Not so mid life crisis

Ask yourself are your buckets full or half empty? Spiritual, emotional, physical, creative, social, travel etc? What could you do to keep them full? What are your strengths, talents, and what new things would you like to learn? Get yourself a good routine in place and complacency can lead to depression. Everything is life has a meaning, it just depends what you choose to assign your meaning to.

Ive never managed to get into the retirement mind set. I have an international antiques business - which I am gradually winding down. I also do private tutoring which I enjoy. And the £££ comes in useful.

I did absolutely nothing for the first year after retirement other than try and decide what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I now volunteer at local hospital one day a week, help out with food bank on two mornings and help out in charity shop one afternoon. I’ve made new friends and feel part of the community. Just as well really as I lost my husband very suddenly 9 months ago and my ‘little jobs’ have kept me sane.

I think your feelings are totally normal!
My partner retired a few years ago from a pretty fast paced industry which also involved a lot of travel.
He played down how he felt at the time but I knew he was struggling.
He now admits he found the lack of routine and responsibility really difficult and felt ‘lost’.
Nowadays he wonders where he found time to go to work and loves his new found freedom!
He got very involved with village life and did some volunteering. He’s quite into sports so can spend more time doing those and even set up his own little brewery.
It did take time to adjust but he is now very happy.
There’s lots to get involved with once you start looking around.
Good luck!

Maybe stand still and learn to breath at your own pace with no commitments totally wind down from your old routine then you csn move forward on your plans when you have learned to relax without a regimented timetable

I’d write down all the things you can do, now you’re not restricted a time table. They could be simple things like enjoying not getting up on a frosty morning, or bigger things such as holidays. From that random list you can begin to plan.
Sometimes the unexpected pops up and it’s lovely to be able to take advantage of not being tied down.

I suggest you give yourself a sort of "holiday" first. It is very easy to get overcommitted as a sort of panic reaction to having no set things or times organised. Allow yourself to try out some pastimes you havent had the time for before, but keep it informal, rather than signing up for set times straight away.

If you take things steady for the next couple of months, in September there will be many courses and clubs and groups that you could explore. Firstly I suggest that you take yourself off to the library, where they will have quite a variety of notices about all sorts of things and they usually have all the up to date phone numbers and contacts for groups , whether the U3a, or the golf club or whatever. If you see anything that takes your fancy, you could look up more information on it. When you are considering things, remember to think of going to meetings in winter as well as summer and think if that would make any difference to you.

There are many lovely gardens open in the NGS , which are just lovely to visit in their own right and give you good ideas for your own garden - if you have one. Let your mind also get used to the change, and something you could do easily is to move your shopping and things like any business meetings you might need to weekdays and generally avoid the weekends. That can be something applied to trips away too. The pleasure of avoiding bank holiday weekends and so forth. Enjoy the summer being able to go out and about or just enjoy being at home and taking things easy.

There are very many different organisations who would be glad of a volunteer to help out. Again you could try some things out before committing yourself to a regular date, as you may find things different to how you had expected. Then when you find the things you enjoy doing , to be a reliable volunteer is very much appreciated.

Finally have you had something or somewhere you always fancied going to but never got there? If you are in reasonable health I always think it is a good plan to see if you could go, while you are able to. We never know what changes in our lives, and finally getting to that special place is very worth while even if it does not live up to your expectations. So my motto is do and go while you can. I think it is better to have done things and look back at new horizons tried than to stay at home , never get there and wish you had. Whether that turns out to be travelling far and wide or going to part of this country that you have never been to before.

I hope you enjoy trying out some ideas that you will see from posts on here and dont forget, you can try out lots at your own pace. You are not stuck with cramming everything into a few weeks. You might also keep a little notebook with you, so that at one end you jot down any ideas of things you would like to try or do. At the other end you could put down any jobs or things that need doing, getting paperwork up to date, checking address and phone numbers up to date on the endless pile of papers. If you drive is your photo up to date on your licence? Have you applied for your bus pass if you are entitled to one. This is not meant to be a list to make you feel you must do any specific thing, but the ideas are there as and when you want them.

In the meantime you can really enjoy right now, sitting in the cool inside or out ,in the middle of the day , with a cold drink and just think how glad you are not to be stuck in a stuffy office or boiling in a car on the motorway. You will soon find yourself wondering how you had time to go to work, as many people say

It also helps to have a planned rhythm to your days. A regular getting up time and bedtime. Eating regular meals, I deduce you live alone and one of the biggest dangers facing people on their own is poor diet, just eating when they feel like it, or not at all, tending to go for easy ready food and take aways. It can destroy your health and your life.

Plan menus once a week, you do not have to stick to them, but it means you will buy good food that can be made into other dishes if needed.

Thank you Astitchintime and Aveline 😊
That's really reassuring to read. I think I've felt as though I ought to have a plan straight away, but maybe I just need to give myself a bit of time
I like the idea of having something to do on weekdays but not overcommitting until I know what I actually enjoy. Volunteering has crossed my mind too, so it's good to hear how rewarding you've found it.
I suppose after years of work it's bound to feel a bit odd at first, I think no one really prepares you for this and you feel like an empty nester of yourself?

I always try to have something organised to do every week day. I want to try to keep weekends special/different.
Classes, social meet ups, jobs round the house, organising holidays etc. You'll find your way.

Hello, and welcome to GN! I basically retired slightly early due to work related injuries, I could have continued to work but not in the physically demanding role I was trained for and I took my OP because I was at an age where I had that choice.
Being still very active I volunteered with a couple of local charities which was really rewarding. I could also go swimming and cycling when I wanted to rather than trying to fit those in around a shift pattern.
Much longed for travel plans became a reality as did time with AC and DGC.
Just pace yourself and don’t make any commitments until you’re absolutely sure. But most importantly, enjoy everything that you do! 💐