Doing the right thing for my daughter at Christmas

Thank you for your advice and thoughts - really helped to put things in perspective.

I will go away this Christmas…probably the best decision I’ll make this year.

I agree. The best possible reason to try Christmas away.
Surely your DD will understand. It sounds like it's been an ordeal for her but without you to consider, she may be more relaxed with those others.
Good luck whatever you decide.

I think going away for a few days is an excellent idea. It does not have to be as extreme as going to a non-christian country where you can forget about the time of year. It leaves you free to do your own thing in your own space.

My hatred of christmas and the entire family thing was so intense that I began to go to places where it was not celebrated - think Morocco, Egypt, Nepal etc. It got me away from the family scene and meant that no one rang and pestered me - no mobile phones in those days.

Why not say to your daughter that you are thinking of going away next year, unless she was planning to come to you? You never know, she might not be looking forward to a Christmas with her in-laws ( I’m not sure why you think she has to consider them)
On the whole though I think a Christmas holiday would be good for you, you could always save up and go to one of your other daughters?

Thank you for your comments it’s helped me with a way forward.

I don’t think my other two children would offer for me to stay with them as they live the other side of the world. It’s never been mentioned about me coming to see them.

My daughter’s in laws are lovely people but I suspect they would prefer it if I wasn’t there! I think my daughter would be relieved too….

Sad, but true.

Why not go to one of your other two children for Christmas, that would be a solution both you and your daughter would see as an alternative which is as good as you going to her, and your other children would be pleased to have you for Christmas for a change?

I think going away for Christmas is a great idea you might even find like minded people and have fun. Do your research and have a good think about it.

Good comment from Baggs

I think your idea of going away somewhere for a few days by yourself is a good one. You avoid what you don't like that way and you could 'sell' it to your daughter as you branching out on something new, just as she is doing by getting married.

Good luck anyway.