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Christmas Giving Dilemma

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NanaTuesday Tue 08-Nov-22 23:09:50

So further to the other “ Christmas Post”
Between us my DH & I have 15 ( Yes ) GC between us - 8 Children plus one newly arrived GGD ( DH) & One GGD due for me in around 10 days .
All between 25-10 Oh plus the additional Step Grandchild same age as my GS & a Step GD who has also just given birth .
It’s turning into a nightmare . TBH we had it down to some sort of fine art . Christmas Eve Boxes for the Children which I started doing many years before it became en vogue . Those individual boxes then became Family Style Christmas Eve Boxes .
In addition I have made it a bit of a tradition to take my Grandchildren to a local Panto - it varies as to who comes & this year I haven’t even got around to purchasing our tickets yet as it was such a palava last year for various reasons . I usually buy in Oct. Anyway on that note I had decided 2022 it’s not going to happen then this Wk end at a big family gathering one of the younger GD’s asked tge question re Panto . Don’t get me wrong I love taking them but had written it off as it had run it’s course , which is sad as I wanted it to be diverging that my GC could remember always going to or being dragged to with Grandma laughing the loudest lol
Anyway jury is still out on that .
But what do we now do re Gifts , it irks me that neither of my Husbands older GC 25 & 22 bother with gifts or even a card for DH . & now that DH GS has a child it’s only right that a gist is included from us for her .
Then the Step GC ( I don’t refer to them as that only for the purpose of writing this - I’m not happy with buying for them especially as last year I didn’t get as much as a Thank you for the Birthday gifts just after Christmas for the 20 yr old who has now also just 10 days ago given birth .
So , do I stick to the hamper for all the family on each side of our families that’s 5 of the 8 Children as 2 are still single & at home with their other parent .
Is anyone else in a simple situation?
Thing is I feel that I can’t treat my own GCthe ones who reside with the Step GC & who don’t say thank you have a M who thinks they should all be treated the same - whereby I don’t want to give these any thing they have their own GP & other parent . I haven’t even had a TY for the gift for the new addition last week .
Yes I feel a bit begrudging about this aspect
Help requested

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Lucca Fri 11-Nov-22 10:45:52

This thread is one of the things that makes me strongly duslike Christmas.

What a carry on about presents.

My siblings and I plus nieces and nephews stopped present giving years ago. My bloke and I ditto.

I give a girl friend a gift and my 2 uk grandkids .(Aussie ones dealt with by their Dad (bank transfer from me).
This year DS and DDIL, self and bloke are having a week in an Airbnb over Xmas week, that’s our present to each other.

Why not just drastically cut down the list ? And the stress, guilt etc.

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VB000 Fri 11-Nov-22 13:09:39

Lucca

This thread is one of the things that makes me strongly duslike Christmas.

What a carry on about presents.

My siblings and I plus nieces and nephews stopped present giving years ago. My bloke and I ditto.

I give a girl friend a gift and my 2 uk grandkids .(Aussie ones dealt with by their Dad (bank transfer from me).
This year DS and DDIL, self and bloke are having a week in an Airbnb over Xmas week, that’s our present to each other.

Why not just drastically cut down the list ? And the stress, guilt etc.

Good idea Lucca - totally agree
Christmas is too stressful already - we have pared it right back too.

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grandtanteJE65 Sun 13-Nov-22 12:23:24

How about only giving a small present to those under 18?

Or simply state that you are sorry, in the present crisis you can no longer afford pantomime tickets and presents for the entire family.

In fairness to the adults in the group they need to be told of your decision immediately, so they don't buy for you (although it didn't sound as if they do).

If you and your husband are in agreement about this, there is no need or point in making a family discussion out of it, just an announcement that you will neither be giving nor expecting to receive presents this Christmas, and that you will no longer be sending cards.

If you and your husband are not in agreement, then you need to start with reaching a compromise with him.

I would never dream of saying I was denoting to charity instead - after all if I can afford to do that, I ought to be able to afford giving the family presents, and it is no business of anyone else's if or how much I give to charity.

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Blondiescot Sun 13-Nov-22 12:36:10

No such dilemmas here. For many years now, we have only given to our very immediate family - I'm talking daughter and son and their partners, my GS and my in-laws. That's it. Makes the whole thing so much simpler - not to mention cheaper.

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