Separate for Christmas?

I should say that DH's older children live at opposite ends of the country so visiting them for a couple of hours isn't really an option.

Also we decided when we married (six years ago) that we would start new Christmas traditions that were just for the two of us.

I've never tried that. We have my younger stepchildren for alternate Christmas/Boxing Days and my DDs/DGC visit on whichever day my stepchildren are here. We don't do big family get togethers. DDs etc visit for a couple of hours. Long enough for the children to play for a while and talk about what Father Christmas brought.