Adult children

We don't do adult presents on my side, however DDs birthday is on the 19th, and I give her £75. The GCs get something for about £20 and £30 cash, all I can afford. DH sends his ACs a foodie item and gives his older GCs cash, however there is now a two year old in the mix, so I will probably have to sort that!

I meant block!

I always ask them what they want. They have just bought a house and asked for some sharp knives so I bought a knife black with a variety of knives, useful a needed. It is difficult though. This was a joint present. Another problem is that they don’t like clutter, though with two children this is difficult!

apparently the royals have been swapping joke gifts for years, perhaps in recognition of the fact they already have just about everything one could want in life.

For about 18 months when I was in my late teens I worked for (part of) an aristocratic family in Suffolk and lived in. They never bought expensive gifts at Christmas. The only expensive gifts I saw were some birthday presents - like a beautiful pendant from husband to wife. The wife got something like an umbrella for Christmas, or a pair of warm socks. Their money went into their business and their land. I was friends with the daughter who was about my age - for her 18th she got shares in the business and a new dress for her party. I think the dress was from Chelsea girl. She picked it herself.

I think the theatre voucher is a lovely idea, or subscription to a monthly magazine. If you can't give them physical gifts, there's really no alternative to sending something I'm a Christmas card. Receiving a bunch of flowers is a delight for most people, even as a Xmas gift. Good luck with choosing, there are some great suggestions on here

Thanks for all of the replies. Lots of different things going on in families as I expected.
I can’t send stuff - Far East and USA postage usually means the postage costs more than the gift.
My daughter in laws would not want anything hand made in their pristine houses!
How on earth can you work out how much money you need to keep back for yourself? I’m guessing quite a few of you are much wealthier than me!
I shall probably just have to keep sending the combined sum for each family and let them decide what to do with it!
For birthdays I usually transfer a similar amount and say “ have a meal out on me”

My mother gives money as gifts for her 3 ac and spouses and the GC . She’s 88 and as others have said , you can’t take it with you .
My close friend has 4 AC all with partners and they do a secret Santa for the adults and buy gifts for the GC

Not every adult child of gransnetters is well off batpat1 rather a large assumption you’ve made there.

Is there something that they like, that they can't buy in the country where they live? I don't know how old the grandchildren are, but when I told my 10 & 11 granddaughters that you could have a star named after them they thought it was a fabulous idea.

I love Christmas and have always prepared for it throughout the year, but for health reasons I can’t do that any more. Now we do a £50 Secret Santa for the adults (through an online app) and one gift each for the children as advised by their parents.

It’s just one of very many lifestyle changes I’ve had to make in recent years and I’m trying to adapt with good grace. 🧑‍🎄

I no-longer need 'stuff' - I need to get rid of things - and both AC can afford to buy what they want. We now mostly buy experiences such as going out for a meal together or a theatre trip. I sometimes give DiL a gift card. I also sometimes give small handmade gifts.

I ave always asked my children, and their other halves to nominate where they would like a gift voucher from for Chrismas (which might be Sainsbury's or M &S or anywhere!!) - then a few years ago I reduced the amount I gave them each and told them I was giving a decent amount to a charity of my choice - Hearing Dogs for the Deaf, Ukrainian refugees and things like that. I rather enjoy choosing my charity! 've not decided yet which charity it will be this year. I still do a stocking though for each family, which contains things for each adult, dog (if they have one) and things for the grandchildren. That's the fun bit for me.

That's an easy one, don't get the adults anything only the children and make the adults birthdays a little bit more special.

Mine, including gc have all got more than me, but I always loved birthdays and Christmas ans spend much as I can afford. Its about 100 each as I can’t take it with me, there’s less I need as I get older and I go without nothing. I’ve always helped out with cars first homes etc. after this year I will give them all cash as it’s a job to find what they want and they are all so bust now.

to send them money then they send me money is pointless . a nominal gift of some kind will be what I may do.

apparently the royals have been swapping joke gifts for years, perhaps in recognition of the fact they already have just about everything one could want in life.

MrsKen33 👍

crazyH well said. We do the same.

Norah - 👍

SallyatBaytree - my thoughts exactly 👍 - I don’t know why people of our age (70+) still hang on to their money - seriously - I don’t mean to offend anybody , but I just can’t understand it. As long as you are not depriving yourself, why not give it away to the children, who probably need money now.

crazyH

I give them more with each passing year - no point in hanging on to our money - can’t take it with us ..

Indeed. Our exact plan.

Saved enough for our care, give the rest freely.

I send gift vouchers to family abroad from a bookshop which has several branches in their country. This year the bookshop have started plastic cards to which I can add money to each year ( as long as DGC don’t lose the gift cards) they are a family who buys books all the time.

I’ve cut down during covid as my hubby lost his job. Christmas I feel is for children but when they reach 21 I buy just for the younger ones. Has you said the adults abroad especially don’t need treats and we should all reduce what we spend because it’s got out of hand . It’s the thought that counts after all

At 61, I’m one of those reasonably well-off children/aunties who is impossible to buy for. DH and I haven’t bought birthday and Xmas gifts for each other for over 30 years (when we were broke!). Anyway, point is, the gifts I love are small but thoughtful. I’m close to my Niece and she got me a very inexpensive 'through thick and thin'' bracelet which I love. Book tokens! I've asked for a subscription to a favourite publication this year. When we lived abroad, often our b’day /Xmas pressie was being taken out to lunch when back on a visit. It’s just a ‘touch’ of thoughtfulness, that’s all that’s needed.

We buy our |SC a small gift then add Pashto make it up to £50. We do similar for the GC, hoping the cash will be invested for them.

In our family the adults all 'buy' charity donations for each others' Christmas and birthday presents. And that's it. For the children,of course, we buy toys, maybe something they have said they really want, something for them to unwrap.
It seems really wrong, almost indecent, for adults to be given and give each other so much 'stuff' which really they don't want, don't need, often a complete waste of money, when there are so many needy causes desperate for funds. Sending
donations to charity instead on an adult relation's behalf means that money that would otherwise have probably been 'wasted' on presents 'because it's expected' could really do someone some good.