House envy

No, I have never had house envy. We have always been house improvers, wanting to make any house into what we want it to be and not really bothered about what other people live in, either size or decor.

If we look at any house critically, it is to decide what we would do to it if it was ours. This has got nothing to with criticising other peoples choices, just we cannot see a house without thinking about what we would do with it.

Several years ago I was talking to a distant cousin at a family do - and the talk got round to houses - and he said exactly what I have just said. As soon as he goes into someone's house, he is thinking about how he would change it to met his needs. This fascination with houses is clearly genetic

This is not bragging, however it might appear, but we come from the other side of the fence where friends always said they envied our property.
It was a 17th century 6 bedroom rural farmhouse with a Shaker style kitchen, beams everywhere, a library room, tennis courts and a swimming pool. Even though we were the owners, we always felt we were the custodians for a limited time only. The responsibility hung heavily, and like others have said, the upkeep was a bit of a burden. To be honest, it was a relief to move to a London 3 storey townhouse with a small garden, which we loved equally.
I think our greatest pleasure with the big house was that it enabled us to invite friends and family to enjoy sharing it with us.

There are lots of simple and cheap ways to improve your home. Look at Facebook reels or at Pinterest. Get rid of anything you don’t need or like and start afresh with some different bits and pieces. Or rearrange what you’ve already got. Lots in our house is second hand but people always say how nice it looks. No point in envying other people.

I regularly go to a house that is nicer than mine.
I never thought to envy it.

Personally I see all the costs and upkeep it constantly requires.
No thanks.

Having said that, I do understand where you are coming from, op.
Are there ways to make your own house, nicer?

We downsized four years ago and now have a newbuild house. It’s home to me and I plan to do more to it and the garden. I do have some friends with absolutely gorgeous houses, though, that I wouldn’t say no to, if they were offered to me as a gift!

There are always drawbacks, though - one friend’s lovely house has the original huge Victorian windows, but in winter there’s a Force 10 gale coming through them. Others consume vast amounts of energy to heat, or they’re way off the beaten track, or the garden would be a nightmare, or by a busy road.

If you feel comfortable in your own home, be it small or large, that’s the most important thing.

Everyone in my friendship group had very large houses, including myself. Then divorce happened. Although, I was awarded the large house as part of the settlement, I couldn’t afford to maintain it.. So I sold up and moved to this smaller house,
In the early days after divorce, I missed it. But what’s the point of a ‘gilded cage’ !!
No, I have never envied my friends who still had their large houses. I was just happy to get out of an unhappy marriage.

I love seeing nice houses but can't say I envy the owners. They were always out of reach so I never wasted energy on wishing one was mine. I'm very happy where I am now.

Yes and no . I love my house and am very happy there . But i do get house and garden envy when visiting people who have a gorgeous house and garden . However I wouldn’t want to be them and it does give me ideas for my house and garden

No really. I get very irritated and annoyed at myself for not having the energy to make our home nicer, but the house is enough. We will sell when all the children have gone and buy a small flat.

“Comparison is the thief of joy”.
Very true. Learn to love what you have.

Oh yes.
I envy anyone who has a nice home, not in a hateful or jealous way.
Where I am is growing increasingly shabby, so I'd like enough money to at least make it lovely inside.

So, I'm interested in others' homes, instead.

I understand. When I met my DH, it was with the understanding that he would one day buy his widowed mother's house; it was always his plan. I had no objection, since it is in a good neighbourhood and has a lovely view, but I never really loved the house style.

Over the years (we've lived here now for over 40 years), I have indeed made it my own and it is comfortable, but has no architectural style at all, it's still the same 60's box no matter what.

One of by book group ladies had a house on the same street, a 30's craftsman bungalow. I love that house! Square entry hall with symmetrical rooms on either side, lovely wooden staircase, small kitchen at the back, tiny but charming fireplace in the living room. It's creaky and older, but so homey feeling.

So yes, I get house envy! I dare say there is a difference between envy and jealousy. I see envy as more wistful and jealousy more negative.

We also have friends and relatives with much more posh homes than ours, but no, I don't envy them theirs. They worked hard for them, but they are not my style, so even if I had the money, I would choose a quirky little craftsman over three car garage and pool.

I spent the first nineteen years of my married life envying anyone who had a permanent home full stop, as we moved from one Army quarter to another, some of which were dreadful. When DH retired from the Army and we bought our first permanent home - a small 1930s semi that needed work - having a house of our own (and a mortgage!) was everything we’d dreamed of. We could finally put down roots. We’ve always had friends, and family, with bigger better houses, but they seemed just as happy to be in ours as we were to be in theirs.

Never. Just grateful we have a roof over our heads.
Feel so sorry for young people today that can’t get a leg up the property ladder.

No, house envy of friends homes has never occurred to me. For much the same reason I never envied them their husbands or children.

I always preferred our home, (all of them, regardles of size) my husband, and our children.

I don't really understand that. I really love my home. It's not huge but too big for us unless family arrive.

But, it's our family home and that is what counts.

We live in a small 3 bed terraced house in London which we were very lucky to be able to buy because it was by no means cheap. My older sister also lives in London but in a large semi with a big garden and four beds. She was a headteacher and her husband a solicitor and they only have one son, so they are very well to do. But I don’t envy her at all, I love my little house and wouldn’t want to live anywhere else, my sister is a widow now and feels increasingly lonely and stressed in such a big house that she finds hard to maintain.
I would never want a bigger house at my age, especially now that I care for my DH, and keeping the place tidy and clean is much more doable.

With the way it is with the rental market at the moment I am just grateful that I do own my own house it’s only a three bedroom terrace but I love it..
In my area to rent a three bedroom house of Any description is about £1200 a month….