breaking the rules, or not

I didn't know what hit me when my 2nd daughter arrived - she cried non-stop, when she could talk told me "I've got a headache and a tummy ache and I don't feel well! I managed to get her to a homeopathic doctor when she was three. We discovered she was allergic to eggs. I was shown how to desensitise her and she was a different child!!
DH refused to help because he had to work
Early days for a two week old, though.

Your daughter might find the information here useful.
www.cry-sis.org.uk

Encourage your daughter to contact her community midwife for advice - even if she cannot physically visit, she should be able to give advice over the phone or by Skype etc.
With some babies, it takes a while for them to settle into some kind of routine.
If your daughter is bottle feeding, there are alternative teats that can be used - it's very much trial and error I'm afraid as to which one is best.
There is also many ways for the baby to be winded - the midwife can suggest different ones to try.
Your job is to help mum by helping out with housework/ laundry etc, encourage the parents to catch up on sleep during the day(who else remembers that twilight zone feeling for the first few weeks?) and take bub out in the pram and also encourage your DD to go out for a walk - either on her own or with her OH or with the baby.

A lot of good advice on here already.

A chiropractor can help babies with colic - try and find one that does.

Don't take the child out of her home, be there during the day, so your daughter can sleep when the baby is asleep knowing you are standing by.

Are you sure Mum isn't using the lockdown as a reason not to hand over her very new baby? A lot of mothers find this time hard as baby has to learn a totally different way of living than it is used to and being with Mum is crucial. Pushing to step in now may be a bad move for your relationship with your daughter in the long run too. I would advocate encouraging her to talk to her Health Visitor who will be listening for any signs of depression. They can give strategies for helping the baby with colic which would be suitable for such a young baby. Be encouraging to your daughter about how she is doing nothing wrong and how common this is but she will get through it. If your daughter is absolutely tired out, perhaps you could help her get some sleep during the day so she isn't so tired at night. Taking the baby for a walk in the pram might be all that is needed.

If no one in the family. or who is dependent on meeting anyone in the family, is obese, over 70 or diabetic, then I think stress and sleep deprivation looking after a troubled baby is an emergency more immediate than Covid. Dreadful things can happen to babies when the parents' coping mechanisms become overstretched. But it fits the guidelines better to actually have someone move house to be with support rather than visiting backwards and forwards at random.

4allweknow my DC only got better after changing from breast to bottle feeding- it was like a miracle! The problem, as it turned out many years later, was gluten.

I'm sure you and your daughter have tried most things for this colicky baby but it may help to get the midwife or health visitor to show you the tummy massage strokes to help soothe a colicky baby.

If they cannot do this then there are videos on YouTube which may help.

Already ‘breaking the rules’ if you’ve been into their home to help. But I think anyway, you need to leave them to sort things out. She has a partner, and so it isn’t for you to get that involved. Perhaps, help by shopping for them and leaving it on the doorstep or just handing it to them and speak to her regularly but the baby is only two weeks old, they all need time together as a family to bond and it can be tricky at first. Keep a distance....for lots of reasons!

This can't be in the UK as you should certainly not being going to help out indoors and can't see how you could staying outside. There are medications for severe colic. Your daughter needs to contact a health official. How does your daughter know it is colic? At two weeks old babies do cry a lot and do need feeding a lot. My lst child had severe colic, I lived in a small flat, my husband worked shifts, no paternity leave in those days,but I would never have off loaded her to someone else. I lived through it, takes about 3 months for colic to settle. Take it the baby isn't breastfed.

Are you in the UK? If so, since the Dominic Cummings thing, it has been pointed out by our leaders that rules may be ignored if there is a childcare issue. So feel free

You must do what you feel is best for your family Pinkhousegirl.
My advise would be to take the baby to your flat and let your daughter have some much needed rest.
I did this for my sister when she was recovering from a section, it gave her some time to heal and rest and the baby was absolutely fine with me looking after her.

Just to point out OP does say I have offered to have baby here, with or without my daughter, simply to give her a break ( my bold) I don't think OP wants to separate the baby from its mum. Every situation is unique, so I'd say go with what feels right to you and your daughter and her partner. It may be that encouraging her to sleep during the daytime during your visits will be enough. Good luck and I hope the baby settles soon, colic can be a real nightmare, not confined to bottle fed babies but breastfed babies too as I know from experience.

Callistemon I don't need to read or pull apart anyone's comments so I'm not judging anyone's views are u?Only needed to read the first comment. OP has to make her own mind up. Just seen lots of times when these threads can descend into tit for tat and one OP got quite upset.

Agree with Calli and others here. The problem is not so much whether you are breaking the rules or not Pinkhousegirl but that a 2 week old baby should not be separated from his/her mother. Lots of practical suggestions on how to help from other posters.

I'm worrying about DGD going back to school by public transport, gilly. I'd rather risk taking her myself, wearing masks and taking precautions.

Thank you for being the voice of sense and reason Calli . I hadn’t digested the whole post/thread properly .

In your case, sorry.

It is in your care gillybob but perhaps in this case mum, dad and baby need to bond.
Doing practical things like washing, cooking etc would be helpful and allow them to concentrate on the baby but baby needs her/his mother. Mum can sleep when the baby sleeps.

Pinkhousegirl I am going to be looking after my 2 year old granddaughter again for 1-2 days from next week (as I have done since she was born) . My DD has been forced back into work or else have zero pay . It’s not a decision I have made lightly and I have not been talked into it either . It’s just the right thing to do .

I think a baby who cries because she or he is hungry, needs a nappy changed etc is normal and can be settled again, MissAdventure but a baby who suffers from colic is difficult to soothe and it is distressing knowing what to do to calm them. I know from experience!

I think the advice of a health professional is best rather than baby being taken from the mum, which may only make matters worse.

please don't read all these coments written here
Jishere
Does your comment mean you are qualified to judge other posters and their valuable experience?

It's 2 weeks old! Just tell mum to sleep when the baby sleeps.

You can help with the cleaning and chores but please don't interfere with mum/dad and baby.

Is this baby breastfeeding? Or bottle fed?

It's normal for babies to cry, surely?
Nothing exceptional about it.

My first DC had dreadful colic and after 1 month I was on my own as DH had to go overseas with work for months and DP had gone home.
I'm sorry for your DD but I remember that I just had to get on with it and try to soothe this poor little baby who was in distress. Bottle feeding did, in fact, solve the problem in the end. The midwife or health visitor may advise.

Pinkhousegirl what a difficult situation you are in. Your poor daughter. I think as there as been special circumstances written into the rules isn't this classed as one of them?
Is there anyone professional you or your daughter could ask like healthcare assistant?
Personally I would risk the fine if it meant my daughter could get some well deserved rest and recovery from given birth.
I wish you all well. And please don't read all these comments written here otherwise you will be wondering why you asked in the first place.
Take carex