Impatient son in farm shop

I used to tell families: decide how much caring you can cope with and then let us pick up the rest with no judgement on you.

Part of it is about knowing your limits though. I know I'm often unpopular for being honest but I know my limits wrt caring for my own daughter who has a disability/autism/LD and as a carer you have to think about what is best for the person you are caring for. I know I couldn't care for my daughter full time anymore, so I don't. It's better for her. She doesn't deserve someone to be ratty/patience shredded with her, so that simply doesn't happen.

It's quite simple, vulnerable people shouldn't be shouted at or ordered about. If your caring role makes you behave in a manner that isn't normal for you, it is actually very sensible to question and research alternatives or ways of making your own mental health better

I'm not pointing the finger at anyone. I know how difficult it is and I am no saint

It was rude. Nothing benign about it.

I accept the criticism of being judgemental in this instance.

I also acknowledge that sometimes patience can be stretched and a large part of my job was about supporting families and carers.

But this was worrying.

How was the tone? Hostile? Caring?

"You don't want that" by itself is not rude, it is just assertive.

Saying no is not pretty, but it is not rude

A person may want everything he/she sees and discard thr next minute, for example

You deal with the same situation x amount of times and you learn to say what works

What happens if this interaction was between a parent and a minor child, vs a elderly and their offspring?

Luckygirl3

Part of my job was dealing with elder abuse. Seen some dreadful stuff.

I think you can infer some things from what you see - especially if you’re experienced like you are. And whatever difficulties there might be, he should treat her with respect in public

Part of my job was dealing with elder abuse. Seen some dreadful stuff.

But if he's like that to her in public ......

I must admit I won’t shop with my DH as he is always when he’s with me asking me why I want this or that. I hate having to explain meal plans in the middle of a shop.

You don't know the whole picture by seeing a just one frame

I agree with merlotgran

Crikey, talk about judgemental..

Fallingstar I know that situation. When my AC and their families all get together, I totally feel like a spare part as regards conversation, including in my own house when I have bought and cooked the meal.
I suppose I should feel glad that they enjoy seeing each other and that they come to my house.

Fair comment. But it was not a pretty sight ...

That man may have been at the end of his tether. You don’t know the background.

My late mother would sometimes run me ragged when out shopping. My two brothers lived two hours away so it was always me at her beck and call.

I don’t judge if I don’t know the facts.

This happens and it infuriates me too.
A while ago I saw a family group on the table next to ours at a restaurant. An elderly woman was sitting with what I presumed to be her grown up family and GCs. As they all ate they talked and laughed but never once spoke to the poor woman who just picked at her food. At one point I saw her try to get their attention and then the attention of a passing member of staff, but everyone ignored her. Eventually she just gave up and sat staring ahead.
I wouldn’t have been surprised if they all left the restaurant and left the elderly woman sitting there.
I felt like getting a megaphone from somewhere and handing it to the woman and telling her to just blast their ears off.

You'll have to tutor me in The Look!

You should have said , "if you want it, have it my love" in a nice gentle voice , while given him the evil eye. My DD says I can floor anyone with
"My Look"😡