Not included in DS/DIL & GS Christmas bubble

Enjoy your Christmas with your OH, ignore all the previous messages and conversations with your DS etc and don't mention the subject again. Let DS do the running now. Watch and wait, they'll need you before long.
Stay safe and have a good Christmas, after all, it's only one day ?‍♀️

I would be disappointed too, so I can understand. I don’t think it’s worth heated words and a disagreement which could make things worse. Your son probably feels torn between you and his wife/in-laws. Keep the peace and look forward to a better year next year.

Dinahmo

I think that the media has a lot to be blamed for over the fuss/worry about Christmas. There are regular items on the daily chat shows about people not being able to see all their family. I understand that if someone is on their own at home it could be upsetting for them but for those who have a spouse/partner then it could be enjoyable for them to do/eat/drink/watch exactly what they chose.

It's just a few days in an horrible year and the sooner we get safely into 2021 the better. With a bit of luck we can have all the celebrations that we want.

Yes I agree about the media.

I think I wouldn't mind so much if they could come here boxing day as they have done before when seeing DIL family but I do feel like the left behind old people on the age concern adverts!

Smileless2012

Arrangements have been made so I'm afraid no amount of pushing will make things any better and anymore pushing could make the situation worse.

I understand you're being upset grannylancs but Christmas often does leave some family members feeling left out but there's always next year and you wont be spending Christmas alone if you spend it with your mum.

I suspect the comment about you visiting last year with the start of a cold was more to do with reacting to feeling pressurised, than punishing you as they'd already explained why they wouldn't be spending this Christmas with you.

An apology for letting your feelings of disappointment 'get the better of you' would be a good idea, especially as this has resulted in an argument between your DS and DH.

Enjoy this Christmas with your mum and look forward to next year.

Thank you for your comments. You might be right about the cold last year.

We have only had garden visits since March and I'm tired of not being allowed inside and essentially being made to sound like a lepar because I go to the local shopping centre on a saturday!

They are very close with my DM, DIL even calls her usually once a week separate to when my DS rings, so I have heard they have seen DIL parents inside since March.

I just feel left out the loop. There is always next year but when DIL was pregnant she said once her baby was toddling they would be going where best for GS and his experience and I wouldn't be surprised if this was at DIL's family every year!

I can understand your being upset but don’t let it continue to rankle - we’re planning just the two of us and I’m
focusing on just making a nice day.

I think that the media has a lot to be blamed for over the fuss/worry about Christmas. There are regular items on the daily chat shows about people not being able to see all their family. I understand that if someone is on their own at home it could be upsetting for them but for those who have a spouse/partner then it could be enjoyable for them to do/eat/drink/watch exactly what they chose.

It's just a few days in an horrible year and the sooner we get safely into 2021 the better. With a bit of luck we can have all the celebrations that we want.

Arrangements have been made so I'm afraid no amount of pushing will make things any better and anymore pushing could make the situation worse.

I understand you're being upset grannylancs but Christmas often does leave some family members feeling left out but there's always next year and you wont be spending Christmas alone if you spend it with your mum.

I suspect the comment about you visiting last year with the start of a cold was more to do with reacting to feeling pressurised, than punishing you as they'd already explained why they wouldn't be spending this Christmas with you.

An apology for letting your feelings of disappointment 'get the better of you' would be a good idea, especially as this has resulted in an argument between your DS and DH.

Enjoy this Christmas with your mum and look forward to next year.

tanith

I think you should allow your son and his wife to make the best decision for them and shouldn’t be putting pressure on everyone including yourself and DH. What is so bad about spending Christmas with DH? Thousands will be alone including myself it’s just one year, I don’t think they are deliberately excluding you.

We didn't get to see them last year because they isolated so have never had a christmas with GS

Personally it wouldn’t bother me at all

Peace and quiet what’s not to like.

vampirequeen

My DDs always spend Christmas with their dad (my ex). It used to upset me but now I think what the hell. Have a nice quiet day with your DH. Plan some treats for yourselves.

Yes but most days since March have been quiet days just me and DH lol

They also don't like that I still go retail shopping and coffee with friends (when allowed!) as they completely isolate apart from DIL has walks with pram with her friend. DIL family also isolate apart from supermarket shop.

I think you should allow your son and his wife to make the best decision for them and shouldn’t be putting pressure on everyone including yourself and DH. What is so bad about spending Christmas with DH? Thousands will be alone including myself it’s just one year, I don’t think they are deliberately excluding you.

My DDs always spend Christmas with their dad (my ex). It used to upset me but now I think what the hell. Have a nice quiet day with your DH. Plan some treats for yourselves.