Secret Santa - to do or not to do?

We used to do ss with a twist at my old workplace. The budget was £5 max. though some obviously spent more(their choice). We chose a theme each year, Christmas baubles, christmas chocolate,mini toiletries etc. We had a bran tub/ lucky dip. Everyone bought one thing related to that years theme and we all dipped into the tub. I thought this was better than choosing for a particular person and far more fun!

Love the buying from charity shop idea. That's what I shall do. Thanks! Hate this yearly silliness. I think most people at my place do, but it has been someone's pet project for years, so what can you do without offending? 🙄

Kryptonite

Love the buying from charity shop idea. That's what I shall do. Thanks! Hate this yearly silliness. I think most people at my place do, but it has been someone's pet project for years, so what can you do without offending? 🙄

Or maybe consider the small independent retailer rather than a Charity shop.
(I know I’ve got a vested interest here but if you don’t want a high street full of Charity shops, support the little shops there now.)

I love a secret Santa. Yes times are hard so maybe have a conversatiion and lower it to £5 but we a need a bit of fun. Our have included all sorts of random things over the years. From Tins of salmon to gagets for hulling strawberries. From lipsticks to furry handcuffs! Not saying which I still use.
Suffice to say I love a strawberry !!

Lathyrus

They might or they might think she’s a meany, you just don’t know.🤔

Don't really mind what people think of me. That is their business.

Why are you buying a gift for all members of the group. Secret Santa usually means all the names are put in a "hat" you draw one out and that is the person you buy a gift for. Never heard of buying for a whole group as you seem to do. Used it at work and I would have grudged spendng over £200 on my team, never mind the having to think of so many gifts.

I would not be happy to hear that my Secret Santa has been given to the donkey sanctuary. Nor to get a mince pie or spicy biscuit in exchange of your donation to charity. Give charity £90 and keep tradition going with your group.

I would explain to the group next time you meet that you do not want to be included in the Secret Santa this year, as money is tight. No-one should expect you to contribute to it, and obviously, you are not taking part, so you don't expect a present.

I would not offer any further explanation, and certainly not ask them to donate to charity instead. That to me is being impertinent. They are grown-ups and must decide, as you are doing, for themselves what they want to spend their money on.

You may be surprised by the sigh of relief that goes up from the group when you honestly say you cannot afford this kind of thing in the present circumstances.

LRavenscroft

Lathyrus

They might or they might think she’s a meany, you just don’t know.🤔

Don't really mind what people think of me. That is their business.

That’s OK then. Just flagging up that it might cause some bad feeling in the group, rather than the “I expect others will be glad too”. You won’t know till you do it.

We used to do Secret Santa in the office I worked in. We all wrote down something we’d like to receive to the value of a fiver ( this was thirty years ago) and added our name. The notes were folded and put in a container, given a shake and then we each took out a note and bought the requested gift for that person. Gift was wrapped and named and handed out by the boss dressed as Santa on our last day at work before Christmas. The recipient didn’t know who’d bought their gift obviously.
That way we all spent the same amount and knew that we were buying a gift that was genuinely wanted. No more rubbish!
I’ve still got some of mine, and often reread my paperback of Greek Myths and still enjoy it.

I think in the cost of living crisis none of you should have a secret santa but instead donate to a charity. Some people have no insight into other peoples' financial hardships.

I am now a bit confused. Surely you don't send a secret gift to each of the members? . Our secret Santa has only ever been you supply one gift and take one gift.. Sometimes we have put names in a hat and bought for one specific person mostly put in a gift and take a gift.

I love secret Santa, and belong to several groups where we do it. Each person buys only ONE present, and of course draws only one out. The guideline is fiver or under and get it from a charity shop if you can. It's fun, and it's win/win. £10 is too much unless you're wealthy, £10x10 is just ridiculous. I have four children, four grandchildren and a husband to buy for and couldn't afford that. Nor would I feel it's appropriate.

Secret Santa to me is not buying everyone a present in the group. Just picking out one name from a hat.
When I was at work a few years ago we decided to buy for the Santa gift " pound shop pressie"
Or anything for £1 maximum for a charity shop. It's fun.! Make the gifts as horrible as possible so they usually get donated straight away, so charity wins again!
Everyone has to be in on the joke of course x

Wonder if there are any the group who don't receive any other pressies.
A secret Santa involves buying 1 gift.

Maybe have an ethic of kindness rather than of what is right? Ask the group if this is the year to donate all your £10 s to a charity / food bank? If they agree, fine. If they prefer to keep up their little tradition, join in with good grace.

As it is a book group what a out A twist on the charity shop idea. Everyone donate a book they have enjoyed festively wrapped. Not a new recently punished one, perhaps one you enjoyed years ago or pick up a copy in a charity shop if you see one, and everyone gets a pick. If someone has read it she can put it on the table and someone else could swap and hopefully everyone would go home with something new to read. Or something along those lines. I'd certainly be happy with that. I did once get a great secret Santa of a little toolkit, much better than a prosecco gift set or body lotion. Unless it is a joke one or a charity shop one they do work best if you k ow the person pretty wdll
If the rescue is a charity and you can gift aid then donating the money can be a good way of increasing the value of the donation. I know aot aren't tbough

Adults don't need presents.

HettyBetty

Adults don't need presents.

Speak for yourself. There’s nothing nicer than an unexpected and thoughtful present. Most people want some joy in their lives.

Casdon plenty of joy of many sorts in my life but thank you for the concern.

HettyBetty

Casdon plenty of joy of many sorts in my life but thank you for the concern.

You missed the point of my post. You can’t make a value judgment about what other people should do based on your own preferences. Many people get joy from presents, they are not wrong just because you don’t.

I usually take part in three gift exchanges. All have a limit of £5. One gift to buy for each and then we have several games that we play to see which wrapped gift you get. No pressure if you don’t want to buy a gift , you just don’t get one back.
It is just a bit of fun.
This year I have decided to buy gift tokens from local shops and wrap in a small box.

Casdon You missed the sarcasm. Have a lovely evening.

HettyBetty

Casdon You missed the sarcasm. Have a lovely evening.

I believe there is a saying about that!

we do them at work but it's opt in or out