It's all getting a bit much...

I think all of us have good Christmases and bad Christmases. Last year was a bit difficult for us because I was suffering from mild post-COVID syndrome. This year, with both of us having caught severe respiratory infections in October that in DH's case triggered off further heart problems and endless doctor and hospital visits. I am running more than a bit late, But it will all get sorted out.

The main thing is to work out what matters and what doesn't. In my opinion cleaning the house can wait, getting the decorations and lights up is essential. Other people's preferences will be different. I am not too bothered if a few Christmas cards are late.

This will be my 82nd Christmas, the vast majority of which have been happy, so if now and again some go pear shaped, why worry?

I can’t find flylady on Facebook.

If your house is a tip try flylady it's on FB and it's helping me.

As above.
It's a choice to pile all this stress on oneself.
The simple way to deal with it is to just stop it.

Just think. Being older there’s not many more Christmases left to endure/enjoy 😀
Best not to continue with things that stress or make you unhappy, but enjoy the things that do make you happy. The sky won’t fall in if you change long held traditions if you don’t value them any more or circumstances change.

While I agree with the lists and the timer, which are absolute musts, I would rather emphasise the point some have made about going for a walk. Go for a good few hours to the woods or to the seaside if you live near. Then start again afresh. When you come in the door, look at the house as if you were a visitor and just see to the things that stand out. Forget cleaning. Tidying should be enough. Straighten some towels and some cushions, Chuck out old newspapers and magazines.

And definitely don't cancel your date with your friends. You need the time out, the company, and the moral support.

I was just saying to myself I don't know how many more xmases I can cope with. As it is I only decorate alternate years when my daughter and grandson come from another city to stay over xmas, of which this year is their year. In two years time I might just pay for them to stay in a hotel nearby and come to us for daytime visits (they do have other relatives nearby to also visit). The hotel I am thinking of do make something of xmas so it would be more fun for them than staying here with a host who goes to bed at 9pm. I am not depressed or anything, just get tired and achy easily nowadays and take days to recover fully.

Fairlandia

Honestly, starting early is the answer in taking off the December pressure. We have 5 grandchildren, so I start in August with the present listing and buying, with the aim of having it finished & wrapped by mid November. Then it all goes up in the loft. Cards are bought in January and kept in a drawer under the bed. Plus you can pick up Xmas chocs & extras whenever you’re @ the supermarket.
I do hope you don’t get so overwhelmed next year.

I think there is something to be said for this! Almost every year I say I am going to be more organised but it never happens. I find it hard to think about Christmas until it is almost here.

Maybe this year I should just try harder? Oh no! Even more pressure...

This was going to be the Christmas when I put a tree up for the first time in years. I was going to spend time with my youngest grandchildren. Was going to a nearby country park to see their Christmas celebrations. It’s all gone pear shaped and I haven’t even written or sent any Christmas cards yet. I just want to cancel Christmas.I’ve just lost another filling a week after the previous one. I forgot to renew my broadband contract and the price has gone up a lot. It was going to be so different this year.

Three adults including me live in my house, we have all been ill with this awful virus. Not Covid, in fact I ended up with a nasty chest infection and had to get antibiotics and steroids from the GP.
Our Christmas decorations and tree are still in the loft, we have been so fatigued after this illness none of us have the inclination to clamber up there. I have a few Christmas ornaments in the spare room, I will dust and put a few of those about. Fortunately dinner will be cooked by a family member and we are going to a relatives home in the evening for coffee and trifle/cake.
Fortunately I've not much wrapping and we did away with gifts for adults about 2 years ago, that removed much stress.
I love writing/sending/receiving cards. I have a few friends and relations who live alone, so I buy stamps through the year so I don't notice the cost too much.
Someone on here I think it was said, try to do the things at Christmas you enjoy, which I think is good advice.
I'm going to have a quiet Christmas and an even quieter New Year.
I would try and see what I could cut out for next years Christmas, stopping gifts certainly stopped a lot of stress. I really only gift to my husband and grandchildren, sweets or biscuits,bottle of something I take to people's homes if going/invited anywhere. Like others the TV adverts drive me crazy. I listen to Classic FM most of the time or Radio Scotland. I hope everyone has a peaceful Christmas.

Honestly, starting early is the answer in taking off the December pressure. We have 5 grandchildren, so I start in August with the present listing and buying, with the aim of having it finished & wrapped by mid November. Then it all goes up in the loft. Cards are bought in January and kept in a drawer under the bed. Plus you can pick up Xmas chocs & extras whenever you’re @ the supermarket.
I do hope you don’t get so overwhelmed next year.

So sorry your feeling like this,I agree lists are a good idea and ticking the things off as you get them done gives you a sense of achievement.

AuntieE

First find out where you will be having Christmas dinner. You honestly cannot plan much if you don't know that.

Second: do you really need to put up decorations? For whose sake? You don't sound as if you really want to put them up this year, so don't.

If you feel you must put up decorations, get someone to help you, if you possibly can.

Tidy up - you will feel so much better when your home looks tidier - you don't have to run around cleaning. Just put things away where they should be rather than where they are right now.

In your place, I would be frank with my sister - say that your son seems to invited you to hers and you feel this is an impostition. Mention you would be quite happy on your own, if that is the case, and see what she says.

Keepingquiet does have somewhere to go for Christmas dinner.
She told us about an hour before you posted. Perhaps you didn’t read it.

Feeling miserable as Xmas is different for me. Usually active getting everything organised. But this year every day is taken up with pain in my knee. Cannot get away from it. Been to osteopath and it is the usual wear and tear or so they say. 39 weeks wait to see an orthopaedic surgeon. Seems a small problem but beginning to get me down.

StephLP

Forget about having a perfect Christmas. It doesn't exist. And the Christmas Days we look back on with fondness as a family are those where something went wrong. 'The day Grandma's paper hat fell into the toilet', the day I got a turkey out of the oven (big enough to feed 14 people), dropped it and it slid across the kitchen floor like it was trying to escape, the day the rabbit bit through the Christmas tree lights etc.. No one ever reminices about how good the food was or how nice the decorations looked.

Ha we shouldn’t laugh 😂

First find out where you will be having Christmas dinner. You honestly cannot plan much if you don't know that.

Second: do you really need to put up decorations? For whose sake? You don't sound as if you really want to put them up this year, so don't.

If you feel you must put up decorations, get someone to help you, if you possibly can.

Tidy up - you will feel so much better when your home looks tidier - you don't have to run around cleaning. Just put things away where they should be rather than where they are right now.

In your place, I would be frank with my sister - say that your son seems to invited you to hers and you feel this is an impostition. Mention you would be quite happy on your own, if that is the case, and see what she says.

I think you are now overwhelmed by the amount you have to do, and therefore nothing gets done. I've been there. The short days don't help, and if you don't have a reliable partner to help with the tasks then you automatically have twice as much to do. All I can suggest is that you tear up your multiple lists and make new lists with a maximum of 3 things you wish to accomplish, preferably contain some tasks for which you have a modicum of motivation. If you only manage to do one, carry the remaining 2 over to the next day, and so on.
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Please look after yourself first,stay in bed one morning,you could sit making a list,then when your up just do one thing & tick it off,make a cup of tea & do one more little job,one you would like to do ,then tidy one small area,then done for the day.You have worked hard all your life so deserve to slow down.
Check out breathing exercises on line & try that if you feel stressed,& phone a happy friend to cheer you up,good luck.

Had reasonably easy conversation with my sister today and we are going to hers for Christmas dinner. She doesn't need us to take any food, maybe wine and it is close enough to walk there weather permitting.

She reminded me that I had Chrsitmas dinner there last year but I honestly have no recollection. Last year was a deep fog I've written out of my memory. I just went through the motions.

This year will be much better.

I'm sorry you're feeling under the weather and under the pressure of Christmas. The season asks so much of us. Do you mind if I offer my own experience? Currently we get about 8 hours of daylight, and actually a lot less due to storms rolling through. Many of us have learned to get outside every day and do some kind of physical activity, enough to breath the fresh (often damp!) air. When you're not feeling well the idea of going outside won't appeal ... but it helps, truly.

I’ve bee bullied by my 88 year old sister in law to cook a chateaubriand for Boxing Day. I don’t cook much as I’ve got severe rheumatoid. She wouldn’t let her daughter cook it. She also. wants me to transport homemade pavlova, cheesecake and a trifle. Then she tells me she’s a pile of mending for me to do as I’m staying for two nights.
Covid would be welcome I dispair of enjoying christmas

Forget about having a perfect Christmas. It doesn't exist. And the Christmas Days we look back on with fondness as a family are those where something went wrong. 'The day Grandma's paper hat fell into the toilet', the day I got a turkey out of the oven (big enough to feed 14 people), dropped it and it slid across the kitchen floor like it was trying to escape, the day the rabbit bit through the Christmas tree lights etc.. No one ever reminices about how good the food was or how nice the decorations looked.

One little thing I do is buy my Christmas cards in the January sales and write them all out then. When I pack away my decorations the written cards go with them. I sometimes have to change one or two for new babies, changed addresses or sadly deaths but I keep some blanks for this purpose. Its so nice to just stick on the stamps and post them in December.

Dottydots

I had a good cry reading all the above comments. It will be just me and my friend here for Christmas Day. I just can't do what I used to do, so have ordered two Christmas dinners from Wiltshire Farm Foods. Even the large size isn't very big but I will add some sprouts and other veg to it. My friend won't mind as he's very easygoing. I only wish I felt well enough to make more of an effort.

Good idea 🫂

Twig14

My mother died in September I’m trying to do decorations but my heart isn’t it. I’ve done lists and tick them off when sorted. Normally have Christmas lights up outside but consoled myself thinking post Christmas it’s a bind to take them all down as the weather usually pretty awful so this year will look at everyone else’s. I think Christmas if you are not well things get totally out of proportion so just do what you can when you are able too after all we do all the preparation for weeks in advance and it’s over in a couple of days. I would explain how you feel to family don’t bottle it all up and I hope you feel much better and have a much better New Year

🫂🫂🫂