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If you don't know me by now ...

(11 Posts)
Grannyknot Mon 06-Oct-14 08:37:21

That's the title of the book I've just finished reading, a memoir by Sathnam Sanghera. Sathnam is a private school educated ("paid for by the gorment), Cambridge graduate, who lives in London, has a gori (white) girlfriend and drives a Porsche. Yet he comes from a strictly traditional Sikh family. Neither of his parents speak English. After 30 years in this country, his mother still feels more comfortable sitting on the floor. His grasp of Punjabi is slipping. So much so that he hides from the taxi drivers at the station who are also family members on his return visits and waits for a driver he doesn't recognise. So the book is his "who do you think you are"?

I've written about it in the chat section because apart from being a fascinating account (for me) of recent British history (he grew up in Wolverhampton), he makes the following plea at one point: I felt a deep well of pity for (my parents) ... and then a powerful surge of anger at the multi-culturalists out there who argue that immigrants shouldn't be forced to learn English. It means that ethnic communities can't educate themselves, don't understand what is happening even when the most extreme things occur ... That really made me think, how quick we are to assume what is best for others.

The reason for the above is that Sathnam's father had schizophrenia from a young age and, well you can imagine trying to deal with that if you can't speak English, (and you don't even know what it is).

Altogether a fascinating, and often very funny, book.

Marelli Mon 06-Oct-14 08:54:13

Thought this sounded familiar, Grannyknot! Another Gransnetter gave me a book called The Boy with the Topknot, by the same author. I got partway into it, but got side-tracked by other books that I had to read, so haven't finished it. I've just looked at the info on the inside cover and seen that the hardback version had the title, If You Don't Know Me By Now'. I must get back to it!

Stansgran Mon 06-Oct-14 10:26:29

He writes for the Times and Sunday Times and has a quirky style . He has often written about his parents and his father's illness. Is the book a compilation of his published articles or is it a rewrite?

kittylester Mon 06-Oct-14 10:28:10

Beat me to it Stansgran. I always look for his articles.

Grannyknot Mon 06-Oct-14 14:59:01

The book is a fully rounded memoir, which culminates in a letter to his mum (that he has to have translated). It doesn't read like a compilation of articles. His quirky style is very much evident in the book.

janerowena Mon 06-Oct-14 15:03:28

It sounds fascinating.

Grannyknot Mon 06-Oct-14 15:54:41

jane despite the possible heavy subject matter, it sparkles. I read it in a couple of sittings.

Versavisa Mon 06-Oct-14 16:52:43

Thank you for the recommendation. I've just reserved it from my local library.

janerowena Tue 07-Oct-14 10:21:52

I've saved it for a future bookclub recommendation. I have to find two a year, it can be quite nerve-wracking as other people choose ones I would have liked to suggest.

Versavisa Sun 09-Nov-14 11:20:19

Got it. Read it, and thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks grannyknot

I have always felt sorry for anyone living in a country where they cannot understand or speak the language, and this book gives an insight into the problems.

Grannyknot Sun 09-Nov-14 17:13:35

Glad you enjoyed it, vv. I see he's written a novel too, I may give it a try.