Weddings .......

I agree MOnica one of the loveliest weddings I went to was held in a village church. Bride, groom and guests all walked through the village to the church. The reception was held in a marquee at the bride's parents home. I always remember that lovely day.

4allweknow,
I certainly agree with you about the styles of some wedding dresses now, cut out at the waist with just a bit of see through lace covering, how times have changed..

Obviously 'each to their own', we cannot influence someone elses decisions, especially if we have never met them, but it doesn't stop us being judgemental!

Looking back over a lifetime of weddings, as a general rule, one already mentioned by others, is that the bigger the wedding the shorter the marriage, with some exceptions.

Certainly the happiest and most enjoyable weddings I have been to have been the informal and the home made and all those marriages have lasted.

I live quite nearby a hotel that is awarded the world wedding hotel of the year, think fourth time recently.
There are pictures posted on FB of each wedding (in house photography) and when I see wedding wuth about 7 bridesmaids and groom"s men I shudder at the cost of that alone. Goodness knows what the wedding dresses cost. Between see through corset bodices, tops so low just about everything is ready to fall out or cut so narrow there is no back or sides to the top of the dress. It's all definitely all about "look at me" and don't bother about the reason why we are all here. Being an old fuddy duddy of course there are the ones where the couple's children are in the group too. Why bother with such a show when obviously been living as a family for years already inless they have wakened up to the inheritance issue when not married. Weddings have gone mad.

Thank you, Pabley.

We went to a wedding a few years ago where costs were well into six figures, the bride’s family being very wealthy. (Not sure why we were invited!)

That same year, we went to a wedding in a local barn, decorated with greenery from local hedges, and we feasted on pizzas and salads.

Both weddings were equally enjoyable and memorable, and if the parties have the ‘cash to splash’, why not? It’s providing employment for a lot of people.

some of the best weddings we've ever been to, the reception has been held in the local community centre, a lovely 3 course meal and dancing afterwards..

My DD is a wedding photographer and as such sees a lot of stressed brides and family dynamics.

There is one Scottish venue which she really likes as they will help the frazzled brides its usually the bride to keep calm, loan things to save money, and generally help to take the pressure off.

DDs own wedding was planned by her to perfection apart from my outfit which she disliked

Our wedding 57 years ago was a very simple Quaker wedding. We made our own sandwiches and DMiL made the cake.
Also we had no children yet! 😀 A lot less complicated.
Hen do? What was that🤣😂😅

I think it was at Kate Winslet's wedding which was a sausage and mash do at the local pub ! Best wedding ever !!!

Some brides like a fuss and a big doo.

That was our youngest. Married 2010. Manchester Town Hall. Cellist from Chethams school of music. Wedding planner. The works. 🎉

Eldest girl said she’d rather stick pins in her eyes. Registry office on a Monday late morning in Yorkshire. Two friends acted as witnesses. No family (either side attended) “it’s a marriage mum, sensible now we have a mortgage”. She didn’t even change her surname to his.

Both (still) very happily married. It was ‘their’ day and they chose what suited them best. Happy mum.

Like potty training, daughter in law and probably the weather, other people’s weddings, particularly those of the younger generation will always generate lots of heat.

Is it any of our business?
I think not.

Hollywood, the media coverage of celebrity or royal weddings and the wedding industry has a lot to answer for.

At least these days, most couples are paying for the wedding themselves.

Yes, to me it seems stupid and improvident to pay thousands for a dress you will only wear once, an expensive reception and honeymoon, especially if the couple are taking out a loan to do all this.

But it is a trend, and like all trends will die out at some point, and as long as no-one is asking me to foot the bill, I can manage to keep my sarcastic comments to myself when listening to anyone's wedding plans. (although holding my tongue has never come easily to me.)

A wedding a friend went to recently took the biscuit as far as I'm concerned. Over 200 people were invited to a country church wedding. The very maximum the church could hold was 130. Over 70 guests had to stand outside. In the area the wedding was held it's very much a case of how can we outdo the last one that was held.

Vanity projects

I find it hard to understand these "conspicuous consumption" weddings with each bride trying to outdo the previous event they attended. Do you really need the cocktails, the snacks, the hog roast and the fireworks? And the cost of hiring a castle or large country house must be absolutely astronomical.
We had a smallish (50 people) simple wedding with a meal in a local hotel, as was common in the 70's. I think my mother would have liked me to be more excited, but for us the point was to be married in front of our family and friends, not to spend the equivalent of three year's salary on just one day.
My son had a more elabourate wedding, largely because my DIL comes from a large close family, but they planned it themselves over a couple of years, booking it very early so that they could use a reasonably priced venue.
I can't bear the modern hen night, I've been to a couple but wouldn't want to do any more. Some couples both have an overseas weekend trip which must be a real financial burden for some of those invited - I just can't understand the point.

The daughter of an acquaintance of mine is a bridesmaid at an upcoming wedding and has just found out that the hen involves 5 days abroad which she can't afford. She tried telling the bride who has now rescinded the bridesmaid offer but still expects her to pay for the bridesmaid dress which is all but finished.

That was lovely Sue, so nice that her dad got to see her married,

My dd and her Dh had a lovely wedding last month. It was their second, because they had a small ceremony last year with only 16 guests, after her dad was diagnosed with a terminal illness. Sadly, he didn’t live long enough to celebrate this bigger wedding with lots of family and friends.

She chose a rural venue that did a full weekend package so we had three days/two nights there with all meals provided. You’d find it hard to get a weekend break anywhere for that money, I can tell you!

My dd planned it all meticulously, as is her way, but she wasn’t a bridezilla. She just wanted the people she loves to be there. The venue provides a wedding organiser and she commented at the end that dd was the most chilled-out bride she’d ever come across! No fuss, no bother, just an amazing party weekend! Everyone seemed to have a fabulous time, which is the most important thing.

Surely if the bride wants a colour scheme, that should be with the bridle party, not the guests, I definitely would not be at a wedding where the bride chose what colour I should wear, going a bit over the top.

I always think that as it’s the couple who have decided what they want, I shouldn’t criticise their choices, so I don’t spend any time thinking about how much it has cost. Every wedding I’ve been to has been different, and I’m pleased about that because it reflects them. The most enjoyable weddings for me are those with good company, food and music, it’s always lovely to see the couple enjoying their day, and to enjoy it with them.

I also think that people should have the wedding they want, but at the same time accept that some guests won’t come if they put restrictions and rules on the event.
One of our nieces had her wedding abroad, in a lovely but inaccessible place. It wasn’t the actual wedding, as that had taken place in a registry office some weeks earlier, with no guests.
They also said no children on the day, but theywere welcome at a BBQ the next day. Which made me wonder what they thought parents were going to do with the children, in a foreign country, on the day of the wedding. We didn’t attend, too much of a palaver.
Personally I think some of the best weddings are the less formal ones.

I like it when celebs do as Kate Moss did & have a low-key wedding. She was the person a lot of teenagers wanted to be, & she didn't bow to the pressure to make it "the event of the year" or anything.Sad the marriage didn't last.

There was a thread on MN earlier where a BTB was demanding that her mixed race niece and nephew aged around 8 and 4 I think, had their hair straightened for the wedding! Absolutely insane request IMO!

Fair enough, that sounds lovely Martavtaurus, & doesn't involve the guests in too much expense.

It's the expectation that all your guests & family can afford to pay for travel to an expensive destination. That doesn't seem fair, how embarrasing to have to admit that you can't afford to attend, but equally how unfair of you miss out on something really important to you, or go into debt, because you've spent big on someone else's wedding.

IMO only OK if it's a small wedding or among the super-rich.

MartavTaurus
That sounds absolutely fabulous. I’m not a wedding person but I would certainly have gone to that one 🥰
One of my daughter’s weddings was a no expense bells and whistles affair. The most fabulous day ever 🥰
I know a young girl who was quoted £250 by a hairdresser to do her hair on the day. That didn’t include the trail run to see how she wanted it 😱

I guess if you have the money available, then why not?
DD1 had a fantastic wedding in London, and although it was expensive, the guests still refer to it many years later! Church ceremony with bridesmaids, flowers, cars, then London bus ride to the venue, sipping champagne en route. Wedding breakfast, cake, evening buffet, jazz band. A Joyous occasion, smiling faces, everyone still friends and the couple still very much in love!
It was around the time of Prince William's and Catherine's wedding, so not as glamorous as theirs, but well coordinated by my DH who had contacts in the London theatre world for lighting, staging and music. Our DD was youngish and full of her own wedding dreams without wanting to be showy.
Hen do and stag do were fairly normal events.
No one went into debt, and their flat was mortgage free anyway.