feels abandoned. becomes rebellious. ??
anyway, making yourself ill over it will not solve the situation.
maybe your daughter needs to look for other work.
don't take on this burden. you could be crushed by it. and then blamed when if it all goes wrong.

Truanting and self-harming are a teenager's cry for help. I would be very reluctant if I were in your shoes. You have to look after Number 1 sometimes. Take care.

Are you in the UK? How is granddaughter getting on at school? Sounds to me as if she needs to refer this to her GP and ask for a CAMHS referral (I know because this is my job) this young woman needs more help than you can give and there are professionals out there who can help.

Thank you all very much for your messages and your moral support which is making such a difference to me. I don't think that I should take the risk. I will have to tell her tomorrow and I know it is right for me but I will still feel I'm letting her down.

keepingquiet

Are you in the UK? How is granddaughter getting on at school? Sounds to me as if she needs to refer this to her GP and ask for a CAMHS referral (I know because this is my job) this young woman needs more help than you can give and there are professionals out there who can help.

Yes she has been referred to the GP and CAMHS. We are waiting.

I wonder why this has now come to a head? How has your daughter been coping with childcare during your self isolating?
Her employers should also have a duty of care and I would question the “staying at their house for weeks at a time while they are away” what is her role? She can’t be expected to be on duty 24/7 and even if she is required to stay overnight, must be allowed reasonable time off, ie pre and post school hours.
Apart from yourself the important person in this family is your granddaughter and if your daughter doesn’t want her to be taken into care, she needs to sort out her priorities. She is lucky to have you and should be caring for you, not the other way around. Take care and, if you are stressed out about this, do talk to your gp. Good Luck