Christmas disasters

Thank you, Maw, for such a marvellous thread. As someone who is far from a domestic goddess it cheered me up to know that other people have disasters too. One year, with a house full, I had bought everything except washing up liquid and Boxing Day saw DH driving round the more ethically diverse bits of the city looking for an open corner shop. I was not popular and very miffed that only my omission merited comment and not the enormous amount of provisioning I had done.

One Christmas Day during a lull in the cooking, I decided to have a go on the new skateboard which had been given to one of my daughters. It had been left in our long hallway, I lasted seconds, the skateboard sped on alone and ended up colliding noisily and messily with the glass door of the oven. The oven was opposite the door to the hall and was full of half cooked Christmas dinner. DH was furious but the kids roared with laughter. I can't remember exactly how we managed but I remember dinner being quite late that year. He's never forgiven me, the old bore!

That is funny anno! Easily amused!

This duplication is crazy. I only pressed control/return once and this happened. Apologies

A week before Christmas, DS2 was 'up north' on business and arranged to take me back with him to spend Christmas with the family. All my luggage and Christmas things were neatly arranged by the door to be loaded into his boot. Arrived at the family's home and...where was the Christmas cake? I was planning to decorate it on arrival, but not a chance! Arrived home in January and there was the bag, with the cake still in its tin. A good fruit cake will keep almost infinitely especially if well laced with brandy which it was. It lived on in the freezer and made a triumphant appearance the following Christmas.

A week before Christmas, DS2 was 'up north' on business and arranged to take me back with him to spend Christmas with the family. All my luggage and Christmas things were neatly arranged by the door to be loaded into his boot. Arrived at the family's home and...where was the Christmas cake? I was planning to decorate it on arrival, but not a chance! Arrived home in January and there was the bag, with the cake still in its tin. A good fruit cake will keep almost infinitely especially if well laced with brandy which it was. It lived on in the freezer and made a triumphant appearance the following Christmas.

A week before Christmas, DS2 was 'up north' on business and arranged to take me back with him to spend Christmas with the family. All my luggage and Christmas things were neatly arranged by the door to be loaded into his boot. Arrived at the family's home and...where was the Christmas cake? I was planning to decorate it on arrival, but not a chance! Arrived home in January and there was the bag, with the cake still in its tin. A good fruit cake will keep almost infinitely especially if well laced with brandy which it was. It lived on in the freezer and made a triumphant appearance the following Christmas.

A week before Christmas, DS2 was 'up north' on business and arranged to take me back with him to spend Christmas with the family. All my luggage and Christmas things were neatly arranged by the door to be loaded into his boot. Arrived at the family's home and...where was the Christmas cake? I was planning to decorate it on arrival, but not a chance! Arrived home in January and there was the bag, with the cake still in its tin. A good fruit cake will keep almost infinitely especially if well laced with brandy which it was. It lived on in the freezer and made a triumphant appearance the following Christmas.

A week before Christmas, DS2 was 'up north' on business and arranged to take me back with him to spend Christmas with the family. All my luggage and Christmas things were neatly arranged by the door to be loaded into his boot. Arrived at the family's home and...where was the Christmas cake? I was planning to decorate it on arrival, but not a chance! Arrived home in January and there was the bag, with the cake still in its tin. A good fruit cake will keep almost infinitely especially if well laced with brandy which it was. It lived on in the freezer and made a triumphant appearance the following Christmas.

I’d have swapped the dinners - pheasant for Christmas Day and the (by then) defrosted turkey on BD! And had a less stressful Christmas Eve ?

I bought a frozen turkey well in advance of Christmas from a local dairy/shop. On Christmas Eve I thought when I defrosted it that it smelt a bit and was a bit slimy. DH said he couldn't smell anything, it was just me. I prepared it for the big day, stuffing etc, wrapped it in foil and put it in the garden shed.

At about 3.00pm, DMiL arrived, when we had welcomed her she asked if she could see the turkey. I took her out to the shed, the smell, was beyond belief and there were blow flies on the turkey.

DH and I grabbed the turkey, in the pan, put it in the boot of the car and drove the several hundred yards to the shop. DMiL went to the local butcher, who was even nearer and bought a brace of pheasant.

The shop was just shutting as we arrived. Oh, no, they said, not another. They had bought a dozen turkeys from a different supplier in October and ours was the third to be returned. As I said they were just shutting and had one uncollected turkey in the freezer, which they gave to us and immediately put the 'shut' sign up.

We took our frozen turkey home and immediately started our fast defrost programme: stand the turkey on end in a bucket of hot water, changed every 10 minutes, while pouring boiling water in the stuffing end until you can manage to open up that cavity and then continue the hotwater treatment inside and out until the turkey is defrosted. We managed it by bedtime - and Christmas life went back to normal.

We had the pheasant for Boxing Day lunch.

LauraNorderr

I honestly can’t remember any Christmas Day disasters. Perhaps I am a domestic goddess after all.

Welcome back LauraNorder!

The only Christmas disaster I've had is a knock at the door late afternoon on Christmas day - it was my FIL complete with suitcase! He and MIL had had a huge barney (which wasn't unusual, they had a very volatile relationship) and as we lived quite near, he'd decided to come and stay with us for a few days. He'd not had any Christmas Dinner (poor man) so I cobbled together a meal from the copious leftovers. He ended up staying for 3 weeks, and only left after my husband persuaded his sister (who also lived near) to take him in. It was many weeks before he finally went home!

Maw I’m only halfway down this thread THANK YOU so much for the idea of this! - Nanna&Grampy with her ‘turkey on a stick’ had me laughing so much I’ve given myself a coughing jag‼️ Worth it though. I ❤️ these kind of threads they really are so funny and the best!
Continuing now ...
?

Grandmabatty

When I was growing up, we had neighbours with a disabled son. Every Christmas, my parents would visit them for a "little drink" which inevitably was more than they could handle. Christmas dinner was usually missing some ingredient. One year it was all the vegetables which still lay on the chopping board.
The year I had my son in late November we decided we would have Christmas dinner as a new family of three. I opened up the turkey on Christmas morning and the smell hit me! It was rancid. Fortunately we stayed walking distance from my parents so we had a decent dinner after all.

? Sounds like an episode of ‘The Cockfields’....maybe the Christmas one this year?
It’s fatal to drink too much and then have an important meal to prepare (I speak from experience!)

5 years ago we were having Xmas day on Boxing Day to fit in with our AC.
For some reason unbeknown to me my husband took the turkey out of the fridge before he came to bed.
I came down at 7.00 am to a very smelly Kelly Bronze turkey.
I was in M&S as soon as they opened a managed to get a replacement marked down to about £25.

Oh nanaandgrampy - I howled with laughter reading this - they're all fab tales and really cheered me up after a rotten day - was going to copy and paste it and e mail to my (much younger) colleagues but I think it's only us grans that will get the reference to the dambusters - still chuckling now

Or I have a very poor memory. You decide.

I honestly can’t remember any Christmas Day disasters. Perhaps I am a domestic goddess after all.

The oven door flew off on my hand halfway through cooking Christmas Dinner.

One year we had a Christmas tree potted up, roots and all, which surprisingly survived the season so we planted it in the garden. Next December it was still alive and green, so DH dug it up and we repotted it, brought it indoors and decorated it for Christmas. We piled the presents around the base and all was well till Christmas morning, when we came downstairs to find the hall, and the presents, alive with ants! They must have been dormant in the roots of the tree, and the warmth of the house convinced them it was summer and time to emerge!

We always cooked the turkey as per Saint Delia in a foil tent. Usually worke ok, but one year must have got the timings wrong. Called into the kitchen by DH to view what could only be described as roadkill - turkey completely collapsed with ribs sticking out. We have a turkey crown now!

One year I had to look after two small children and keep them occupied as my other half had tonsilitus and stayed in bed all Christmas Day and Boxing Day. Another year we had a bit more money to spare and decided to have a fresh turkey from the butchers instead of our usual frozen butterball. It was horrible, even though we followed the instructions on how to cook it to the letter, it was dry and very salty. We stuck to frozen from then on it always tasted lovely.

The mishaps might seem disastrous at the time, but they do provide us with laughs years later.
My worst disaster was at embarrassingly at school where we had laid out all the sandwiches and cakes for the children. Many yummy treats had been lovingly provided by parents. My husband entered dressed as Father Christmas with Rudolph our golden retriever wearing antlers and bells. In the middle of the long winded present giving, one of the children put her hand up and announced, "Mrs. W, is Rudolph allowed to eat all the party food?" Exit one reindeer very quickly with a full stomach, while I shot off to Tesco as fast as I could.

Just thought my other one was the glass in the oven door shattering on Christmas Eve. I packed it with foil and managed to cook the turkey but I think I used alot of electricity.

I worked with someone who came into work after Christmas not very happy. He explained that with all his family there for Christmas dinner he stood at the head of the table, put the knife into the turkey to start carving and green pus shot out. Apparently it was an abcess. They had a mainly vegetarian Christmas dinner but the pigs in blankets saved the day.

Forty years later I always do two meats for Christmas just in case.