Dealing with unwanted Christmas gifts

We have decided to only buy for children in the family and not adults. We all have stuff and don’t need more. It is so dis-respectful to rewrap a selected present to pass on to someone else and to not even remove the original tag. I like the idea of all going out for a family meal rather than individual presents.

Well I received a re-gifted gift from my neighbour this Christmas. You could tell straight away by the wrapping as that was reused too and to top it all she used the same gift bag she was given, with To 'her name' and from her friends on the tag. I did see her said friends visiting a few days prior.

A friend gave me a gift of toiletries one Christmas. I donated them to a raffle, not thinking the friend would be at the event. Sure enough she won a raffle prize and chose the exact gift she had given me saying "I do love ........ toiletries so much".

M0nica

wish list

Yep, wish lists are the way to go. We all get what we want that way, no waste.

Tanjamaltija

The daughter would have been stupid to give the bag to a charity shop in their area...and also, was it a bespoke designer bag, i.e. the only one of the kind to exist in the whole, wide, world? Isn't it nasty for a mother and daughter to gang up on another daughter, though? The word gift is self-explanatory - no strings attached. I rather think that they felt they were being cute. They weren't.

I agree that this was uncalled for by the mother & one of the daughters who was not the one getting the gift. Out of normal protocol totally.

Ganging up ( bullying ) was nasty on behalf of the mother.

M0nica

Everyone in our family files a sish list in early November, obviating the need to give presents to chairty because they are not wanted. Every gift a wanted gift!

Wise idea.

We do similar with our twin daughters. We speak about the topic. And it works out very well for us.

We do same with the gals and they provide the info for the 3 grandchildren.

This way there are no un-wanted gifts.

Here is a xmas present I would like to send.

I have a friend who re gifts me things that she has bought and never used or things she has been given but doesn't like, and tells me. I would rather I got a card and taken out for coffee. I know she hasn't got much, so I understand. Tricky!!

My youngest son has invited me to join them on their holiday to Spain, all expenses paid. The problem is , I’m really not up to it. I’ve reached the age when I just would like to stay at home, have a little daily walk (when possible), go on my iPad, drink endless cups of tea. A few years ago, I would have jumped at it. I have Osteoarhritis and Bronchiectasis. Hanging around airports 😫 They know I love being with the grandchildren, but …..

This is why 2 of my DAC get money biscuits booze and tin of chocolates. Was doing some cleaning years ago for DS and under the sink behind the dishwasher tablets and floor cleaners were all the still boxed saucepans and frying pans set I'd spent £140 on for Xmas 4 years before. Didn't say anything but have given money ever since. I found it quite upsetting but then thought obviously their choice wasn't the same as mine.

I have tried to cut back on unnecessary card sending & gift buying, & made my feelings very clear. But when meeting up recently with someone who has been a friend for over 40 yrs, I was secretly horrified to be given a gift as I’d made it clear (or so I thought) that it would be far better to meet up more often & have lunch out instead of presents. It was doubly awkward as I was then in the position of getting her a gift & posting it on. Just what do you do?! Yes, I know she meant well but I have the unneeded gift, which I cannot use as it is unsuitable & though I have regifted items in the past I couldn’t with this. In the end I donated it to a charity raffle.
It took me many years to convince DH not to get me gifts, we now spend the money in ways we both enjoy instead.
Clearing my parents’ house, there were wedding gifts to them still with the cards. Tablecloths & linens, kept for ‘best’? Never used in 35 years! 😕

Un-needed gifts usually get donated to a charity raffle or tombola. I only re-gift if I'm sure the recipient would like it.

I've gently let it be known to my children and other family members that I am lucky enough to have everything I need, and as my 'wants' are few and extremely simple, a book token is an absolute delight, or an afternooon having a cup of tea and a catch up with any or all of them would be a most welcome gift. We don't do adult Christmas presents now, which has been a relief all round, and for birthdays my family know that if I buy them anything they don't like or want, I keep receipts and they must change the item or have a refund for something that they really like.

I sometimes get unwanted presents from clients but I either give them to our lovely neighbours if it's booze or give them to a charity shop on my bi monthly visit to a distant town.
Family presents are always good, we only do token ones and only things we know are wanted or needed.

There’s a web site/app called Things To Get Me where you can make a list for yourself and also look at other people’s list (with permission). If I do receive gifts that I don’t want (having gratefully received them) I give them to a charity shop so they get some benefit from it. Nobody that gives me presents live anywhere near me so there’s no chance of causing offence.

I absolutely hate the term “unwanted gifts” - such an ungracious way to describe them! I prefer to say “unneeded gifts” !

Louella12

I'm just wondering how on earth they knew it was the handbag they'd bought!

I don't think I'd have leaped to the conclusion these ladies came to.

Imagine how stupid these people would look if sister then had 2 handbags identical. Was this handbag a one off? She could then gift one to sister and one to Mum who apparently like it.

All I can say is never ,ever give perfume to someone you don't know well. Perfume is such a personal thing. I have been given perfumes that were expensive but just non something I could wear. Such a waste of money.
I much prefer to ask what someone would like or give them something I'm 100% sure they will like.
This year we did a few larger practical gifts and others came from Charity shops... just as nice and not using new resources to make... and not ending up in landfill further down the line.

crazyH

Yes sodapop - I think your mum treasured your gifts. That’s why she wrapped them in tissue paper 😢

Thank you crazyH I hadn't really looked at it like that.

I hate receiving presents! I do not need or want anything. Prefer they donate to charity. We give our girls a small amount of money and likewise the grandchildren. We dont buy gifts nowadays for each other either. I love going round the charity shops after christmas.

MissInterpreted

I hate the idea of 'wish lists' - so entitled! If someone presented me with a wish list, I'd make a point of NOT getting anything on it. I was brought up to believe that you should be grateful for any gift.

What a waste and disappointment if the present is totally wrong, people pretending they like their gift?
Ours are not called wish lists, but Christmas lists, the same for Birthday lists, and my family have been doing it for nearly 70 years, it works well, and avoids waste or returns.

Despite telling a good friend frequently that I don't like 'stuff' and actively get rid of ornaments, every birthday I get an ornament from her. Over the years I have got rid of many. It's just not my thing.

The Bodach’s mother always bought me an outfit which SHE liked, and always said, ‘ If I’d wear it, I know you would’. I always made a point of wearing it when I saw her, so that just meant the unsuitable outfits continued.
I am a very grateful receiver.

In our family we now only give presents to children/teenagers, until they are 21 or whenever their education ends if it is later than that. It has saved a lot of waste and embarrassment. From secondary school age onwards the presents are usually money, because that is what they want.

Gift giving is so tricky - sometimes you score and sometimes you lose. So my family and I have agreed to not do adult gifts any longer. Only for the grandkids. I’ve also negotiated this with my friends.

I do like to buy gifts though and have to hold back, especially at Christmas and adult birthdays. No one minds giving/getting a small, has to be USEFUL, trinket - a nice jar of spice, a purse lotion, a unique nightlight, Homemade Anything, a fun keyring, note cards, etc.
Food/Wine Gifts Always Welcome and Festive.

You can still have fun and not offend anyone or spend mega bucks. Regifting is SO tacky - and it shows.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
USA Gundy