Retirement is it what you thought it would be?

I was having lunch with a friend today and she told me her husband was retiring at the end of the year and wants to go on a world tour to celebrate. He is 84 years old. Good for him ! Only thing is, she doesn’t want to travel that far and be away from home that long.

MrsMatt

I could have retired last year but I couldn't think of anything worse than not having something to do. I work 1 full day and 2 half days a week. All my now adult kids have moved into their own homes. My husband passed in 2014, so there is just me at home. It is hard sometimes but I try to always have something to do, painting, crochet, sewing etc

I always thought that I would not be busy. LOL

A colleague gave me a gift and some advice passed on by her mother - a box with a crime book, a huge box of chocolates, face mask, bath soak and a smelly candle - the advice was to take a week or two to do nothing but enjoy stepping off the rat race and use the contents to unwind. She was right, SO right.

I took a casual job invigilating exams which is seasonal and does not pay much, but a great community and you get a DBS, and some training to help with volunteering. I also do the elections which obviously is very sporadic and just one long day. We have a volunteer register that offers other opportunities. Then there is the U3A which can keep you out every day if you let it; the WI and trefoil guilds are full of activities, outings and group holidays. I help slower readers at the school.
My DH does see me from time to time

Boadicea - do get some financial advice. If you are a carer, then your mother could potentially claim an allowance and you should get your NI paid.
Pension is payable to everyone, and you can ask for pension credits to make it up to minimum level even without "stamps"

ViceVersa

No. I suppose probably because it was pretty much forced upon me, rather than a conscious decision, but I hate it. I seem to have lost so much confidence and 'get up and go'. Now almost every day just seems the same - and unfortunately my deteriorating health means that finding another job or volunteering role isn't really an option.

I ran a Rainbow Guide group and a lady with serious lung problems volunteered. She came most weeks all through the summer, but was less available during the wetter and colder months. That suited us well as we needed extra hands when we could get out and about.
I handed it over, but am a supernumery filling in for holidays, work committments and sickness. Works well, and I have joined the local trefoil guild, going when it fits in.
I volunteer at the school sitting and listening to the children read aloud - lots of demand for that.

For me , yes it is . I retired 4 years ago at 63 . DH is 4 years older and was due to retire, so we retired together as we wanted to travel whilst we still had our health . We were very much aware that you don’t know what’s around the corner .
I’m a planner and gave retirement a lot of thought and decided to use the time to try new things . I volunteer in a charity shop, joined a small yoga class , started outdoor swimming in a local lake , although I’m not hardcore enough to swim during the winter . I go to the gym , walk my dog and care for my mum who’s 90 and housebound . Last month my DH built me a raised bed vegetable bed, which I’m filling .
My DH didn’t give retirement much thought and struggled for the first year . His hobby is clay pigeon shooting , so that keeps him busy several days a week . He’s also got into carpentry and has turned a shed into a workshop.
We’re very lucky to have our health and fitness and are aware things can change very quickly.

I retired in 2022 at age 66. I loved my job but was burnt out after working through Covid. It took me 2 years to settle although did enjoy the rest and freedom. It took a while but eventually I carved out a new lifestyle. Joined a book club, help with a free Community Meal weekly, meet friends for lunch or coffee and enjoy having more time with them. I have kept in touch with ex colleagues and then completed some additional training which was challenging (trying to remember everything) but I got through and now self employed mentoring others new to my previous profession. I love having the freedom to pick up deployments (which are just 22 hours over a few weeks) or leave them and keep control of my own diary in doing so. It seems a waste to not use all that experience and training gained over 25 years. I love the balance now and make the most of everything as acutely aware that health problems can limit everything and can come unexpectedly. My DH and I have regular breaks and he enjoys some part time paid gardening and golf so we are thankful but making the most of everything while we can! We are fortunate to have savings and reasonable pension income. We love being with our grandchildren they bring so much joy!

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Can't afford to retire!
Was a self employed live in carer in my 60s so I could more or less work when I wanted as I didn't get my pension till I was 66.
I was diagnosed with ADHD around the same time so much of my life then made sense - not being able to stick at one thing long enough to work my way up or get much pension.
My partner has a business which I help him with but several times a year it's hard physical work and each time it takes us longer to recover!
I have had issues with my back for years; he hurt his a few years back and now has nerve issues with his knee related to that and I have sciatica off and on as well as tennis elbow and arthritis in my fingers and trigger finger in 2 of them.
I had to give up the care work as there just doesn't seem to be time what with helping with the business, helping care for my 93 year old mother, doing up the old house we bought 3 years ago and cleaning, cleaning, cleaning - which I really resent! I always said I would never be a "housewife" and now I find I have fallen into this role and I hate it.
OH is not a chauvinist, he just doesn't think that most of what I do (vacuuming, ironing, wiping down surfaces etc) needs doing!
I wouldn't have had cats if I weren't with him - as well as just having that responsibility and being tied to when people can catsit for us you can see from the pictures how much hair they shed so not cleaning is not an option.(for me, at any rate. I am fed up of having to clean cat hair off my clothes.
So no, this is not what I imagined myself to be doing at 71.
And I can't help remembering that my father was only 6 years older than I am now when he had a fatal stroke!

Yes, I bloody love it, especially lying in bed till 10 am withouts a care in the world.

I wouldn't want to go back to work, but I do sometimes get bored. My declining health means that most retirement occupations are impossible.

However, I enjoy my small garden, reading and watching programmes on my iPad. I also love seeing my granddaughter once a week, even though I'm exhausted afterwards.

I could have retired last year but I couldn't think of anything worse than not having something to do. I work 1 full day and 2 half days a week. All my now adult kids have moved into their own homes. My husband passed in 2014, so there is just me at home. It is hard sometimes but I try to always have something to do, painting, crochet, sewing etc

I retired 2 years ago,( I’m 70) from a part time hospital post, and think I am still adjusting and trying to find my way. I don’t miss rushing to get to work and back, the time juggling and the planning needed to continue to work - but I miss meeting people, the support from my colleagues, being a useful part of a team and the interest of work We have a disabled adult son who lives with us, and I worry about his future- especially as we age further. I was concerned that retirement from paid work would not suit me - but I enjoy the slower pace of life.

To all those enjoying your retirements, take my advice and make the most of it, because at our age we don't know what's around the corner. I speak from bitter experience.

Coconut

Tooyoungtobeagrandma …… well done you ! I do feel for everyone who has ties or mobility issues at this age. I lost my mum aged 95 last year, and am now a redundant mum and Nan, so I am doing everything I possibly can, as no one knows what life has in store, plus I already have lost friends and have 2 who are housebound. I travel all the time on singles holidays, or grown up granddaughters, and spend loads of time in Jersey, as son no2 lives there, and just live life to the full with no ties to anything. Am loving retirement and my kids call me Shirley Valentine ! Haven’t met a Greek man yet tho to go sailing with 🤭🤣 but a girl can hope !

Coconut I'll keep my fingers crossed you find a nice Greek man (or any nice man😉). I was more than happy being single and, like you, went on solo holidays and had a wild time (well as wild as someone in their 60's can have 😜). I met my new DH in a bar whilst dancing after consuming sangria 😁 Beither of us were looking gor anything serious yet here we are married, honeymooned in the US and taking as many trips as money and schengen allows whilst we can. I know that Im ok on my own should anything happen him well Im not so sure. Neither of our children are particularly interested in us so we just get on with our lives and make the most of it. Currently sat in the sun, with a coffee catching up on stuff then off for a stroll. As for thisr who miss work, I always thought that I would miss my job but Im still "the boss" just don't have to get up early, drive through rush hour traffic or deal with rude people. I just tell the cat what to do, suggest jobs for the DH and make decisions about the refurb on the holiday home bliss 😊

I know that retirement would not suit me so I still work part-time in a high dementia care home,only three afternoons a week two till eight and I love the job.As long as I can Work I will,only illness would make me give it up…..
Also, I only have the state Pension so this tops that up that, It does annoy me that they put my small amount of wages together with my Pension and tax it but that’s the way it is 🤷‍♀️
I’m 73

Yes, it's great but still the same amount of cooking, cleaning and food shopping to be done!

was really looking forward to retirement, 4 years ago, was going to do this, that and the other but unfortunately 6 months into retirement i became my sisters carer and so a lot of freedom has been curtailed and have only done a fraction of things i'd hoped to do. don't get me wrong i love my sister but i do think her timing could have been better

I only had a part-time job so didn't actually retire from work. I retired from the life I had. I divorced my husband and started a new life on my own, and it's wonderful.
I enjoyed being a mother but now I have freedom to spend my time as I wish.
I'm lucky not to have major health problems so I can get out walking whenever I wish.
I miss having a car as I'm not comfortable on public transport, but that's the only problem I have really.

I love it. Never had such a good social life, holiday opportunities and being able to do what I want when I want The only downside is getting older and older and losing the ability to to do so many physical things -plus losing some dear friends. At one stage I had 3 jobs, a main one and 2 extras to help pay for education etc for our children which was so full on I didn’t have time to scratch myself.

This is such a great thread ( although very sad in places )
I’m due to retire next summer ( I’ll be 64 and can’t wait ) so it’s been so interesting reading the replies.

It is not what I expected in that I didn’t imagine not having my beloved DH by my side.

He was the chef/owner of a very busy restaurant for thirty years. It was relentless work but he thrived on it whilst I was a stay at home mum for 17 years until our youngest was 7 and I went to work in our restaurant for ten years.

DH retired at 63, I was 52 . We sold the restaurant and our villa which was too big once the children started moving out, and we moved to a more central part of the island.

We enjoyed five years of travelling, mainly to visit our two eldest girls who moved to the US, and becoming grandparents to DGD.

Then cancer scuppered our plans. My poor DH was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer at the age of 68 and died almost exactly a year later.

I was 58 when he died and life has not been the same since. I have had to learn to be comfortable with my own company, do all sorts of things that I took for granted that DH used to do. He looked after us all so well and I miss him so much.

It’s 11 years since he died and it still feels strange but I count my blessings and try to get on with life enjoying my twin grandsons, helping out when needed, and seeing a few good friends.

I never enjoyed working so I don’t miss it and I love having no pressure to do anything I don’t feel like doing.

I am not overly religious but I do have faith without which I would not have coped with the way things have turned out.

My DH was able to retire at age 50, which is 26 years ago now. I retired a few years after him, and we are still having a wonderful retirement. Lots of travel, great social life, plenty of different activities. Really feel very lucky that we are “living the life.”

Have you tried seated exercise yoga or Pilates these are often shorter sessions too. I’m disabled and do both. I also do singing for well being which is just fun call and response songs . No need to be able to sing .
There is also a seated strength class. Just music and doing what you can from seated position. No fast jerks .
The other things are author talks or coffee mornings at village halls . We have loads of stuff here .

I'm widowed since 2008 and I finished work in 2011. I didn't have a vision of what retirement would be like. I just knew I didn't want my job any more.

I'm lucky that I'm fit and well and I have my hobby which is karate. I'm out teaching it five days a week on a voluntary basis and training on four days. Most of the sessions are late afternoon and evening so I don't vegetate in front of the TV. I spend my evenings kicking, punching and shouting loudly! I also have sewing as a hobby, so that takes up time during the day. If I didn't have karate and sewing it might be a different story because I don't have much of a social life outside of karate training.

Kathmaggie - the AgeUK Telephone Befriending scheme is worth looking at. I am an AgeUK volunteer telephone befriender, now on my second client. Seven years ago I was paired with a delightful elderly man living by himself with some ill health. We chatted for about half an hour once a week which suited both of us. He died with cancer after three years and I felt loss - you learn a great deal about someone in that time.

I chose to spend a year without a pairing as I needed to have that break before I volunteered again. I am now in my third year of chatting with my current client. He is now beginning to go downhill with several severe health issues.

They have been completely different experiences and the two have had totally different personalities. It has been such a privilege and has helped me as much as my helping them.

Maybe it’s something that other GNs might research and think about too. Easy to do in an agreed time slot from your own home…

I just can’t imagine having a job now. I’ve always liked being free and pleasing myself. But I do have a lazy streak and feel I waste some days doing nothing much. However now summer’s coming I do feel more lively. I have a long “to do” list but usually only tick off the jobs I enjoy like gardening whereas the other jobs just stay on the list. I suppose I lack purpose really even though I’m quite happy.